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Original poster

I wish I knew this when my children were younger

60 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 20/09/2019 22:13

No matter how old your children get, they will still make you laugh, surprise you with how clever they are, make you want to burst with pride and all that lovely stuff that makes you want to squeeze them tight when they are little.

I really loved having toddlers. So much that I’m a childminder, I think they are wonderful. And as my own children grew I worried that I would lose that wonder, that connection, that awe and amazement at how special my children were.

You don’t. I have two teens and a pre teen now. They make me proud everyday, I love listening to their stories, I wonder how they know so much and became so kind. Even though they no longer fit on my laps, I get the warmest hugs.

Honestly, I wish I knew that having older children was as joyful and rewarding as having little ones, I wouldn’t have worried. I know I shouldn’t have, but you always think life is going too fast and that the best years are behind us. They aren’t.

Now I worry about them leaving home instead and empty nest syndrome Grin

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 20/09/2019 23:00

Oh yes definitely. Mine are 15 and 12 and I love this time so much. It's so much easier to parent them now (I never have to shout anymore!) and they are so funny and such lovely people. There are some tough times of course but mainly I am enjoying this stage much more than when they were little.

DramaAlpaca · 20/09/2019 23:04

What a lovely post, OP.

I'd just like to confirm that these wonderful feelings continue as they grow up. Mine are in their 20s now & I can confirm it's still just as joyful & rewarding being their mother. They are amazing young people & I'm so proud of them.

Jellybeansincognito · 20/09/2019 23:05

Thank you for this, it’s exactly what I needed to read!

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Saracen · 20/09/2019 23:07

Yes, it took me many years to realise that they just get better and better.

I loved each stage so much that I was sure I'd feel bereft when it was over. But then the next stage is also fantastic.

Teens MUST be the best though. (My two are teens now!)

Rachelover60 · 20/09/2019 23:09

That's really heartwarming.

Kummerspeck · 20/09/2019 23:12

You all have a lot to look forward to! Grin
Mine are 31, 29 and 26. All of them still make me glow and burst with pride. Their learning achievements, their jobs, their weddings and now their babies - amazing!

puppymouse · 20/09/2019 23:13

This is very reassuring for me OP.

DD is 5 and is obsessed with being on me, near me or wrapped around me. Nobody else seems to be quite enough. It's exhausting.

And yet I tell myself (and her jokingly sometimes) that soon she'll reach an age when she's embarrassed to be seen with me, won't want to cuddle me or spend time with me.

She refuses to believe me now. Your post has given me hope she might be right Smile

MeggyMeg · 20/09/2019 23:15

Just my teen who's a self centred arsehole then. I struggle to get a grunt out of her let alone a reason to make me smile. Blush

Enko · 20/09/2019 23:31

Today I took my no 2 to University and as I squeezed her tightly before I left I felt that awe of amazement that this wonderful young woman is my daughter who I helped shape and create..

So op I would say that sensation never stops the awe and amazement over your wonderful child continued. (worried sick she will be homesick/drink too much/forget to do stuff but I also know she has got this and can do it - she is amazing)

itwaseverthus · 20/09/2019 23:32

I was slightly dreading the teen years as I remember my dsis and I giving our dm and df the hardest of times. Turns out, my cute and lovely ds toddler has morphed in to the sweetest, kindest, most loving 15 year old I could have dreamed of.

Lovely to read your words op.

ladyflower23 · 20/09/2019 23:35

Thank you for sharing this. Mine are primary age and I worry about this stage being over and them not being my loving babies anymore. I can no longer fit the big one on my lap but the lovely conversations we have and the way he smiles at me makes up for it. Thank you for helping me to look forward to the next stage.

stoneagemum · 20/09/2019 23:36

Even when they leave they still amaze you, and you don't have to nag them over dirty dishes/shoes left lying around/ clean up after them

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 20/09/2019 23:53

I agree, OP. Every stage in their lives has been wonderful in a different way, and now my older sons are about to leave school, they constantly surprise me with how much better they are in every way than anything I could have done on purpose!
My 17 year old still holds my hand (in public!) so I'm hopeful that they will never grow out of showing affection for their old mum.

