When did you get to that "ooh the kids are in bed are I can crack open the wine" stage?

[LiltTime]

I have an 8 month old DD and she now has a fairly predictable bedtime but we are still on quite unpredictable nights and very early wakings.

I was just reading another thread where a few posters commented how once the kids are in bed they're looking forward to Strictly and wine and to be honest that sounds like heaven to me. At this stage though I never feel I can switch off once she's in bed as she could be awake an hour or so later needing resettling etc.

At what stage do you get to the point where you can relax once they're in bed? I know they're all different but when did it happen for you, (if ever!)

I have a pop-up child
That wouldn't stop me from having a drink once he's had a couple of rounds of excuses to come down, but I'm not bothered about doing it often.

I started drinking again while still BFing. As a slow, light drinker, I wasn't worried about getting drunk or affecting the quality of my milk, and it was occasional anyway.

I don't think I did when they were babies, a bit older and reliability sleeping through the night I think. I don't think 1 glass will do any harm though if you want.

It's up to you. I liked to stay in the can get them to hospital if it was needed camp, just not going mad.

About day 1? Don't get me wrong, my kids were up and down like Jack-in-the-boxes, but if I'd have waiting until bedtime was bedtime, I'd have waited until they were 7 and 4. (their current ages, BTW, and admittedly I can enjoy my wine in much more peace now).

I've literally just got to that stage and it's bliss. LO wakes once at 4/5 and then back down until 7 so my Saturday night treat is a few wines. Still in bed by 10 but it's wonderful for a few hrs!

My oldest was 1 and my youngest 4 months when I got to that stage with each of them. They’re 2 and 3 now and we have every evening to chill, it’s bliss. Hang in there it’ll come!

What now? We're supposed to wait until they're in bed?

Only joking. I think once they slept reliably through the evening we risked a drink or two. They are 2 and 5 now and we still never get drunk but would usually have a couple of drinks on Saturday evening.

About 6 months. I was lucky mine were great sleepers. Now DD8 stays up til 8.30 and 9 pm at the weekend so it doesn't really seem worth having a drink most of the time. I do have the odd one when she's still awake.

From the minute we came home from hospital 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t get me wrong me and dh don’t get pissed but we have a couple of glasses.

Never really got the “what if there was an emergency and you needed to take them to hospital” argument. It’s a what if, do people really live life based on ifs and buts?

Oddly enough for me it was the heaven it sounded like when they were very young, but as it was more convenient and feasible, i kind of lost my desire to do it. I think for me it was because I went from being a bit of a party girl (out almost every night to all hours) to being a pregnant home body, then a new mom who desperately missed that freedom of being carefree and out drinking with friends. As i settled more into my role, I started feeling like it wasn't worth it to have a few and then feel at anything less than 100% later that night or the next morning. I started craving peace, sleep and rest much more because I realized that i never got a day off or even a guaranteed hour off.

So after such a long rant lol, I'd say whenever you want is fine, as long as you aren't getting sloshed. I don't think a couple glasses of wine would really be a huge deal if you need to rock a baby back to sleep in the middle of the night. May even be enjoyable, after all, my wise old great aunt used to say that you can't drink to make yourself happy, but if you're all ready happy a drink or two can make you feel happier.

Around 4 months actually, once there was a reliable 'go to bed' time and DS wasn't downstairs with us all the time.

Although we would take it in turns to be 'on call' if he woke up at that age - he would definitely wake at least once in the evening, but waving DH off to deal with it was bliss.

Telly choice was also down to the on call person so they didn't have to pause when the other one was dealing with the waking!

when I had 3. however i was never a drinker bar my binge drinking times in my teens but not one to have a glass in the evening. so they quite literally drove me to drink

About 8 or 9 months when she started reliably sleeping through. I’m not much of a drinker so it’s usually collapse in front of Strictly with a cup of tea though!

Since having kids I have preferred to have my wine at dinner time - we usually eat between 5 and 6, and I often enjoy the odd glass with my meal. Once DS is in bed it's often 8.30/9pm and I'm just too knackered or I just want a decaff or peppermint tea. DD is a newborn so no proper bedtime as yet but again I have had a couple of glasses of wine since she came along and I had them at dinner time, enjoy it much more then as I'm in bed as soon as she finally finished her cluster feeding!

I am aware my DS goes to bed late though, if he was down by 7 that might be a different story!

As soon as we got home the hospital to enjoy a glass of wine! But I think you’re talking more about the kids sleeping reliably and you get your evenings back stage? That for us was about 4 months old when she started going to sleep at 7pm and consistently sleeping through.

At 4 months DS started to get irritable after 7pm downstairs because of the light and we had to run out the next day and get a video monitor.

From that day on I'd put him up at 7, and have a glass of wine downstairs with the monitor at my elbow until the 11pm feed. It felt heavenly.

It was 4 years before I had an unbroken night's sleep as I had 2 back to back. And there were plenty of time that things like Strictly and Poldark etc were ruined and I could have wept with frustration. But honestly it got easier in time.

It's brilliant at the moment - we have 11 hours repreive from 8pm.

Am rather dreading the teen years where they disapprove of our wine!

Oh God, immediately. Although for the first six months or so when she was still potentially waking at night we wouldn't both have a drink. And even now one of us will stay sober enough just in case. But I'm very lucky - DD has always been a pretty reliable nightime sleeper and at the moment she goes up at 6.30pm and doesn't wake up until 7.30/8amish

I BF until DS was 16 months so I'd say about the 18month mark.

I don't really drink and neither does DP, but once DD (7mo) is in bed at 6.30, she's unlikely to wake again before her night feed between 2 and 4, and if she does it only takes a few seconds to resettle her, so once she's asleep, I'm in 'relax' mode. In my case, it's usually just a cup of tea and Netflix!

Not much of a drinker, but from 7 months when she slept through. I couldn’t relax before then.

Still not there, 2 kids and 6 years in. Even a glass of wine turns me in to an evil, swearing nasty woman if I'm woken in the night (which is almost every night) , I can't stand it. So for the sake of my nearest and dearest, I'm sober for the time being.

I have never waited until he was in bed

No idea. Mine are 3, autistic and barely sleep. I can count on my two hands how many drinks I’ve had in the last 3 years. It’s just not worth it as it’s so much harder to get up!

It gets bettter! By 18months my children were all very reliable but much better from 12monthsish.