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Original poster

How many people can you vent to?

21 replies

Prettypumpkin · 20/09/2019 11:40

Not sure where to post this but..

How many people can you vent to? Like close enough friends and you know they won't tell a soul?

My best friend of 15yrs is the person I want to spill everything out to but twice in those 15 years she has got me into trouble by repeating something I've said and its come back on me so while I know she is hugely sorry I find it so hard to trust she'll keep quiet.

My other best friends, I love them but they love to gossip and because of the tight knit community we live in I never feel like I can moan to them as they might tell someone who they didn't realise is close to the other person.

Just to be clear I'm not a massive meaner, just every now and again someone in particular does something that really upsets me and I've no where to get it off my chest. My husband is minimally supportive, he tells me that this person is totally in the wrong but hes a proper peace keeper and wouldn't ever say anything publicly. Hes not interest in listening to me vent but I feel like I've got so much bubbling up

I'm also not much of a gossip when it comes to other people, lots of people tell me things in confidence and I've never told anyone but i really struggle to do the same as i feel like my friends won't keep a secret.

Have i just got terrible friends? Please don't be too hard on me I'm feeling very anxious atm

OP posts:

Benefitofthedoubt · 20/09/2019 11:45

Interesting question.

I have one definite, my sister, who I have spilled most things to in the past. And vice versa.

I have a couple of friends who I KNOW would help me out, either listen or help me escape or anything! But they are untested and I have no idea whether they would tell others. Maybe they would.

Benefitofthedoubt · 20/09/2019 11:46

Why are you anxious? Can you talk here?

CarolineKate · 20/09/2019 11:46

I vent to my mum. My husband tries to fix things which annoys me lol. Whenever I vent to a friend I end up regretting it.

Original poster

Prettypumpkin · 20/09/2019 12:24

Thanks for the replies

I cant talk to my mum, she'd offer terrible suggestions and get annoyed with me if I didn't take her advice to fix things

I'm anxious because I've done nothing wrong yet someone is making out I have and this person has a lot of sway with certain family members yet if I try to fight my corner I end up looking a dick. My husband agrees shes got a good way of making me look stupid and I shouldn't react but again I've done nothing wrong so I dont want others thinking I have

It's all so juvenile and I hate drama. I cried yesterday and I've been on the verge today but no where to vent. I'm seeing a friend soon who I'd love to trust but worry shed tell her husband and then hed tell his brother who is best friends with the person is questions husband. Again it's so school yard, it wouldn't be worth a councellors time but I cant relax

OP posts:

SamBeckett · 20/09/2019 12:37

Only my DB, and though we are very close some family things I would rather not say to him.
That is why I joined MN in the first place as I needed to talk to someone about my DH

TravellingSpoon · 20/09/2019 12:40

I know that I can tell my best friend anything. She is so supportive and I know it will never get any further.

Same with my oldest friend, although I am more selective of what I tell her for some reason.

FAQs · 20/09/2019 12:40

No one, friends tend to moan, cry, message, phone me for support when needed and don’t hear from them in between each crisis. If I have an issue it tends to turn into a support session for them.

CarysRed · 20/09/2019 12:41

Only my mum really. She just lets me vent and doesn’t try to solve my problems

StormBaby · 20/09/2019 12:42

Nobody. I have no siblings, no parents, no close friends.

caperplips · 20/09/2019 12:49

My husband is my number one person to vent to in all instances.
I would never dream of venting about him to other people and he wouldn't about me either. Of course, this would all change if something serious happened like he was unfaithful, etc but we have been lucky enough for this not to be an issue.

For other stuff - work / friendships I feel very fortunate to have 4 friends that I can 100% rely on and vice versa. And I also have my sister for family stuff.

I would not dream of sharing stuff like that with my parents, especially my mother as she and I are too different and she doesn't understand me at all.

Original poster

Prettypumpkin · 20/09/2019 20:15

Thank you for the replies.

I dont need to vent to others about my husband thankfully, hes a star in general but not a massive talker.

How do people with no one to talk to deal with things? I've felt like a boiling pan full of emotion

I did vent to my friend a little today which gave me some relief but then I've worried since that something horrible will come back on me

It's odd, I've got 5 really good friends who I consider my best friends but I just cant let my guard down

OP posts:

Whatsyournameagain · 20/09/2019 20:18

Absolutely no one. I’ve been let down too many times by people I thought I could trust, so I don’t bother now. That’s the way it’s been for years, I’m used to it.

SamBeckett · 20/09/2019 21:16

When DB wasn't around my Ddog was always a very good listener and the soul of discretion.

Monday55 · 20/09/2019 21:21

3 friends (been friends over 15yrs, since school), my sister (she's 1 year older) and my Dh.. I vent more to DH as I see him everyday.

darkriver19886 · 20/09/2019 21:21

I have one person I can really speak to and I pay her £40 a week for it. My therapist has been excellent at just being a sounding board for my venting and frustration.

iklboo · 20/09/2019 21:22

Three - DH & two friends

Stormwhale · 20/09/2019 21:27

I have probably 4 out of my friends that I could vent to in confidence, or my mum or husband. Mum is a good listener, but my husband doesn't talk back enough to make me feel 100% better. I like someone to join me in my outrage at whatever the problem is! . Only one of those 4 is a best friend, as my other best friend is a terrible gossip. I love her to bits, but I wouldn't share something that I desperately needed to keep secret with her.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 20/09/2019 21:28

My husband and my 2 closest female friends.

Am very lucky!

daisydoooo · 20/09/2019 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mehmehmeh19 · 20/09/2019 21:42

My sister
My best friend
My daughter she's 18 not a little one as long as it's not related to her dad I wouldn't like to put her in that position.
And my husband

Mehmehmeh19 · 20/09/2019 21:44

Oh and the best pair of ears I have for venting my darling dog

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