Would I be mad to get with back with him?

[DemonMonkey]

Name changed

Me and ex split up 2 years ago but we have stayed friends. He used to take drugs once in a while and when he did he got violent. He assaulted someone and was arrested.

He's been released now and doesn't do drugs. I met up with him yesterday and he said he still loves me and wants to try again with our relationship.

Would I be mad to get back with him?

Yes, you would be mad.

Yes. Dont do it.

You would be crazy

100% nuts.

Thank you for your replies.

Do you think he has really changed though?

How on earth would anyone here know?

Has he undergone a drugs program?

And why do you want to get back with him?

You again? It's up to you want sort of self destructive life you want.

Oh is this a repeat?

Yes hes changed for now, vut he has a very difficult ride in the long term.

People develop coping strategies, some are healthy some are not. Most people will return to tried and tested coping strategies when the shit hits the fan. So whilst he may be doing fantastic now he won't always be doing fantastic. Which for you means in the best case scenario when the shit hits the fan you're on your own with no support from your life partner because he will just trying to protect himself and stay clean or worst case scenario you'll be dealing with a druggie who is battering you (potentially to death) as well as dealing with whatever other shit is going on, and SS who will be correctly trying to protect any kids in the situation.

You can tinker round the edges, but an addict is always either an addict or a recovering addict.

I haven't posted about this before.

He said he did a drugs program. I was wondering if I should get back with him because he said he still loves me and wants to get back with me.

just look how well it all went last time, how happy you were, the fabulous prospects of a long and happy life together with the man of everyone's dreams.....

Seriously? Why would you even contemplate this??

He's violent and has assaulted people and you're thinking of getting back with him? Even worse, you're canvassing for opinions on the internet? I think you know the answer, but I'm going to add something, go and get some help with your self esteem, as it's clearly somewhere near the floor if you think that this loser is the best you can manage.

Of course he hadn’t changed. What a load of codswallop.

Yes, you’d be insane.

What could possibly go wrong?

Answer....everything.

Plenty of men cock out there love. No need to stick with a violent one.

Yes mad, even to contemplate.
You deserve soooooo much better.

Do not do this, I refuse to meet SIL BF as he has been jailed for violence. He has apparently changed, I think he is currently managing himself but I would never trust him. I grew up with an incredibly violent stepfather, my tolerance to violence is zero.

He has already shown you what he can be like, why does it matter is he loves you. Work on yourself please and have nothing to do with him.

I didn't find it quite right that you were talking about what he wants and not what you want? It's very passive. So you'll go back to him at a click of his fingers without any thought of your own?

I do actually think that some people can change, but if they have a trigger which leads them down the same pattern how will they control themselves in future? Have they fully addressed it?

I was wondering if I should get back with him because he said he still loves me and wants to get back with me.

You sound very passive. What do YOU want? Do you trust him? Do you forgive him? If yes, based on what?