Have I done the right thing? Mil/child care related.

[Duckegg271]

Mil is lovely, always on hand when needed despite living 30 miles away. At the weekend she blacked out, without warning. Fine one minute, out cold the next. (She wet herself so must have been fully unconscious)

I’ve said (very nicely) that I don’t think she should be driving until she gets checked at the doctors. I also don’t want her to be in charge of dc until she’s had a once over, they’d be terrified. I haven’t said this to her as she won’t be able to have them if she can’t drive anyway (they’ve got a dog who doesn’t like kids) so I thought I’d save her feelings.

I’ve done the right thing haven’t I?

*we won’t be able to drive dc to her house for her to look after them there because of the dog.

Is she planning to get checked?

I think you’re being sensible, but I can see that it’s difficult all round.

Hi, yes I think you've done the right thing .

MIL needs to see GP to investigate the cause . Has this happened before?

Absolutely is a very unfortunate situation but until she knows what she is dealing with she can't be unsupervised with dc. If she is as nice as you say I'm sure she will agree and feel the same.

Yes totally.

YANBU in the slightest. Of course she needs to get checked over a) to find out what happened and b) to see if it will reoccur.

It would be neglectful of you to leave your children in her care knowing she has blacked out, so you are well within your rights to say no until she’s been given the all clear by a dr.

Sounds like a seizure. My ds1 had one only 26 at the time, he had tests and is fine now and no repercussions. He wasn't allowed to drive until he had a doctors note for the all clear, it's at least 12 months.
She may be told she is banned.
There is no reason why she shouldn't be in charge of children though, unless they are tiny.

We did the same, our child doesn't get in a car with my FIL due to history of falls and not being honest with his GP. BIL was a passenger recently and said to him his driving was awful, not a fun conversation. You have to look after your child's interests.

What a rubbish situation for you all. And poor mil she must have got such a fright but you are right to put the dcs saftey first.
Was she taken to hospital/ doctors after the incident?
I hope it in nothing to serious and they get to the bottom of it.

It does sound more like a seizure than a faint tbh, but either way I hope she gets checked out, you are right btw.

Of course you are correct saying she shouldn't be driving until this issue is diagnosed and treated.

YAB a bit U to not state outright that you also don't want her in charge of your kids till this is resolved. You have stated your concern is about driving - so what if she calls up tomorrow and lets you know she is fine to have the kids next week as planned as her mate Sue is giving her a lift over? You will then have to clarify further which could be more hurtful.

Just be thankful this didn't happen at a more safety critical time.

If you get on well she will understand
I’d say that since something clearly isn’t right and needs investigation that I’ll find other childcare and when she/you know what’s happened and what treatment she needs going forward then you can make a plan together
Honesty and being clear is important

I went through this with my own mum when she had a stroke

MIL would agree with you 100% I’d have thought! Doesn’t she?

Thanks for all the replies. She hasn’t got checked, she’s laughed it off.

She was frosty on the phone and has ignored the text I sent her. I’m going to chat to DH later this evening.

I feel horrible about it but I have to put dc first. They’re not little-9 and 10 but I still don’t want them put them in that situation.

I can't believe she isn't going to get checked. She either had a seizure or a small stroke - both of which should be urgently checked out. And she certainly shouldn't be driving - for her own safety and that of others.

You have to firm about this - your children come first, not her feelings.

ShippingNews what makes you say she had a seizure or a stroke? I absolutely agree that she needs to be checked over but it could have been ‘just’ a faint.

I would not let her childcare. If she won’t get it checked then, I think she will keep it a secret next time she does it. Setting herself while unconscious is not a normal faint.

She has had a transient loss of consciousness and she needs to see a neurologist within two weeks. There are usually specific TLOC clinics which her GP can refer her too and she mustn't drive until told she can.

DH’s just in from work. He spoke to her about it during the day. She’s agreed to see her gp and not to drive until she’s given the green light. His sisters have said the same thing to her. I think now she’s hearing it off everyone and not just me she’s realising it’s not something she can just laugh off.