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Original poster

Toddler almost drowned today

121 replies

ZogorElmer · 16/09/2019 19:06

Almost 3 year old was on his noodle in the swimming pool when he fell off and went under. DH was looking in the other direction and didn’t see and it took a second for me as a spectator to notice and shout him. He grabbed DS out of the water and he was fine but I can’t shake the look of panic on DS’s face as he was under the water trying to get up. He was under for about 2 seconds maximum but it felt a life time.

I had a huge go at DH about making sure he watches DS like hawk and keeps him at arms reach in future. I think he was over confident as DS can swim around the pool on a noodle no problem but obviously without it would sink.

I don’t know why I’m posted but I just feel like I need to tell someone. I still feel so shook up even though DS is running round like a nutter as usual.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 16/09/2019 19:53

I think the worst thing you can do here is stop him swimming. The event clearly didn’t frighten him enough for him to cry to get out. It’s a cautionary tale about needing to be vigilant in the pool. I imagine DH is feeling worse than anyone right now though.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 16/09/2019 19:57

I know what it’s like, OP. This wasn’t water-related, but when DS1 was about 3, I let him sit in the shopping trolley (one of the small, high-up ones), and he stood up. I didn’t notice, swung the trolley, and he fell out. He fell about 4 feet and landed heavily, the back of his head hitting the ground with a sickening thump.

His eyes shot wide open when his head hit the floor. I can still see it now, almost 14 years later!

It’s horrible, seeing their panic.

But your DS is ok. And my DS is ok. You’ll keep seeing his panicky expression in your mind for a while, but he’s fine. Focus on that. And don’t avoid the pool.

Big hug.

lljkk · 16/09/2019 19:59

We got distracted once in a pool & only belatedly realised 2yo Ds was struggling. Sputter sputter...

3-5yo DD went around deep end on a noodle before she could swim

Now I almost properly drowned when I was 2yo. My mom couldn't even see me. I had to be pointed out by another 2yr old. Was floating bottom up unconscious in the waves. Had to be resus'd. My mom didn't & I don't expect she should have felt guilty about it forever.

itsboiledeggsagain · 16/09/2019 19:59

scary for you all but all was well.
once my child went under in a toddler pool and was struggling to get up as we were rushing rushing to her. I still remember vividly 3 years later.

take care, keep going and put it in perspective.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 16/09/2019 20:00

have u tried a parking clamp

No. They rust.

rookiemere · 16/09/2019 20:00

Accidents happen. I remember being away on holiday at a villa when DS was about 3. He was playing with the balls on the snooker table a wee bit away from the pool. I was watching him but I must have dozed as the next thing I heard was a very gentle splash. Opened my eyes to discover that DS had plunged into the pool chasing after a rogue snooker ball, obviously grabbed him out straight away.

Your DH wasn't looking for a very short period of time - I'm sure even if you hadn't noticed what had happened with DS he would have done before any harm was done.

bobstersmum · 16/09/2019 20:01

My youngest is nearly 2.5 and I can't see me feeling confident in less than 6 months at letting her in the pool without me directly next to her without a proper flotation device strapped to her. I'm so glad your child is ok.

NerrSnerr · 16/09/2019 20:02

have u tried a parking clamp, please check your local laws as private clamping is illegal.

I can imagine that clamping your child to a swimming pool is certainly illegal.

Our pool has no shallow end and we've always used a noodle. As PP said, you just need to be watching all the time.

Shortfeet · 16/09/2019 20:05

@Megs4x3

Exactly! I’m so glad your kid is ok but please don’t say he nearly drowned.
A child in our family DID drown.

ALoadOfTwaddle · 16/09/2019 20:06

My youngest is nearly 2.5 and I can't see me feeling confident in less than 6 months at letting her in the pool without me directly next to her without a proper flotation device strapped to her

You need to be directly next to her and looking at her even if she does have a flotation device strapped to her. They do not replace proper supervision.

Soontobe60 · 16/09/2019 20:06

Absolutely the worst thing to do is tô stop him swimming. He clearly wasn't bothered after the event as he was happy to stay in for a long time. He went under, he came up. To those who suggested it, How's he going to learn to swim if he's wearing arm bands or a flotation vest all the time?
My DGS has been to swimming classes from about 3 months old. He said never worn these, and is more than happy to swim underwater for a surprising length of time.

