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Original poster

She changed her will

31 replies

Mildrivingiusmad · 15/09/2019 07:41

Any legal experts? MIL has changed her will and I’m not sure how it is going to be enforced when she dies.
Long story short (ish) FIL collected toy cars, 100s of them. Some are quite valuable. All on display in cases, out of boxes but boxes are stored elsewhere. When he died MIL asked me to sell them (she knows I do eBay). The money is for the 6 grandchildren. I spoke to them all (5 are adult) and they agreed I should sell them as a bulk lot and split the money between them. We do not live near MIL so I phoned her to say I had arranged for two dealers to come and give her quotes and did she want a relative to be with her?
Well she went off on one. She does not want them sold as a lot, or to a dealer but each sold separately on eBay. My husband and his brother have both told her that is not practical. It would take days (and a better knowledge of cars than I have) just to match the things up with the boxes. We all work, 3 of the grandchildren have young families and no one has time to box, photograph, list, sell, find and post 100s of cars. Not to mention that they would have to be stored somewhere.
She now informs us that she has changed her will so that they can only be sold one by one. My question is - who is responsible for this? How can a solicitor make that happen? As a family we understand how much they mean to her but all agree she is being unreasonable. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Peony99 · 15/09/2019 07:44

She might be BU, but if she wants to change her will (probably with a solicitor) she's entirely entitled to do so.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 15/09/2019 07:45

The Executors of the will will be responsible. And the most likely thing is they will send the lot to the lcoal auction house and tell them to sell them in individual lots.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 15/09/2019 07:45

(It will take hours!)

PullingMySocksUp · 15/09/2019 07:46

You can get people who will do eBay listings for you, and take 10%. Would that help at all?

JapaneseBirdPainting · 15/09/2019 07:47

She's done you a favour!!!! Now you don;t have to worry about it.

PullingMySocksUp · 15/09/2019 07:47

So now she’s saying don’t sell them at all until she’s died?

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2019 07:47

Who did FIL's will leave them to?

Fatted · 15/09/2019 07:47

I do not understand how this could be physically enforced? If all the recipients are in agreement with how it's done, then surely there isn't anything to stop them going against her wishes once she's gone?

Is she after more money do you think?

SleepyKat · 15/09/2019 07:47

Does she think the cars will get more money this way? She maybe thinks she’s doing the best thing for her grandkids.

I’m not sure how legally enforceable such a clause would be? I assume if you sold them after she died as a job lot on the behalf of minor children those children could complain either at the time or as an adult that you didn’t stick to the terms of the will and they were negatively financially affected because of this (if the money is still for them). But it’s unlikely anyone would complain?

Original poster
Mildrivingiusmad · 15/09/2019 07:50

We are fairly sure my husband and his brother are the executors of the will.
The people who sell for you on eBay sound helpful - she would hate them taking 10% so may not tell her.
If there was fewer of them then we could do it but my son lost count at over 300.

OP posts:
MistyGlen · 15/09/2019 07:53

Perhaps she thinks they’re worth more individually? In which case you need to explain that they’re not, because you have to factor in the expense of paying a person or auction house to faff about selling them individually.

Celticdawn5 · 15/09/2019 07:54

She can change her will obviously and yes, executors have the responsibility but who will challenge legally if the executors choose not to sell individually? The only likelihood of a challenge is by a beneficiary of the will , factor in the cost of doing so and the effort involved, if all beneficiaries in agreement then no problem .
As far as MIL is concerned, just say nothing.

Original poster
Mildrivingiusmad · 15/09/2019 07:55

When I was going to sell them before I had contracts drawn up for the adult grandchildren to sign and for my son’s legal guardian to sign on his behalf. All agreed to it.
Yes, she does want the most money she can get but over estimates their worth.
FIL left them all to her in his will.
Apparently she has also taken my name off the Princess Di figure! She has labels on all her treasures and we get moved around depending on if we are in favour or not.

OP posts:
JapaneseBirdPainting · 15/09/2019 08:03

Honestly, it's not as much of a problem as you think. Just nod and agree.

boptist · 15/09/2019 08:03

I’d be glad I was off the hook.

Pineappleunder · 15/09/2019 08:05

My mum inherited similar. Was estimated £400 to sell them as a bulk lot at auction but went on to sell them individually on eBay for upwards of £4000.
So it might be worth it! I do agree it's not your job though.

twirlypoo · 15/09/2019 08:08

In the nicest way, people do WEIRD shit when they are grieving. When my dad died, my mum would walk around my house snatching things she thought he had given me in the past and say “they are mine!”. Just let the dust settle and don’t push it? If they have been left to MIL anyway, then she won’t even know how it’s dealt with if they are sold after she is gone.

Lovestonap · 15/09/2019 08:08

OMG who would want a princess Di figure anyway?! Bet you're relieved to have dodged that bullet. Moving labels around sounds so manipulative. From now on I'd refuse to discuss her property or her will with her at all. If she tries to bring it up say something like 'let's not think about your death, or worry about what will happen after it, the executors will handle everything'. Is she quite well in other ways or is she still struggling with the loss of her husband?

MarigoldGlove · 15/09/2019 08:10

It sounds to me that like many people who collect things, she thinks the collection is valuable. It most likely isn’t. Collectors often use the fact that their collection is valuable as an excuse really for wanting to collect something.

I would just go along with whatever she says, especially as the majority of the grandchildren are adults.

Pineappleunder · 15/09/2019 08:10

Also it was the auction house who recommended that my mum sell online individually. I wonder if your MIL has been given similar advice.

maslinpan · 15/09/2019 08:11

Do you actually believe she has gone to the solicitors, paid the fees and made this very pernickety change to her will? It does sound quite attention seeking, especially coupled with what you mentioned about people falling out of favour and swapping round who will inherit the ornaments. Maybe just nod and smile, as others have suggested.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 15/09/2019 08:15

Surely her will has nothing to do with it. Were the grandchildren the beneficiaries of the cars in your FIL's will?

Marinetta · 15/09/2019 08:16

Once your mother in law has passed away she isn't going to know if the cars were sold individually or not. My understanding is that as long as none of the beneficiaries of the will put in an objection then you can do what you want with the cars. Given that the beneficiaries will be the grandkids who have already agreed to have the cars sold as a lot I don't think there will be any issue. However, as she now wants to leave them to the grandkids in her will I assume that you no longer have any reason to be involved in the sale of the cars so I think the best thing for you to do is leave it alone and allow the grandkids to deal with the sale of the cars when the time comes. Unfortunately a lot of families fall out over wills so I think its best if you try and keep youself out of it to avoid unnecessary accusations further down the line.

Illberidingshotgun · 15/09/2019 08:18

She sounds like someone who is trying to exercise a bit of control over her life, at a time when she may feel that she is becoming vulnerable, and heading towards a loss of control/choice.

If that's her decision, then it's hers to make, and it should be respected. When the time eventually comes, then it may be in quite a few years, when there may be family members who are at a point in their lives when they have a little more time in their lives to sell these items individually. Eg her children may be retired or only working part time, or her great grandchildren may be old enough to do this for a cut of the profits.

Regardless, it doesn't need to be done now, and when she eventually passes away the executors can make that decision with the solicitor.

Incidentally, I too would be wary of offering these as a job lot to a dealer. Inevitably they are going to be aiming for the lowest price that they can get away with offering.

Iloveacurry · 15/09/2019 08:21

If she’s so keen to sell them individually, suggest to her that she sets up her own eBay account and sell them herself. I assume she’s retired so has all the time in the world to sort, pack and take to the post office.