Desperately want another child but DH is 47

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And most likely will be 48 by the time we have another baby.

Is he too old? He says he's open minded for another. We have 2 DDs and I'd absolutely love a third child. I was an only child and I hated it. I'd always pictured myself with 3 children.

We live in London where dads to newborns their early-mid 40s isn't entirely uncommon.

For us this would be a no. Yes fathers can father a child at any age, but mothers can be fairly elderly themselves before they go through the menopause. (Average is 51!!!). He could easily be a grandfather. I'm not entirely convinced its in the best interests of child to be a geriatric parent with young children.

DH was 52 when ds2 was born.

DH is 48 and we are having our first in the next few weeks

Each to their own obviously, but. I find it more amazing that you’re broody again after only 11 months. My baby’s 20 and I’ve still not had a second bout of broodiness. I can’t see it coming now

My DP is 61 and we're expecting our 2nd.

If you want to and feel able to then don't let other people's judgements hold you back.

DDs are 2yr4m and 11 months, still small!

I guessed that they were still small. I wonder if you would have the same longing if they were teenagers.
In my experience small children are a doddle compared to having teenagers:
Teenagers are expensive
Friendship issues
Relationship issues
Bullying
GCSEs
A levels
University (the biggest expense of all)

Do you really want to go through the stress of GCSE x 3, A levels x 3, UCAS applications x 3?
For the record OH was 48 when DD was born, so it isn’t the age that concerns me, but the logistics and stress of three children.

No way in hell could I or dh cope with a teenager in our 60s.

My DH just turned 50 when we had our first last year, I'm late 30s.

He doesn't go to the gym or anything, but walks lots and eats healthily, doesn't drink much or smoke at all. He does worry about not being around when DS gets older, but people die at all ages for all kinds of reasons, you can't predict life.

For me it would be a No.

Maybe I just know too many Dads, don't ask me why it's all Dads, who've lost their lives to cancer in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Leaving mum's to raise children alone.

But the thought of trying to fund 3 kids through Uni on a pension doesn't really sound like fun!

I was 33 and my husband was 51 when our daughter was born. She's doing really well. He does often get mistaken for her Granddad (as has grey hair) but otherwise no issues.

I realise she will likely only be in her 30s when her dad dies (assuming he lives to his 80s) but without making light of it, I could have married someone my own age who may have died young, or my husband might live to 100 and outlive me, who knows. To me, the important thing is she has a good father who loves her and takes good care of her.

As a previous poster said the risk of autism and other issues increases with father's age. I would think carefully about how this would impact you and your other kids lives if your child did have asn. This is a major factor in me deciding to stop at 2.

I had an older dad - he was 46 when I was born.

When I was young there were no problems at all. He did all the dad stuff - taught me to ride a bike, went on roller coasters with me, ferried me to friends houses and clubs. Strangers assumed he was my Grandad, but that didn't upset me.

The other upside that you have alluded to is that my dad was able to retire when I was in late primary school, so was always there throughout my secondary school years.

Downsides are that his health started to fail while I was in my late teens, early 20s, he was too old to really enjoy his grandchildren by the time they were born and despite living to over 80 he died while I was in my early 30s and GC were too young to remember him.

Ultimately I think there are upsides and downsides to having children at any age, being older is not automatically worse. My dad was financially stable, patient and after retirement had so much time to give, so I think losing him early was a reasonable price to pay for all the good stuff he gave me.

Tbh there are risks at any age. You already have an 11 month old so another baby in a year's time won't change things much. Don't let other people's judgement and opinions over rule your own. It's your life.

I guess if you feel his being a stay at home dad, after his career ends, to 3 kids while you go back to support them all, would work, then go for it, (which is the plan you mention). I think, I would find that hard. But us may suit some.

It gets expensive as they get older, especially the teen and university years so maybe it also depends a lot on how financially secure you are.

My DH was 54 when our first (and only) was born. I was 34.
He has waaaay more energy than me!

I was 36 and dh was 47 when we had our twins. We already had one and were going for number 2! My dh’s age hasn’t been an issue other than he can never retire...

I'm not sure what it is about his age that you anticipate could be problematic?

Presumably he was in his 40s anyway when your first two children were born?

Financial issues?
His being fit enough to help actively with the children?

Well, even if this third child went away to Uni at age 18, that would make your husband 66, before you had all of the children out of your home. Although, in my experience, you tend to financially support your kids until they finish Uni, so actually, he would be 70 by the time the youngest was not financially reliant on you. Is this viable?

I am 49 and DH is 46, and our kids are both in their final year at Uni. Next summer, we will finally not be supporting 4 adults financially and will be a lot richer, ha ha. In the last few years, we increased the foreign holidays that we take, often "Adults only" type stuff....it has been great. I can't imagine not having that freedom until I was 70+

But each to how own, and I guess you could argue that you and our DH must have had many years before you had children to build up your careers etc, and set yourselves up for supporting children later in life.

You don't say how old you are? That is a big factor as well.

@Huskylover1 all my older siblings and partners, who had their children in their late 20s and early 30s, have at least one adult child living at home. My own child minder has two adult children, one in their 30s, living at home.

So I wouldn't presume you won't be financially supporting your adult children in some way.

my husband was 48 when we had our first and 50 (51?) when we had our second. No problem at all, completely hands-on involved dad.