Anyone else’s y1 kid a punching screaming ball of emotion now they’re back at school?

[Floraljug]

Anyone else’s child --being a little shit-- really emotional and angry after school?!

DC (who is an absolute dream in the school holidays / weekends) punches, screams, tantrums, cries when I say no to literally anything. He’s nearly 6!

He says he doesn’t like school. It’s not a bullying problem (it doesn’t sound like when I ask him lots of questions), I don’t know if this is normal after-school behaviour for some 6-yr-olds...

He’s not more tired than usual (doesn’t matter if I put him to bed early, he always falls asleep at about 8), but he’s an emotional wreck!

Anyone? Or just mine?

Yes! DD was lovely all the way through the holidays, 2 weeks back at school and she's a bloody nightmare, every night, without fail.

My very emotionally stable nearly 6 year old has had a lot of meltdowns recently. Very reassuring to hear it's happening to other children! I think he's worse than he was last year starting reception. Doesn't help the pressure to do reading and spellings is on already. Poor babies. Hopefully they'll get into the swing of it soon.

Yep, every new academic year after the euphoria of being back at school DD has a complete meltdown! She's a little shit in terms of behaviour and then breaks down in tears, a couple of days later she's fine again.

Year 1 can be a heck of jump from reception. A loss of free play and down time means that even if they can cope academically there's much less processing time to emotionally regulate. If you look at what we can expect of 6 year olds emotionally and what we actually do expect of them 5 days a week there's a massive mismatch.

My inset training day in executive functioning skills is partly why I left teaching. I couldn't in good conscience be part of the problem when my job was meant to be part of the solution.

My ds struggled big time with the transition from reception to yr 1 last year. I think it's a big change for them, the whole structure is a lot different from reception where learning is mostly play based.
By half term he'd mostly come to terms with the reality of school life and was a lot better. Hope this phase passes quickly for you too.

Yep my year 1 is s nightmare.

The transition to year 1 is tough. All the year are complaining about no play during lessons.

I try to get them into the park after school with lots of snacks, that seems to help.

And no questions about school! 😂

Yep. My 5.6yo was super excited to be back at school for the first 2 days then he was on some sort of come-down. Lots of cuddles sorted him out. He's not keen on doing maths every morning which he loved doing in foundation. They sure know how to kill a love of subject instantly.

Ahh this is really reassuring!

But also agree - schools expect too much of them. It’s not schools’ fault, they didn’t design the system.

Honestly, though - watching a very stable, happy, easy-going child turn into a full on brat is both really frustrating and really sad. (he’s been biting, punching, screaming st nothing. I haven’t been telling him off much because I think it’ll make it worse )

Does anyone know when this will end?!?

Or have any coping strategies! Like the suggestion of the park and no questions about school! (I ask a loooot of questions about school - to understand why he’s so changed!)

Yes.
Transition to year 1 is extremely difficult for many children. I've taught year 1 for 9 years and parents have always spoken to me about how awful their childs behaviour has been at home in the autumn term.

Now I get to experience it first ha d at home

Another one here! DD has found the jump from reception to year 1 challenging. Her first week back she just was not herself at all, she seemed to struggle with the transition from lots of learning through play to more structured lessons. She’s more herself this second week so hoping she’ll settle soon.

Oh yes last year my child was a screaming hitting tantrum mess at start of the year 1. He has struggled with behaviour at home at the start of each term since but the start of year one was dreadful. Holding it together trying to listen and sit still and take it all in with less free play involved a meltdown after. He has struggled a bit this week and last at start of year 2 with a return to hitting tantrum. But much less than last year.

I've found not asking about school until wind down time in the evening after he's had a chance to process and burn off energy and chill. Normally I then get a tumble stream of its unfair about xyz or I can't do xyz or I'm too slow. But if I ask him anything earlier I get a lot of "dunno"s. If I do silly guesses like "I bet you had spiders for lunch" I'm more likely to get noooo I had sausages than if I say what did you have for lunch "dunno".

