Potty training and pre-school

[Somebodystired]

DS will be 3 in a month or so. We have been potty training for a few weeks and he is generally pretty dry, but he gets confused when wearing pants so he goes commando for the time being.

He started preschool last week, 2.5 days. His first week there, he had one wee accident on the first two days, and a poo accident thr second day. On the 3rd day he was completely dry. Had a few accidents over the weekend too.

Today he has come home having gone through almost all of his spare clothes, so maybe 5 or 6 accidents? Could just be a bad day, but what I'm wost worried about is that he will only tell us when he needs to poo when completely naked from the waist down. If he is wearing trousers, he will poo in them. This isn't nice for the ladies at pre-school to have to deal with. If I put him in pull-ups he gets lazy. I could put him in pants so that if he poos in them it's at least more "contained" than if going commando, but he is likely to have more wet accidents that way.

He has made such good progress the past month that I dont want to go back to nappies and try again in a few months but I really dont know what to do for the best?

You have my sympathy. My DD is pretty much completely dry at home (maybe one wet accident a week) but struggles much more at nursery and I feel helpless to do anything about it!

However, I'm surprised preschool haven't insisted on pants as without them it will be much more work to clean him up and I'd have thought a higher risk of wee/poo on the floor/play equipment.

I'd make it your priority at home to potty train him wearing pants. I know it's recommended to go without underwear for the first couple of days but the expectation is that at least within a week they'll be able to wear pants without forgetting that they haven't got a nappy on.

If he just can't get the hang of it in pants I think you'll have to go to pull ups.

My concern would be that if this goes on for weeks/months, staff might become less patient and your DS may become stressed about it which won't help anyone.

Put him in pants at home too.

I've worked with many children who are "pottytrained" naked in the garden in summer and the parents wonder why they struggle when back in preschool. (Including my own son as it just didn't even occur to me!)

I've just put a pair of pants on him and he looked at me funny and said "no, wee wee" pulled them down and went on his potty....so maybe he understands a bit more than he did a few weeks ago!

Thanks both. He is absolutely fine when just in trousers (recently stayed dry with no accidents for an entire wedding ceremony, meal and evening reception) so it's not just naked. But you're right it is definitely time to put the pants on him!

Is his speech quite poor?

I would definitely put pants on him, I can’t say I really understand the logic for not tbh.

Yes his speech isn't great but he is able to tell us when he needs to go.

We were following the Oh Crap method which advocates no pants for the first few weeks so there is logic behind it

somebodystired we followed Oh Crap too- it worked well for us. Have a look on Facebook- there’s a really helpful support group which is useful.

I wouldn’t use pull ups, and if you’re using Oh Crap I wouldn’t use pants until he was properly reliable. In situations like yours, I think the book recommends a couple of reset days? I’d also make sure that the Preschool are aware of what you’re doing, and how to follow it for consistency within their setting.

I think it’s really off to expect other people to clear up poo that is not contained in underwear. I get that it’s their job and I’m sure they don’t mind clearing up accidents but if you can minimise the extent of it you should. It’s also not very hygienic when he’s playing and sharing with others.

Georgie where have I said I expect other people to clear up his uncontained poo? The pre-school havent said anything to me about it, I have posted on here saying that it isn't nice for them to have to do so should I try pants or go for pull ups. The first time he did it I thought it might be a one-off, today was the second time so I am addressing it and trying to gauge opinions on the best course of action.

Just persevere as you are. Don't make a big thing of accidents, continue to praise when he gets it right. You sound like you are more or less exactly at the point that we were at with DD a month ago (roughly same age too). It was very sporadic with her too, up until about a fortnight ago when it all suddenly seemed to click and she has been dry during the day ever since. Just stick with what you are doing and you will get there soon.

We also found that chocolate buttons as a reward for correct toileting was a powerful incentive!