Serin · 20/09/2019 23:55

Lovely post.
I remember crossing the road in London with DS1 (then aged about15) I hesitated a couple of times in busy traffic and he got hold of my hand and said "it's ok Mum I've got this".
They just get better and better!

GothMummy · 21/09/2019 00:01

My DS is nearly 14 and absolutely lovely. Helpful, supportive, kind and interesting. I do get very sad thinking that soon he will leave home and be gone, and it's all going so fast.

DodgeRainClouds · 21/09/2019 00:03

Thank you for posting this! My two are 5 and 7 and it’s going so fast. I worry I’m not appreciating them enough.

BeverlyGoldbergsHairAndJumpers · 21/09/2019 00:05

I adore my teenagers. They are so bright and funny and they make me feel so happy. I love it that they still make time for me - their old mum 😊

Mumski45 · 21/09/2019 00:16

Wholeheartedly agree. I have 2 DS's 13 and 11 and to be honest I have no desire to turn the clock back at all. They make me proud everyday and I know they still need me. Still get hugs everyday in between the tired grumpiness. 😀

JockTamsonsBairns · 21/09/2019 00:19

I'm a bit different to you Op in as much as I didn't like the toddler years much. But I still love your sentiment - i actually loved the teenage years with my eldest two! It was remarkably pain-free, and I loved getting to know them as young adults. I'm incredibly proud of how they've turned out, and it's a pleasure to spend time with them.
I have a 12yo DS who's shaping up to be every bit as wonderful as his older siblings - he's got a fantastic sense of humour, is interested in the world around him, and I'm thoroughly enjoying bringing him up.
To balance things a little, I also have a 10yo DD who is challenging, boundary-pushing, feisty and emotional - I love her to bits, but I'm growing quite scared of what the teenage years might bring 😬.

HoppingPavlova · 21/09/2019 00:57

Just my teen who's a self centred arsehole then. I struggle to get a grunt out of her let alone a reason to make me smile.

Nope, not just you. Mine were a mixture. Doesn’t seem to be related to parenting (for the smug ones who think they are award worthy), seems more about how they, as individuals react to hormones, changing brain chemistry, synapses coming together etc. Some adolescents have it easier than others. For some it’s all a bit much and even an intermittent grunt is challenging. The enormous changes mean that for a period some parts of their brain really do revert to a toddler state due to rewiring etc, hence very poor decision making skills etc for some. In my experience, while you get the odd one who is lucky the majority are also selfish arseholes at that point. They come out of it, some later than others.

Poppins2016 · 21/09/2019 01:04

Thank you. My DS is almost 1 and I feel as though time is going too fast. I keep telling him to 'stay small' and I just want to soak up these precious baby days. It's reassuring to know that the next stages are just as amazing (deep down I knew they would be, but it helps to have reassurance as we rapidly approach his birthday and the end of 'small' babyhood!).

PapayaCoconut · 21/09/2019 01:14

Thank you SO much for this, OP. I know my parents definitely didn't like (or maybe even love) me very much during the tween/teen years and I certainly didn't feel lovable so I sometimes worry about this. (But they weren't great parents and too preoccupied with their own issues to care about me, so maybe that's why...)

octoberfarm · 21/09/2019 01:18

I needed this. Thank you, OP Smile

yesteaandawineplease · 21/09/2019 07:32

I love this post. thank you for sharing op. it's good to know now I'm slowly getting past the baby stage 😍

Widdendream77 · 21/09/2019 07:41

Thank you so much op and pp for this reassurance. I have an only who’s almost six and we would dearly love another but have had recurrent miscarriages so I think it’s never going to happen now. A big part of the sadness is the feeling I am loosing the special times and stages as she grows and will never experience it again but this gives me hope for each evolution of our relationship Smile