Toddler next door being left to cry

[ProhibitedRodent]

She just leaves him to cry He's been sobbing his little heart out for 2 hours now (and I can't sleep but I'm more concerned about him).

My parents did this and I can actually still remember it. All those hours laying there crying, thinking I'd been abandoned (I have quite a few memories of being a baby/toddler, strangely).
That was the 80s though and was, sadly, the advice back then. Thankfully this has now changed although clearly is being ignored by this mother.

It's breaking my heart hearing him sobbing like this. I just want to go do something but obviously I can't 😢

What would you do?

@Coconutbug How on earth do you know what I have an idea of or not? She has mentioned in conversation that she just leaves him to cry if he wakes up and seems quite proud of it! Thing is, if he wakes up at say 10pm, he continues ALL NIGHT LONG.

@Kokeshi123 Actually I do! I remember very clear things that I have described in detail to my parents and couldn't have possibly known any other way. It's only a handful of things I remember. My first memory was sat up in my silver cross pram (so 6 months ish) and I can even describe what my grandmother was wearing and the shop we walked past which was long gone before I turned 1.

Lots of people have memories of being a baby, don't be so arrogant

Does the baby look ok? Does his cry weaken?

The thing is that if he is still crying after 8 months he must be well cared for the rest of the time surely? Otherwise surely he would have worked out that crying doesn't work and have given up by now?

My neighbours called the police on me a few weeks ago. My 6 year old had a full blown screaming tantrum because her brother wouldn't give her the remote control.

It was 6.00pm. I have raised all of mine the same, ignore tantrums completely. Anyway, after 15min of all this, she just stopped and did something else.

Police looked very embarrassed when they turned up at 11pm wanting to check that my children were alive.

Well you didn't mention that in your any of that in original post so pardon me for thinking otherwise.....
If you feel like the right decision is to call SS go ahead, good luck

Social services?? Are you mad? Try asking the mother if she is ok and if theres anything you can do to help? I spent hours sobbing on my floor with my baby screaming because he just wouldn't stop! Try being a bit supportive and compassionate!

The people defending her allowing her child to cry for TWO HOURS are unreal. You try crying for two hours and see how you feel after it. Personally I get a headache, hyperventilate and feel awful. Why would you want a young child to feel like that who can't rationalise why you've left them alone?

OP I also remember being left to cry behind a baby gate as a toddler, it's not just you.

Poor thing :( most babies who know nobody is coming don’t cry, do they? They give up as far as I’ve read so I’d be worried it’s something else causing the crying. Has he got additional needs?

If it’s been happening for 8 months I would tell SS. It could be one of the other neighbours or someone walking their dog late at night that could have reported it.

Are you a perfect parent then with a perfect child that never cries? I think you’re being too judgemental.

DD cries a lot and she’s 15 months. Sometimes I have to clean/ get ready for work/ cook dinner and generally get on with life while she cries. It’s very difficult for both of us but sometimes I have no choice.

Some kids are just more sensitive than others- it absolutely doesn’t mean they are being neglectful.

I think it depends if you have any other concerns about the parents OP. If you are worried the little one is being neglected then report them. HOWEVER, lots of babies cry a lot! It's not always as simple as it seems. Maybe ask the parents how they are doing. It is awful to listen to.

I can't do anything can I? Like report to SS (not that one incident of this would necessarily warrant a report....or would it?)

This is not just one night. It's been every single night for 8 months....

So which is it OP?

@Seeline well spotted. I see OP hasn’t been back....

The people defending her allowing her child to cry for TWO HOURS are unreal.
I'd have done anything for it to just be two hours. While I accept that some people will leave a child to cry, I didn't 'allow' it, no matter what I did she cried. And cried. And cried. She was uncomfortable and in pain you see, and although I'd done everything humanly possible (specialists, meds, comfort) as she was a baby she didn't understand and crying was her only way to communicate how she was feeling. It stopped when the problems that caused the pain and discomfort stopped - surgically. Maybe I should have had a go myself to remove her tonsils and adenoids so I wasn't 'allowing' my child to cry?

You try crying for two hours and see how you feel after it. Personally I get a headache, hyperventilate and feel awful.
Oh I did, I laid and cried with her, because there was nothing I could do.

Why would you want a young child to feel like that who can't rationalise why you've left them alone?

I didn't want her to feel that way, I didn't want to feel that way. It was beyond my control, and in order to make sure other needs were met she had to be left sometimes. I'm one person, can't split myself in half. She cried and was distressed anyway, I'm sure being in a dirty home, with nothing to eat and drink would have made that worse.
Judgemental and short sighted really, to say someone 'allows' a baby to cry - it's hardly like they seek permission is it? Not everything can be cured with a cuddle you know.

DD cried. A lot. Often I cried with her.

The only way to stop the middle of the night shrieks was to get up with her and let her play/put telly on etc. until 1-2 am when she'd crash. Then up again at fucking 5 am.

I did it sometimes but rarely, because I couldn't function.

She was pissed off cause she wanted to be up. That's it.