Is this financially controlling?

[Redcliff]

My DP is a sahd and has been for the last few years. Our youngest is now in year one and DH has been job hunting but only because I have pushed him into it. He has a bad back (which was better on holiday as he wasn't sleeping in our very old, knackered bed) and is saying we need a new bed so he isn't in pain everyday. I agree with that we need a new bed but we are currently paying off some credit card debt.

If I say once he gets a job (he is not looking very hard right now in my opinion) we can buy the bed is that financially controlling? Just getting a new mattress is unlikely to help as the base has had it.

Would you qualify for interest free credit from eg Dreams?
I'm surprised you don#'t also have back pain from a poor bed. It's amazing how much difference a good bed and mattress makes.

You could afford a holiday, but not a bed? Priorities.

Get a new bed, I often see people on our local fb group getting rid of perfectly good beds because they are redecorating their spare room. They are often very reasonable.

I don't know if it goes as far as being financially controlling, but refusing to purchase a new bed when you know your partner is in pain unless he proves his worthiness by getting a job is pretty shitty behaviour imo.

Ok - I hear you loud and clear (so glad I didn't post this on AIBU). We are off to the bed shop tomorrow (they have a sale on so hopefully can save some cash there).

By the way he has only just said that the bed affects his back (so didn't prioritise a holiday over the bed) and the credit card debt was built up on holiday back to his home country so family debt.

That’s horrible! He’s suffering so a new bed should be of the utmost importance.

But a secondhand one if need be as people often sell off spare bedroom ones that have not been used or have had little use.

Even a single bed in a spare bedroom if it’s cheaper.

No way would I want my beloved suffering.

And thanks to the poster who suggested interest free from dreams - good idea.

If they are next door or near make sure you check out dreams and Benson for beds.

We have had beds from both but this time around Benson were better value and they also do interest free credit.

If not you could try and get an interest free purchase credit card.

I think if the shoe were on the other foot here, people would be telling you to kick him out....

So you can afford a holiday but not an item that would cause your spouse less pain?