How do you switch off from emotionally demanding jobs

[Itsjeremycorbynsfault]

Average week at work this week but has involved supporting clients who are suicidal, are sectioned, homeless, fleeing domestic abuse, disclosures of rape, child safeguarding concerns, clients at high risk of death, chronic substance misuse, hospital visits, being here there and everywhere in the community, sitting with people who are just broken.

It's Friday, I'm sat on my sofa and I feel absolutely drained and tearful.

For those of you who work in emotionally demanding roles, how do you take care of yourself and switch off from it all?

I work in a team that supports each other fully in and out of the workplace. I couldn’t do it if it weren’t for them. I also make time to look after myself properly and make myself a priority. I walk the 3 miles home after work as gentle exercise helps and I can clear my head by the time I get to the front door. I sew, crochet and knit. I garden. I have a dog and I’m always planning. The next holiday, the next weekend together, the house, stuff to do with the kids.

I'm not sure if you can switch off if you are a caring person.
I am only able to switch off now as I am completely burnt out and am now able to walk out of work and leave it there. Outside of work I don't think about work.
I hope you don't get to that stage. I would consider having counselling at regular stages. I think that is essential in our jobs.

I think you have to throw everything at relaxing and switching off. There’s already some great advice here. In the end, if your job impacts on your wellbeing too much, leave, life is too short. 💐

As a result of an abusive childhood I have been good at having everything in compartments. In all honesty that helps.

Years ago, a boss told me that they used their commute home to decompress. She would muse work until she go to a certain point in her journey. When she got there she made the effort to stop going over things. After practise it became easier. So I also do that. It's at the point I pick ds up from afterschool club. I might have work in my mind getting therem but as soon as I get to afterschool club I stop. I do need to distract myself sometimes but that's easier once ds is with me. I concentrate on how his day has been and chatting to him.

Then we get in and do tea, bath relax together, bed. Once he is in bed I start doing something I enjoy for me. Usually dp will run me a bath, I read or mn. Then we watch TV and catch up.

I have also said that if when I finish work for the day, if I know I have dont the best I can and am happy with how I have acted, then I have to accept that I have done what I can.

Transitional object. When I've worked in very stressful jobs I've had something from work that I put down as I come through the door such as a pass or work keys and that marks the boundaries of work time and home time.

Supervision.

Journaling.

Something creative.

Pets.

Compartmentalisation.

Work is work - you've already made a difference just by being there for them during your working hours, rather than their having to experience it all without somebody there. The moment you walk out of the door, it's your time. I brush my hair and change my shoes just before I leave. I don't 'need' to, but it reinforces that I'm now on my time.

Switch off on the way home. Listen to music, stare out of the window, put noise cancelling headphones on with no music, whatever it takes to change what you hear.

Going to the gym/pool on the way home helps me when I can do it.

In any case, when you get in, take your shoes off, get changed/have a shower with the bathroom lights off/lay down in a darkened room for twenty minutes, anything that makes that switch from work to home.

And then, do what you want - I play games on my phone that require zero intellectual input, disappear down YouTube rabbit holes, joined a choir, watered plants, talked to DP.

Your employer might have a confidential support programme where you can access counselling if you need to vent/Talk about the effect clients' experiences/reactions to you had upon you.

When you can feel the 'I'm not at work' sensation, it makes getting good quality sleep more likely, too. You can't beat a reasonable night's sleep.

Do you have a commute home? I drive to and from work which takes 25-30 minutes so I listen to podcasts to help me switch off then come home and have a shower (I prefer a night time shower to a morning one if I’ve been working) and I find that helps me to switch off.

Sometimes though there are particularly hard days that are really difficult to switch off from.

Compartmentalise. I learned at a young age that work was work and stayed where it should unless I chose to think about or discuss it outside of those times.
If you take on the emotions of difficult or sad situations you can’t provide the objective support needed and will burn out. You should empathise rather than assume the sadness you have no particular right to. A child dying is beyond sad but the grief belongs to the family and not the team caring for them. The team’s job is to understand the grief and support the family.
Teams working in such challenging environments should have debriefing after particularly difficult occurrences, access to supervision and access to counselling.

Online Scrabble or jigsaws. They require concentration and help empty the mind. Or a bath and a good book.

Self care is so important. Find the time for yourself.

There is nothing immoral or uncaring about being able to switch off. Someone who lies awake at night worrying about the people on their caseload isn't actually helping those people by doing that. Being able to switch off, forget for a bit, live a life outside work - all make a more resilient worker in the long term. It's only if you find yourself switching off while you're at work that you need to worry.

Wow, so many great replies. Thank you to all posters, there has been some really useful tips and advice. I'm going to request a supervision next week.

I particularly like the idea of having something tangible to signify the end of the working day. I will start leaving my work phone on my desk at the end of the week. Although I don't turn it on over the weekend, it's still in my bag which I suspect reminds me of work without me even thinking about it.

I'm usually pretty level headed, however yesterday evening I was feeling a tad overwhelmed by it all.

Thanks agai!

It’s also okay to feel overwhelmed and distressed at times- you are only human. Having no reaction/emotional response at all would be even more concerning. Sounds like you’ve got lots of good ideas so hope they help.

I treat people with cancer and regularly tell people bleak news
It takes a toll and working out effective ways to deal with the associated feelings is imperative
I run or cycle home, change my clothes when I get in and morph into mummy as otherwise I’d bed a pretty shit wife and mother