Nervous about meeting a dog

[LightningOne]

I've never had pets as a child, nor been around any. The only dogs I've seen are the ones I pass by in the street. They often stare at me intensely, moving their head to keep staring at me as I walk past as well as often parking loudly and trying to jump up at me. This is true of almost every dog I've met, reinforcing my originally existing fear of them.

Now, my date really wants me to meet his dog (big staffordshire with pointy teeth that weighs nearly 60kg (heavier than me). This is kinda unavoidable and I can't keep avoiding them forever. He kinda said he'd could muzzle him for the first meet if I like but then said, that would make things worse as the dog is less likely to become comfortable around me if he has to be muzzled when we first meet.

I'm very anxious about being bitten, etc. especially as that dog can demolish dog toys into shreds within a few minutes.

Any advice?

Presumably you don't smell of Kibble? I am sure you won't get eaten op.
Our ddog prefers the ignore approach. Let the ddog come to you.

How long have you been dating him? Do you really need to meet this dog yet?
Ideally seek treatment for your extreme anxiety.

Yes, i would ignore him. It's how to get dogs to want to know you.
If you do eventually fuss him, rub behind the ears. Dogs are not keen on their heads being stroked

Ask to go for a walk with him holding the lead. If the dog is walking forwards then it’s less likely to jump up you. Then you can start to relax around him.
Then ask for some treats and make him sit and give him some treats.

Sit on a seat like a dining chair, not on a sofa where he can jump up next you, call him over and stroke him calmly.

Dogs pick up on nervousness so it may take a few meetings to get you to start relaxing around each other.

Go at the speed you are comfortable with.

Off topic but what kind of freaky staffie weighs 60kg!!!

That's 4 times the average weight for one...

They often stare at me intensely, moving their head to keep staring at me as I walk past
This is one of most ridiculous things I’ve read.
You don’t get 60kg staffies and all dogs have teeth 🙄

No Staffordshire weighs 60kg. A mastiff maybe?

Could you meet the dog behind a baby gate for the first time?

60kg must be a typo surely?

If you are really scared of dogs is this man worth it?
TBH your description of dogs staring you out on the street sounds a bit...paranoid. Perhaps you could seek some professional help before being in a room with a dog.

I imagine her fear is making the dog seem bigger, or it’s an American bulldog not a a
She’s asking for help with her dog fear, not sarcastic comments.

He won’t weight 60kg, more like 20kg... or 60lbs maybe!

Yes sorry it is a mastiff. I couldn't remember the exact dog breed he told me so wrote staffie but now you've mentioned it - it is a mastiff and does weigh 60kg.

@LochJessMonster Thank you xxx

If he’s anything like mine, he’ll be a big daft softy. First meeting should be a walk definitely not you going into his house.
You need to relax and not be nervous.

How well trained is the dog? Will he sit on command etc?

if youre actually scared of dogs, then probably not going to love a massive oversized mutant mastiff tbh. How long have you been dating? I can see this being an issue

How about joining your date on a dog walk? You could walk as close or as far away as you like until you feel comfortable.
Most mastiffs are quite calm and sweet dogs but it all depends on it's training and breeding.
I feel you would be better having a first meeting outside the dogs home. Even the friendliest dogs can bark when strangers enter their home and a mastiff bark would be loud and quite scary.

Good luck.

If you have a genuine phobia of dogs then no amount of 'don't be silly ' or 'it won't hurt you' comments are going to help. You will need to seek help to overcome it.

Hypnotherapy worked well for my fear of flying, still hate flying but can at least get through a plane trip now!

Dogs do pick up on fear - they are social animals and it makes them afraid to know that you are afraid. So try to keep calm.
Go for walks with your date and his dog (on lead) while you get used to him. He may be big but not aggressive.
When being still with the dog, look way, cross your arms and ignore dog.
(This will make the dog think that you are very important).
When you finally pet the dog, don't dab at him, rub his head and scratch behind his ears.
Dogs bite because are afraid, so don't scare him with screaming or panicing.
I have had dogs for 40 years, broken up many a fight and been bitten in consequence, it hurts but it is not the end of the world and you go and get a tetanus jab.

@Branleuse
oversized mutant mastiff tbh charming
@RedRiverHog
Please don’t make generalisations “a mastiff bark would be loud & scary” the bark has bugger all to do with size, my boys bark is silly and doesn’t match him, the collie sounds like a wolf.
It’s daft attitudes and presumptions that feeds fear and prejudices.

RedRiverHog has it. Go for a walk so there’s no direct interaction but you get to ‘meet’ the dog, see it play, but in a hopefully controlled manner and without you being directly involved.

I'd hold off meeting his for now and try and find a class for people who have fear of dogs. I went to one a few years ago and it changed things so much. It was with a dog trainer so there might be someone near you who could help you overcome that horrible fear. I'd break out in a sweat seeing a dog on the beach, for example, but now I don't bat an eyelid. I'm still cautious if I see a dog without its owner, but overall I'm much more relaxed around dogs. It's a horrible fear and I grew up with it. My mother was afraid of them so I reckon she instilled the fear in me. I didn't want that for my kids and thankfully none are afraid, though one has an allergy to dog hair (my valid excuse not to get a dog ourselves ). There's no point going to his house and standing there rigid with fear as the dog will sense it. Sort your fear first and then meet his dog.

Oh my 3kg chihuahua is friends with a mastiff we often see in the park, they play really nicely together. Yeah i had a slight squeaky bum moment when they first encountered each other but big fred is ever so gentle. Most dogs aren’t out to attack ppl you know op. Most owners of big dogs have them well trained as they don’t want to be knocked flying every time they come home or make a sandwich. I’m not saying shit owners/reactive dogs don’t exist at all, because duh. Most fears are unfounded and most dogs give lots of warning signs of being unhappy before they resort to attacking. There is lots of stuff about dog body language on the internet if anyone’s interested. I’ve studied it a lot because my dog is very small but he likes to play with other dogs, and so i watch really closely for any indication that either party’s had enough.

@bookworm4

To someone scared of dogs to the extent of worrying how they look at her as she passes them in the street, I'm still going to say the average mastiff in a house would sound scary when it barked.
Nothing to do with 'daft attitudes'. I would say the same about my own golden retriever.

I find dogs in the street are more inclined to look at you if you look at them first; it's as if they feel your eyes. Try walking past without looking at them.(Of course this won't help with your BF's dog)

I was wondering how a staffy can be 60kgs too. They're usually small to medium sized. Lovely, friendly dogs they are (as long as their owner is.)