Witchend · 16/09/2019 20:07

Apparently I, aged 3yo, stepped off the step in the swimming pool and was under for about 10 seconds. I have absolutely no recollection of it, and apparently just stood there holding my breath waiting to be picked up. The life guards told my panicking dm that was fairly typical of a young child.
Don't worry.

Mamasaurus82 · 16/09/2019 20:11

I was gearing myself up to taking DS swimming in next few days. We've not been for ages (he's screamed, "i want to get out!" repeatedly when we have been).
Some of these storiesShock... might leave it a bit...
Hope you're ok OP

XXcstatic · 16/09/2019 20:14

Exactly! I’m so glad your kid is ok but please don’t say he nearly drowned. A child in our family DID drown

Very sorry for your loss but I don't think the OP is being over-dramatic. I used to live in Oz, where children drown in similar circumstances to the OP's all the time Sad, because people are in the pool/ocean so much more . A parent being distracted for a moment is all it takes.

I do feel sorry for the DH though. It is so easily done - he may have been looking away for a very good reason, e.g. concern about another child's safety. I know it's hard, OP, but you have to try to forgive him, even though it happened on his watch.

CottonSock · 16/09/2019 20:16

This happened to me, two variations.

Aged 2 my youngest daughter tripped in pool and sank like a bullet head first. Picked her up and carried on our swim. The dunking later gave her an ear infection so I felt bad that it happened. But, my partner understood that it was an accident and wasn't cross. I was right there and picked her up after about 2 seconds. I was quite shocked how she was not able to even try and get herself up. She wears a vest now unless I'm clinging onto her. I wasn't upset afterwards.
But...

When my first daughter was a baby, we did baby swimming lessons.
At waterbabies they dunk them under for much longer, especially at the photo shoot. I got very stressed by it all and couldn't buy the picture as it had such negative associations. I used to have flash backs about them holding her under and was tearful talking about it. So I do understand where your emotions came from. Our minds must process things differently sometimes. I guess as I felt it was deliberate.
I'll never recommend water babies to anyone..

tuberr0se · 16/09/2019 20:24

OP please take a deep breathe. Your dc DIDN'T nearly drown. I hope that you and especially you're husband (who must feel awful) feel better, but some children do actually drown and this this a potentially triggering post.

tuberr0se · 16/09/2019 20:25

this is, I meant

PrettyFlyF0rAWiFi · 16/09/2019 20:27

He didn't nearly drown. He went under the water. All sounds very dramatic

Incidentally I'm a big one for safety around water. But a dunking for 2 seconds with both parents there makes a mockery of those who literally did almost drown

WanderingTrolley1 · 16/09/2019 20:36

You’re overreacting, OP!

Your DP was at his aid within a couple seconds. Your post is incredibly insensitive.

Original poster
ZogorElmer · 16/09/2019 20:37

I apologise if I have caused offence to anyone with my phrasing. I was very shook up and to me, he was drowning in front of me as my DH moved across to pull him up. It was very scary seeing the look on his face as he was sinking under the water. I apologise if someone feels I am being dramatic, it just really shook me up.

OP posts:
CoinOperatedBoy · 16/09/2019 20:39

He can't nearly drown when he has 2 adults right there with eyes on him, and one available for rescue in 2 seconds. But I do get your panic. If it was me the whole "Omg what if we'd both been distracted for a bit longer..." would play on my mind for a loooooong time.

ratatata · 16/09/2019 20:41

I think you need to move on

Moreisnnogedag · 16/09/2019 20:42

Ok I get you panicked but you need to think more rationally about this. He didn’t almost drown, he had a bit of scare that’s all. You guys did absolutely the right thing keeping him in the water afterwards, so that he didn’t associate water with fear.

I hate armbands and flotation devices for all the reasons stated above - the false confidence, the failing to teach water safety and holding kids back in teaching how to swim.

Rachelover60 · 16/09/2019 20:46

What is 'on the noodle'?

Original poster
ZogorElmer · 16/09/2019 20:48

A pool noodle (like a long floatation aid). Sometimes called a woggle. Google it. He was laid with it under his chest and arms.

OP posts: