Has anyone had a baby who really hated being cuddled?

[NoDontLookAtMeImShy]

Or kissed?
Even when he hurts himself he's crying and pushing me away.
He's been like this since he was tiny, fucking HATES being cuddled or kissed. Would never snuggle in to sleep or lay his head on my shoulder or endure being embraced in any way.

My other two kids were very cuddly babies this is odd to me.

He's 9 months.

How normal is this?

My DD was like this. Always hated the sling and was in a full size cot at 3 months as she liked the space!

She's 16mo and getting better, but still resists cuddles unless she's really tired, and she won't fall asleep in our arms. But she is very affectionate with her brother and us.

I just think she's very independent and likes her space... Nought wrong with that!

DD2 was like this as a baby. Just didn't want to be held too long and wanted her own space. She's now 8 and dangles off me whenever she can but is also very independent, opinionated and able to entertain herself and enjoys her own company.

Me, apparently I've always hated being cuddled or kissed, even writing it down makes me feel a bit (not envy)
But I'm NT

Me apparently, and my DD was the same. She didn't start wanting to be cuddled until she was about a year old, maybe even older. Now she loves a good cuddle!

Yes my eldest was like this. The opposite of a velcro baby!

I have an 8 month old like this. He doesn't mind being in a sling but he never cuddles, has slept in a cot bed since day one and only ever naps and sleeps in there now or very occasionally the pram. He's very happy and likes to sit on my lap and have me hold him standing, but he's just totally uninterested and far too busy for cuddling!

My first was like this. I thought I must be doing something terribly wrong. Now she is almost three and starting to realise that cuddles can be quite nice - she likes to snuggle into me if a cartoon is on and I'm also sat down. The second is very, very cuddly and sometimes, usually between the hours of 2 and 4am, I wish she wasn't so I think it's just a personality thing.

I haven’t got ones like that but I was one. Weaned myself as a 9 month old and never cuddled my mum again (according to her).

I like cuddles with my kids but no one else, not even DH.

I’m completely NY btw if that’s what’s bothering you.

NT not NY!

My DD2 was like that. Very independent as well, wanted to do everything herself, stubborn as hell. I used to say to DH that she was really easy to care for because all you had to do was let her do exactly what she wanted, all the time. Then at 4 and a half she suddenly became cuddly. It was awesome!

DC1 loved cuddles, the carrier, sleeping on us (and is autistic).

DC2 never did cuddles or falling asleep on us and such as a baby (and is also autistic), but from about 3yo became very affectionate, lots of hugs and kisses and likes to be with us.

DC3 (still a baby, so no idea if autistic or NT) loves cuddles, sleeping on us and so on.

So I think in all, it seems quite normal - some babies just don’t want that closeness as such. DC2 also disliked being swaddled and has never had a comfort toy (unlike DC1), DC2 just seems to want lots of space and independence! But as above, is very affectionate now.

My DD was like this at first, but there was an obvious cause: she was born 11 weeks premature so spent her first weeks in an incubator with minimal physical contact (too tiring). She was always happy to self-settle after that.

When she started nursery at 11 months, they commented that she wasn't very cuddly!

She is now 8 years old and loves her cuddles, but it was lovely to have a baby that self-settled!

My 6 yr old was not cuddley and now goes a bit stiff and formal if you try to be affectionate. A bit like his dad😂 My other 3 are cuddley enough but my littlest is like a little cuddle bear, he always leans in and snuggles in and hugs back. So so cute and affectionate. Sometimes (he’s 1.5) I’m carrying and see him staring at me in my arms and when I make eye contact he leans in and give me a gentle kiss then a big happy grin. He’s just so warm.

It’s nature mostly I think.

My now 14 month old is very like this: he will always push me away, even if he's crying or has hurt himself. It's odd though, because he is/was what I would call a Velcro baby, in that he always wants to be up in my arms if he sees me, but then immediately writhes away/wants to be down. A personality thing I think - very busy, and quite frustrated with the limitations of actually being a baby. I think he just wanted to be picked up and carried around so as to be 'doing' something. In fact, he would often writhe out of my arms to get over to someone else who seemed to be doing something a bit more interesting (my mum, usually, who would carry him around the garden like a king). He's getting a little more content to sit calmly in my lap for a few minutes/give kisses etc now that he can walk and thus carry himself around to the interesting things.

Sympathies, OP. I often feel very rejected :)

My ds (now a teenager!) was like this. He was my first so I beat myself up that I was a bad mum and because I had PND persuaded myself sometimes he didn't live me.
But now he is a strapping young lad and we have a great relationship. His idea of a hug is still very stiff with minimal body contact but he is very attached to us and his family and a lovely, caring boy. I wish I'd known!
My second DC was very snuggly and cuddly and still is as a tween. It's just their unique character.
I'm quite introvert myself and only like contact when I'm in the mood but am very happy on my own

My (apparently) NT DS1 hated cuddles or close contact; he particularly hated breastfeeding. I felt completely rejected.

My (possibly) autistic DS2 loved cuddles and close contact, and was very happy to breastfeed. We bonded far quicker.

Make of this what you will!!

Thank you!

He also doesn't particularly like breastfeeding and I often feel rejected.

@Happyspud my older kids were like that. 🥰

My ds was just like this. He was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3. He is very affectionate and enjoys cuddles now (on his terms!).

Yes, he’s now a 14yo who doesn’t like being cuddled. I have an 11yo limpet to compensate

My DS is and was exactly like this. Now age 8 he is being assessed for Autism.

My oldest Ds didn't like cuddles, he could stick his arms straight in front of him by 4 months old, if anyone holding him tried too cuddle close. I only got a cuddle as I was breastfeeding so eating was pretty important to him.
He didn't like a lot of motion either, and could stick his arm out to stop the baby swing by 6 months.
He has sensory issues things like textures of certain foods, and seams in his socks aren't tolerable.
Now he's an adult and has a partner and apparently she gets to ruffle his hair and hug him and tickle his feet.
She's a miracle worker.
My other kids curled in a ball on my knee and cuddled to my hearts content.

@NoDontLookAtMeImShy How is your son doing now?

I've just discovered there's a condition called tactile defensiveness, which includes pulling away from cuddles/kisses, and not liking seams/labels in clothes, walking on grass/sand, being amongst a crowd, textures in food, and a low pain threshold. All of which describes my dd to a 't' . It can be connected to ASD, which I've always suspected she has, but the professionals dismissed. I so wish I'd realised when she was younger.