First proper teenage party!

[Bunnybigears]

12 year old has gone to a 14th birthday party 'Rave' in a Working Mens Club. I am now resigned to fretting until 11pm when his friends mum is dropping him off home! I dont know why I'm posting other than DH is not remotely interested in fretting with me and is being annoyingly laid back about the whole thing. A 13th birthday party with some crossover of friends ended in many drunk 12 year olds last weekend! Luckily DS didnt go to that one!

I assume you are joking 🤔

Why did you let him go!?! Good grief! drunk 12 years olds at the last one would have been reason enough to not allow this.

Its at some kind of social club so I don't think they'll be letting the kids drink alcohol. I wouldn't be concerned. Was the last party at a house? Surely there were at least some adults around at a 13 year olds party?

I let him go because he has not yet given me a reason not to trust him so would seem unreasonable to not let him go on the basis of what some other kids did at a different party. The Club wont serve them so it will only be if they take anything in with them but he is being dropped off and picked up by his friends mum so limited change to get hold of anything unless off other kids once inside. There will be adults there. Surely you have to at some point let them go and trust them to be sensible?

Sorry but 12 is really quite young to be at a 'rave' until 11pm. I don't think it's a question of trust, it's about what is or isn't appropriate. I can't believe you're ok with your DS going to it.

I think I would have been better not starting this thread to be honest as I'm just going to end up having to defend myself all night. A 'rave' for a 13th birthday party is very different to an actual rave!

So why are you fretting if you feel he'll be sensible

I thought you said it was a 14th birthday?

Sorry yes 14th but the same applies it's not really a proper rave. I'm fretting because whilst I am fairly confident he will be sensible there is always the possibility he wont be. The same way when I let him walk home from.school alone in year 5 I fretted the first few times because even though I was fairly confident he would be sensible there was the possibility he wouldnt be. I'm obviously on a different page to most people though

There's a world of difference between walking home on their own in Yr 5 (which both my DC did) and a 12 year old going to a working mens club until 11pm on a Saturday night with a bunch of 14 yr olds 😂 I think you are being a bit naive. OK I get that you trust your DS but why the rush to get involved in teen activities?

I'm sure he'll be fine and come back in one piece but I sure wouldn't want my 12 year old getting into that sort of stuff just yet.

This isn't the typical parental fretting over their children discovering the world on their own. My mum had to be dragged away by my dad when they dropped me off at uni when I was 18 as I'd never been away from home for more than a week before then.

At 12 this is far too much. Even if he is the sensible sort - it's a party with older kids and he is after all still impressionable at 12 regardless of how sensible he is. There's a lot of time for him to go gallivanting in his teens leaving you with legitimate concern for his welfare/whereabouts. This was all a bit too much in my opinion.

That said, I'm sure he'll arrive back in one piece as you said he's being dropped back by another parent. Being out till 11pm is still too much for a 12yr old whatever the activity is.

I'm sure he'll be fine! Not mortal anyway. It's a right of passage.

Well he came back completely sober and covered in UV face paint.

Glad to hear that OP! I hope he had a great night and won't cover his bedsheets in paint!