Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Who gets fined... teem time holiday. Divorced parents

16 replies

locketsprocket · 16/09/2019 16:12

Exh has taken the children on holiday... 3 days after they started back this term Hmm

Obviously I do not agree to this but as he has parental rights not much I can do, I refused to get involved and left him to complete holiday forms etc.

Despite this I seem to be the one the school is emailing with regards to the holiday not being authorised and details about potential fines etc.

How can I be fined for a holiday I have nothing to do with and don't agree to ?

OP posts:
Lulualla · 16/09/2019 16:14

Have you told the school that you have nothing to do with it and you were unable to stop him. What did they reply when you pointed out that he filled out the forms and he took them away?

TheGrandHighWitch · 16/09/2019 17:26

My DD's school emailed parents their guidance on this recently. In summary, they would fine each parent involved in the decision to take the child on holiday. So non separated/divorced parents who both take the child(ren) away = fine each. Separated/divorced parent taking child away = fine for parent who did it. Which seems fair. However, it did state that they would also fine STEP parents if involved in the decision to take child(ren) on holiday which I am not sure about. On the one hand, I get that it's supposed to be a deterrent to the family but on the other hand, I am not sure how much choice a step parent would even have in the decision for a child to miss school for a holiday.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 16/09/2019 17:42

he has parental rights not much I can do
Why not? You have a duty to ensure your child gets an education. You should be telling your ex that he cannot take them out of school like that. Have you spoken to a lawyer? You cant just abdicate responsibility for this.

BrokenWing · 16/09/2019 17:44

Legally they could fine you.

I don't agree with term time holidays, school is important and it is important children know if it's not optional, I would have made that clear /actively tried to stop.

Did he take them abroad? He can't do this without your permission, or you can deny permission.

Did you pack their bags? I wouldn't have.

If holidaying at home guess there isn't much you can do other than take steps to ensure it didn't happen again, if he disagrees see a solicitor.

If you "refuse to get involved", therefore condone, pay the fine.

Witchend · 16/09/2019 17:51

It's they fine both parents. I think that's even if you're divorced and not agreed to it.

coconuttelegraph · 16/09/2019 17:52

Unless or until you get a fine I wouldn't do anything other than make sure the school know in writing that you didnt agree with the holiday and the steps you took to try and persuade your ex not to take them away.

Lulualla · 16/09/2019 17:54

Denying permission would only work if he was actually stopped and asked when they try to fly.
We had no contact with my ex for 5 years. I couldn't get permission because I had no idea where he was. We went on holiday a lot and I was never questioned or asked for proof of permission.

PerfectPenquins · 16/09/2019 18:11

I'd get him to sign a contract agreeing to pay any fines you receive for his holiday and withhold permission which he does need to leave the country.

youarenotkiddingme · 16/09/2019 18:16

I'd just email school asking them to check their paperwork as you did not request or agree to your children holidaying in term time and they need to contact the person who did.

EggysMom · 16/09/2019 18:21

I'd just email school asking them to check their paperwork as you did not request or agree to your children holidaying in term time and they need to contact the person who did.

This ^^.

Original poster
locketsprocket · 16/09/2019 20:19

Yes I spoke to the school first day back because step Mum said they were not going to notify the school and just take them so that would leave me with the phone calls etc asking where they were, so I called school to let them know his plan and they said they would phone him and send him the holiday request form

I also made it clear I was not taking them, I didn't agree and I was at home with my younger child

I replied to the email today stating that I hadn't filled out a request and that I don't authorise them being off and that any correspondence/fines etc need to be sent directly to him and him only and that I had also spoken to a member of staff regarding this, they replied saying they would amend records to show I didn't request leave and that it was there dad

So hopefully that will be the end of it, just annoying as he did the same last year then Dd need 2 small period off school for operations which then made her attendance bad

I work in s school so take them on holiday in holiday

I have no way of stopping him taking them there are not babies (teens) and I have no relationship st all with him, very tricky few years when we first split where he was charged with assault and injunctions etc etc

OP posts:
Original poster
locketsprocket · 16/09/2019 20:22

Also I nor him have ever been stopped taking the children abroad, we split 11 years ago and the children have his surname

Even when I take them under my name we have never been questioned and I've never had his agreement

OP posts:
Witchend · 16/09/2019 21:10

It's not the school that fines, it's the LA so I don't think that will make ant difference when they issue the fines.

IndieTara · 16/09/2019 21:17

He doesn't need to get permission to take them out of the country as he has parental rights. Exactly how is op supposed to stop him? Bodily ?
My XH did this and school harassed me about it relentlessly

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/09/2019 21:23

@IndieTara legally he should have permission from everyone with PR to remove them from the country unless he has a court order giving him residence - in this instance he could remove them from the country for up to 28 days. Whether the law is applied at ports is a different matter.

IndieTara · 16/09/2019 21:39

@Lonecatwithkitten I wasn't talking about legally more who is going to try and actually stop him. There'd be no reason to question him

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.