Hi,
Hoping to get everyones perspectives on some issues I'm having with my partner.
We've been together 10 years since we were 20, now 30.
We live together and do have a lovely life, lots of holidays, social activities and enjoy our time together. However I do have issues with social anxiety and depression and at the beginning of the year I went back to University and have really been suffering with the pressure which has resulted in anxiety.
Around the same time my partner borrowed some money for a holiday we had planned, then he had to borrow a little more, then a little more and before I knew it he owed me £800. I know he will pay my back I'm not worried I'll never see it again, he has a fairly well paid job but I have struggled with not feeling as though he really appreciates it. I don't like how blasé he is and acts as though it's not a big deal when the reality is the money has really stressed me out as he hasn't been consistently paying me back.
I think the stress of worrying about the money has caused me to maybe have less time for him? Its sort of changed the dynamic in our relationship and I don't like feeling like he doesn't take seriously responsibility and relies on 'everything working itself out' when I am a real planner/organised.
We recently had a huge argument as I have gone back onto anti anxiety meds to help get through this episode and don't feel as though I am getting the necessary support from him. All he's done is pretend everything is ok, won't talk to me and instead tell me how hard it is for him. I know it's hard for him but at the moment I can't take anymore stress, I feel like we should be concentrating getting me back to well before we deal with how it's making him feel.
I'm struggling that he won't seem to accept the money pressure he's put on me has been a contributing factor to my recent episode, it's definitely not 100% to do with that but I do think it's unfair that he won't accept it has played a part. And now to add insult to injury he's decided that even though we've been talking about getting married and pregnant for 2 years he doesn't think he wants to anymore. Because he said he's not sure he will be able to handle the way I am for the rest of his life.
I guess I just feel a bit unsupported but would like to hear if anyone maybe has some perspective from the other side or any advice.
Thanks everyone :)