I think my ds10 is on the autistic spectrum and I can’t cope with him.

[Darksideofthemoon19]

My Ds is nearly 10. He’s a kind,loving boy who is incredibly smart.

When he was 2.5 he was diagnosed with a 12-18 month global development delay.

Due to PND and other issues I didn’t carry on with testing etc for autism.

We’ve moved and changed doctors since then.

He’s coming up for 10 and I’m struggling to live with him. He gets so emotional over every single thing. He shouts at me constantly and doesn’t see how he speaks to us as an issue. He cries 10x a day, anything from me laughing at something funny etc he thinks I’m laughing at him, he thinks I call him fat etc(I never ever have!!)

Tonight he’s had a total meltdown because I asked him to get in the shower. He didn’t want too because “it’s boring and takes too long”. But not in a normally Whiney voice but in a full on crying tears and can’t breath way.

I’m totally sick of having to tip toe around worrying about upsetting him.

I was really enjoying spending sometime with him but he constantly ruins it with his attitude.

His temper is getting ridiculous too. He looks at me like he could kill me one day. I’m not even joking. Which is terrifying as his biological dad was in prison for attacking his mum.

I don’t know what to do. We are all exhausted.

Hi OP

That sounds very tough. My DD2 went through huge outbursts of anger and shouting early last year. She was able to see a Therapist through school for 2 terms which was very helpful. Could your DS’s school help you to access some help?

I am sure others with more expertise and knowledge will post too.

I’m going to contact them, I don’t know where else to ask for help?

Honestly I’m at breaking point. He’s so loving when he’s happy, but when he’s moody hole face changes and I used to say the same about my ex.

He’s so bloody clever, it’s scary how smart he is and I worry that he will do something one day to ruin his life.

He sounds overwhelmed with anxiety and depression. Have you been referred to EWMHS or CAMHS. He clearly needs extra support in some way

No nothing at all, school seems to think he’s fine. 😭

Are you taking out your frustrations with your ex on your son? I'm sure you don't mean to, but that comment sets off alarm bells.

If your son has autism he doesn't have an "attitude", he has difficulty coping with situations that he finds overwhelming.

It sounds like you both need help. Please never compare your son to your ex again.

Does he actually display autistic symptoms?
Have you looked them up?
If yes then ask the doctor for a referral for an asd diagnosis. Depending on your area he may deal with community pediatricians rather than camhs.

In any case go to the gp and ask for some help even if you don't think it is asd.