Help a girl out

[aspergers101]

Name changed for this

I was diagnosed with autism circa 6 years ago, although never had any therapy for this etc.
I just wondered if other women with a hfa could list some of their traits, behaviours etc?

I've recently been thinking into things more deeply and thinking that perhaps some of my behaviours aren't because I'm a "bitch" but rather traits of autism.

I've also name changed, but will try to help you out. I was diagnosed as a teenager, and I'm not sure how many of my characteristics are to do with the asd or not but I'll list all of them.

-I can't look at people in the eye esp if having a personal conversation. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and if I try to my eyes twitch

-I have no idea how to deal with other people's emotions. So if someone is crying I have the urge to run away not because I'm a bitch and i dont care but because I have no idea what to do or say

-People always think I'm rude because I end up insulting them by accident because I don't think before I speak and then I get labeled a bitch and feel horrible for days after lol

-I don't actually know how to have a relationship and keep it, like obviously I've been on dates and stuff but nothing longterm, i dont know why but I drive people away probs because of the lack of eye contact. I get told it comes off as insincere a lot and I actually lost my first (customer facing) job because of that.

I can't think of a lot more so I hope I hoped a little bit

*hope I helped- gah I can't type today!

Mine are: specialist subjects, I’ll get fixated on certain things (love a self-help book!) for a while, then I move on to the next thing. Socially I struggle. I have some good friends. I’m not always good at staying in touch with people. I either over-share or come across as withdrawn, I can’t find a balance. I’m rubbish at eye contact - I try to do it because I know I should but I either do it too intensely or not enough! I have to make small talk in my job (nurse) but I’m usually busy or there’s something on a screen so I can talk to the patient (I have a selection of questions to get them talking!) without really looking at them. I do struggle with anxiety and expressing myself. I’ve got a bit better at being assertive about what I need, especially at work after a bad experience in the last couple of years which I’m about to get counselling for. On the positive - I give good attention to detail, I’m thorough (which I’m praised for at work), I’m very loyal and a caring friend, I just can’t juggle that many people at a time.