How to stop saying “sorry”

[FrappeLatte]

I apologise... all the time. For everything. For nothing. Randomly. Multiple times a minute, sometimes. Walking through a shopping centre or supermarket is cringeworthy, I’m forever saying sorry to people - when I feel like I’m in their way, when I stop to avoid being in their way, when they stop to let me pass. The list goes on. At work is even worse.

My DS is not yet 2, but has started saying sorry all the time (he understands the word, so it’s not just a sound to him). He clearly gets it from me.

I don’t want him to get into this habit, so I need to stop doing it myself. But how? It’s ingrained. I don’t know why I do it

Hi FrappeLatte. Try hypnosis. As you say it’s a habit, and they will be able to give you aversions to stop it.

I do this too, and would really love to hear how people who used to do it managed to stop.

Sorry for jumping onto your thread, OP

I'm similar and been told it's linked to low self esteem. Always feeling like everyone else's feelings are more important than yours, worried about offending people etc. There are loads of books on improving self esteem. I have one 'self esteem for dummies' it's quite good to dip in and out of. Love the irony of the title...
Counseling maybe if you DO think it's a symptom of something deeper.

I'm similar and been told it's linked to low self esteem.

I did it a lot as a child and teen mainly I think as I was being bullied and did have low self esteem. It used to drive my Mum nuts though I was just supposed to ignore the bullying rather than try and get help with it.

I think noticing helps - I think I did start trying to think though in my head how else I could handle situations - often smiling rather than talking but TBH I think mostly is was feeling better about myself that did it.

That’s ok @StoatofDisarray, hopefully we can both find some helpful tips.

I think it is probably a self-esteem and/or confidence issue... I have (diagnoses) generalised anxiety disorder and depression, which doesn’t help. I’ll look into that book, thanks @Fivechatchacha

I hadn’t thought of hypnosis... might be worth considering!

I’ve had friends who have successfully overcome smoking (1 session) and eating habits (3 sessions) through hypnosis. It’s just another habit, so I think it will help. It will also help with anxiety. Good luck!

I do the exact same thing! I also have trouble saying no to people and making decisions where someone else is affected by that decision. It's absolutely due to low self esteem and a low sense of self worth. I hate feeling like I've disappointed people or troubled or inconvenienced them with anything even when it's just that they've had to step aside for me. I'm the annoying person who says "I don't mind" when friends or family ask me what we should do or where we should meet up. I say I don't mind because whenever I have suggested something to others it was never good enough and there was always a problem that wouldn't have happened if we had gone somewhere else.

@violetdelights you sound exactly like me! And with decisions too... I can never choose what to have for dinner, or where to go for a walk. I guess part of me just feels like my choices will be the “wrong” one.