Other things that helped was an angry scale we did together about what helps when he's a little bit cross and what helps when he's a bit crosser and what helps when he's hulk to help him recognise it and remind me to try and intervene earlier with distraction or something active.

But mostly it settled fairly quickly. Hope it does for you to

My boy has gone into year 2 and it’s worse than year 1. His anxiety is through the roof, and he is lashing out at everyone. Last year he had spellings like he, she and we. Week 2 of year 2 and spellings this week are cy words. Bicycle, Cyclone and cylinder are my personal favourite, “wtf he is only 6”, words. my god the meltdowns he is having at trying to learn them! Spelling test tomorrow!!

Let’s just hope by half term all the kids get back to normal.

Mine is an emotional wreck all the time anyway. Sigh.

@Fucket
Just wait until the SATs prep kicks in

My 6yo is in year 2 and has been having nightly meltdowns for the last week and a half. She’s exhausted but won’t sleep in or go to sleep early despite us trying!

My dd is reception class age but is in year one this year along with a couple of other reception class age children at her school, so they have done a big jump from nursery class straight to year one, me and some of the parents of the other children were talking about all our children's behaviour since starting this term too the other day, what I've found works is distracting my dd from whatever she is complaining or fussing about on our walk home and have found her falling asleep not long after getting home something she never did last year so Ive been letting her have a little nap if she has fallen asleep before we have dinner and been getting her to bed a little earlier, makes me sad to think school has exhausted her so much knowing she has a very good night sleep and it's exhausted her so much she's irritable and naggy and wants to moan about the silliest of things all evening and not up for a chat with her mum,
Hoping in time though she will adjust to the new class and it won't take it out of her so much

Glad I'm not alone. My daughters just started year 1 and is like a different child. She's an emotional wreck about the most minor details. She wakes up in a mood and comes home absolutely shattered but not wanting to go to bed any earlier. She moans and argues about the most minute things! Hoping it will calm down in a few weeks.

Yes!!! I thought it was a first term in Reception thing. But DD is FERAL in the evenings at the moment.

She is by nature a sunny, compliant child but the other night she was in such a screaming rage I ended up holding her in my lap in a cross between a massive cuddle and a human straitjacket hold. Every time she bellowed at me to let go I calmly and quietly said no, and continued to hold her. She calmed down in a couple of minutes. But Jesus. At least it concerns me less than the first few times it happened last year.

Yep, but her dad is taking the brunt of it for once. We had a parents session with her teacher after school today, who was saying how much she apprecuates what a stress so many small changes can be for 5 year olds- different snack time, different toilet lay out, different playground. It all adds up.

Mine both struggled with the move from yR to y1, particularly the loss of time to play and increase in writing. It turns out that the oldest has SpLDs affecting his literacy, although I wouldn't be surprised if DS2 is affected to a milder extent.

The whole term around SATs was our lowest point. School tried to keep it low key, but DS had interventions which made his day longer and more tiring. His record meltdown was 4 hours before he was calm enough to speak civilly to me again. He got himself stewed up that y3 would be even worse, but it was actually a lot better once he settled into it. He was in a fragile state from April y2 to October y3, more than our usual termly cycles.

Hoping that y2 take two is easier this time round...

Yep my Year 2 six year old DTs are both a nightmare. DT1 has always been a little ray of sunshine, very chilled and smiley. He’s currently a shouty nightmare who dissolves into tears at the drop of a hat. DT2 has always been...er...volatile. He’s like volcano of rage at the moment.

It is a relief that it’s not just mine. I expected this last year (as that’s what my oldest was like) but it didn’t come. Now it’s here with a vengeance!

Wow! I am so relieved he’s not alone! I had been worrying there was something really bad going on at school!

He was a bloody nightmare for hours and hours last night - I’m emotionally exhausted! He has been saying there isn’t enough time to play, and too much time learning...

I jinxed myself commenting on this thread. Last night was the worst I've ever seen her, and when it all calmed down it seemed she was upset about thinking she'd made a (minuscule) mistake at school. Roll on the weekend!