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Would you reach out to her?

2 replies

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 18/09/2019 19:26

I’m going to have to be vague because the details are very outing but hypothetically:

A friend does something to you that really hurts you. You both argue and you are hurt and dumbfounded at what’s happened to your friendship, and don’t speak for a while. Because of friendship groups, you see her regularly but although she is the one that has wronged you - she is the one avoiding you, looks fragile, leaves the group when you approach, and other behaviour that you know is her anxiety causing her to behave erratically.

You know her well enough to know she is reacting like YOU were the aggressor because of her anxiety and you also don’t expect acknowledgment of what’s she done - despite saying to other friends that she knows she’s done.

Yet you can’t bear the situation. You want to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry when she sees you. That though there might not be a resolution or making up of the friendship, she doesn’t have to ostracise herself when you’re around.

Or would you just not bother and leave her to it?

Sorry if this is horribly vague. TLDR: someone wrongs you but is obviously miserable. You’re not ready to forget what happened but would you reach out to them to try and make things easier for them?

OP posts:
Chefwifelife · 18/09/2019 19:41

Oh OP what a situation. I’ve been in a similar one. I would say, if in your heart you know you are not at fault then your friend needs to deal with her own insecurities. You are not responsible for her happiness or unburdening her of her guilt over the way she has acted and treated you. Be kind to yourself first and foremost in this situation. Give it some time and then if you really want to try and save the friendship revisit how you feel. In my situation I finally stopped letting myself feel that I had done something wrong. I’ve let myself feel sad about how my “friend” really hurt me and have let the the friendship come to its natural end. Good luck.

Soola · 18/09/2019 19:57

Sounds like she enjoys playing the victim. If she had wronged me then I would smile at her discomfort.

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