Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Does anyone go to church and not believe in God?

87 replies

OhDear2200 · 22/09/2019 17:12

I’m curious, I’ve been a dip in and out of church (C of E) through my life.

Can’t decide if I believe or not. But is it so bad continuing to go/be involved in the church community if I don’t believe? I like the routine, meeting people and singing Blush

Just wonder if I am the only one!!!

OP posts:
JoyceDivision · 22/09/2019 17:17

You most certainly won't be the only one! But there will be very very few who attend church who will admit it!

I have attended Mass all my life, give a blip late teenage years, and at the moment I'm struggling with many parts of faith and the Church and how it is run, the cliques, the breath taking blasé nature of the priest that is almost insulting, the favouritism, the shameless hounding for money... I could go on!

Grannybags · 22/09/2019 17:22

You are totally not alone! Trying to fathom out religion is hard. I’ve done morning service, four baptisms today and I’m just off to choir practice and Evensong - I can not say that I believe in it everyday. I respect those who are certain in their faith but I’m sure lm more in the majority than they are. Fellowship is a huge part of church - if you enjoy the more social aspects then great.
Maybe one day you (and I) will have a revelation?!

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 22/09/2019 17:28

Yep, me. Haven’t been able to call myself a believer for years - and have been quite open about it with the vicar and anyone who asks, which isn’t totally uncommon as people notice I don’t take communion. Everyone’s been fine, I’ve become a part of the community as much as anyone else and made good friends. Everyone’s in their own place on their own journey and I think most people understand that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cookit · 22/09/2019 17:34

Oh gosh I always assumed half the clergy never really gave much thought into whether they truly believe or not. Maybe that’s not fair.

ginghamstarfish · 22/09/2019 17:36

I'm sure lots do, my PILs for example (I've asked them). It's a social and or status thing for some, particularly older people I think in many cases.

AgeLikeWine · 22/09/2019 17:38

C of E churches, in particular, are full of people who don’t really believe that god exists. A significant proportion of the clergy don’t, either. They think old ‘God’ as a metaphor, rather than having a literalist belief in an omnipotent, omniscient supernatural deity.

Fraggling · 22/09/2019 17:39

I know loads of people who go for same reason as you op

Don't think church minds too much prob, bums on seats money in collection people to help out etc etc

Soola · 22/09/2019 17:40

A friend of mine was abruptly widowed. She was in complete shock and had two children.

A few days into their grief she went to their local church. She was and still is a non believer but the support she got for herself and her children was incredible and she continues to be part of the church and is involved in activities and fund raising.

Her children made many friends and she believes it was going to church made the three of them have something to look forward to and getting out of the house to be in a supportive and caring group.

Carry on going if you enjoy the company.

Oblomov19 · 22/09/2019 17:41

Yep. Mum was bought up Catholic, been Pentecostal for donkeys years. Dh's family are Catholic and both ds's go to a catholic school. I struggle a lot. But it's me that takes them to church, always.
And I love it. But struggle in the mass service because father doesn't know my struggle.

WheresTheEvidence · 22/09/2019 17:44

Me. I dip in occasionally and recently have been going more regularly but I am still in the I really dont believe but some of the sermons are helpful just in day to day enlightenment

ChangedMyNameYetAgain · 22/09/2019 17:48

I'm a lapsed churchgoer. I believe in God but struggle with Jesus being the Son of God.

gostiwooz · 22/09/2019 17:55

Oh I believe there is a God, just not much of a fan of the rest of it - I've never been all that fond of people interpreting things their own way and telling me what to to think.

I only go to the Christingle now.

Raindrops2019 · 22/09/2019 17:55

@JoyceDivision (love the name!) Gosh, you have summed up so much of what I am struggling with.

'many parts of faith and the Church and how it is run, the cliques, the breath taking blasé nature of the priest that is almost insulting, the favouritism, the shameless hounding for money.'

I know there are many good people there but after the scandals and attitude of the clergy over some things I really struggle. Its as though they think they can brazen it out.

Polyethyl · 22/09/2019 17:56

I have a good friend at church who is entirely atheist. He comes because his wife is a believer. He has become an essential part of church admin team. Ringing the bell, setting out chairs, keeping guard on the door to stop toddlers getting their fingers caught etc. He cheerfully admits he doesn't believe a word of it. But he likes us as a bunch of people and likes keeping his wife happy. Wonderful bloke.

Starisnotanumber · 22/09/2019 18:03

Not now but did in the past so the dc could get into local church school. I attended every week nearly for 4 years did all the necessary form filling in and have not been since.

Raindrops2019 · 22/09/2019 18:06

@Starisnotanumber You do know faith is a real thing to people?

stucknoue · 22/09/2019 18:07

Most of the congregation certainly have doubts, don't think any of us truly believe everything!

MonsteraCheeseplant · 22/09/2019 18:13

I'm pretty confident my FIL only goes to please his wife. They are members of the choir and it is a social thing for them. It's no harm.

DGRossetti · 22/09/2019 18:32

C of E churches, in particular, are full of people who don’t really believe that god exists.

I thought they were specially designed for such ?

If I were to ever (re) study history, I'd be curious to research actual belief in history, as opposed to belief for convenience. I suspect a lot of people who went to church did so for a social reason, rather than spiritual (since God is omnipresent and omniscient ....)

TowerRingInferno · 22/09/2019 18:44

I go through phases. At the moment I feel nothing at all and that the church isn’t somewhere I want to be, but there have been other times where I really do believe in some sort of God, but I’m certainly very unclear what sort. Other things in relation to Jesus make no sense to me at all, and I struggle to believe that they really do to other people (but they say that they do so I must respect that).

There are so many aspects of the institution of the church that put me off. Some of the most unpleasant and ‘unchristian’ behaviour I’ve seen has been in churches.

When I’m in a non-believing phase I can’t join in with the prayers. I just sit passively. I’ve always refused to take communion. My local church is pretty good about not judging people for that, and there’s quite a few who sit out. In my last one people would stare and whisper about it.

Starisnotanumber · 22/09/2019 18:53

I realise that faith is real to many people and while attending church got to know people whose life was really altered by their faith.
If during my church attendance I had experienced what others had which changed their lives I would have gladly accepted that, however it didn't so I stopped going

Tiggles · 22/09/2019 19:11

Whilst I'm fairly confident in saying my fellow clergy do actually believe in God, I am well aware that isn't true for all my congregation. Some come as they are searching. Some just like the social aspect of church. It isn't my job to judge why people come but to care for them all.

HeronLanyon · 22/09/2019 19:13

I’ve always assumed so - many church goers I have come across have been the very least ‘christian’ and couldn’t possibly behave the way they do if they did believe what they profess to.

GoldenEvilHoor · 22/09/2019 19:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

chomalungma · 22/09/2019 19:18

many church goers I have come across have been the very least ‘christian’ and couldn’t possibly behave the way they do if they did believe what they profess to

Many prominent politicians as well as people in Twitter who claim to be Christian seem to have also forgotten what it is to be Christian.

Looking at you , Cameron, Widdecombe and Hopkins...