How to stop myself from crying?

[UpsyDaisy77]

Does anyone else find it difficult to stop themselves from crying when they are having a hard time and someone asks if they are ok?

Currently having a really tough time at work, an older more senior man in my work is trying to bully me out of my job. This has been going on for a while but we have a new senior manager who has been completely taken in by him and his claims about me and I’m now really struggling. He has made many attempts to discredit me both directly and indirectly and I try and avoid speaking to him at all after a few incidents of him behaving aggressively to me.

I’ve become quite distressed about the whole situation, I’m finding it hard to sleep and eat and also keep it together emotionally in work. The last couple of days I’ve had to quickly take myself off to the toilets for a cry when I’ve found things too much and I feel like I’m constantly teetering on the edge emotionally. I’m avoiding speaking to my colleagues but a few of the nicer ones have asked if I’m ok and l have to almost run away before breaking down.

Why does people being kind make me so emotional? I know l need to get a grip and get angry and deal with the situation but right now l’m just looking for some coping strategies to keep it together? I have a mediation app which focuses my breathing and helps but it’s difficult to get an app out every time somebody is nice to me.
Any suggestions most welcome.

Pinching the fleshy bit inside of my thumb/finger works quite well. I read it somewhere years ago and found it did help.

I've rehearsed a few phrases I can use on autopilot, for when my lovely boss asks 'how are you, are you OK?' and my gut response is to burst into tears and go 'of course I'm bloody not' (parent dying).

If I don't think about it, I can just reply "just about, bit worried about X, anyway, let's change the subject'. Dealing with bullying at work is harder because obviously the problem is right there so harder to put out of your mind - good luck.

Oh my love, l posted something similar a few weeks ago. I am the same l cry when l am extremely frustrated.

Hace you been logging down what has been happening to you at work. This will help you stay focused when talking to her about the issues and you must the fear of doing that is worse than actually doing it. Well this is my experience anyway. I have come in to my boss being in s right mood this morning and l just blanked her, l have been civil but that’s it. Her problems aren’t mine.

I have no solutions to it but l can tell you l felt better for dealing with the things that made me feel emotional.

A very, very quick breathing technique is to breathe in to a count of 4, hold for 7 and out for 8. Repeat twice more.

I have found this helpful.

Hi OP. Sounds to me like you might be suffering from stress, depression or burnout. Either way, you sound emotionally fragile. Maybe go to your GP and discuss this?

When I got into that state a friend of mine pointed out that I might need help, and I did. Sending you hugs and best wishes.

Sorry about typos, at the end of my break and l couldn’t not answer

Hace= are
her= Hr

Sucking the roof of my mouth helps (I think it might be something to do with the sinuses), and drinking sips of water helps if you have a bottle handy.

Im sorry not to be offering more constructive advice than strategies to prevent crying.

Tongue to the roof of the mouth. Sort of works. I have the same response sometimes. I can deal with all sorts but sympathy... eeesh. Not so much

Two really important things!! Please look after yourself- this kind of situation can have a lasting effect on your health. Don't let it.

And when someone asks if you are ok, feel the rage because it's not ok that you have to feel like this. Don't rage at them, but grit your teeth and say "Don't ask!". Alternatively, a sunny smile and 'I'll be absolutely fabulous once I've had a double whisky!'.

Above all, don't think about 'how you are' or 'if you are ok'- you're not, and do t need to be thinking about it while you are holding everything together.

The crying is a completely normal response. Have you written everything down; if not this will help you as well being useful in remembering when all bullying occurs.
Have you spoken to anyone senior at work? HR department?

Please don’t be bullied out of your job. This happened to me, constant sniping and underhand, passive aggressive comments. I left as it all caused me a serious depression. I had been working in the profession for over twenty years, had amazing references and adored my job. I haven’t worked for a year or so and it has had big financial implications on our family.
Now that I’m feeling stronger and going back to work soon I have vowed no one will ever do that to me again. I know it is devastating but record everything, talk back and ask incessant questions about everything they do. Turn the tables and I bet the bullying coward will back off. I know it’s easier said than done. I had problems in past jobs but for some reason this particular person used to make me shake in my boots.
Record everything, follow up everything and try to trip them up at every opportunity! Best of luck. 💐