First time on my own in 30 years

[ColdCiderandCrackers]

Recently divorced & today is the first Saturday I’ve actually been on my own in 30 years.
It feels incredibly lonely. I thought I’d look forward to it.
The sun is shining & I have no one to chat to about the week. Ex & I had to share a house until last weekend when i was able to move out.
I’m in a room in a shared house.
Thinking of trying to get an evening job just to get out of my room.
It’s claustrophobic & sharing a bathroom with 3 men is gross (not to offend but these guys habits are grim).
I’m just thinking how did I get to this point?

You can tell me about your week. I had a shocking one!

I have no car at the moment but have to get to my cleaning jobs. On Thursday it took me 1hr 45 mins to hitch to a job 8 miles away to earn £44 .
I did 25,000 steps that day.
On Wednesday to get to my jobs I took 8 different trains & cycled 20 miles to get to my jobs
My lovely bike was stolen 2 weeks ago & my customer found me sat on her doorstep crying with my cut lock.
On the positive side I have tomorrow off.
I’m alive & think reasonably healthy I just miss chatting- I had a funny experience the other night 😂. I was watching crap TV about 80s pop stars & my Wednesday client was on there dancing in the nude 😀😊.
Just miss that kind of laugh but then I can’t remember the last time I proper belly laughed

It sounds like you've really hit a low OP, is the house sharing going to be a permanent thing?
Also surely there must be a job nearer to you than that, it sounds ridiculously complicated.
Any plans to change things?

I am getting work closer I just need to keep constant work at the moment to keep money coming in. Seeing 2 new potential customers tomorrow so hopefully that will come to fruition.
I think I’m just mentally & physically exhausted.
I’m hoping the room situation will be relatively short term but I had 1 week to leave & had to take what I could. I’m grateful for a roof over my head but it’s not ideal but it’s a roof

Wow that sounds really tough. from me. Can't iimagine having to live in a shared house after being married so long. I hope you can move on to something better soon.

That is really tough OP. Lets hope this is just going to be a temporary situation.
I'm just about to move into a miniscule holiday lodge with my cat while I'm buying a house near my new job for 6 months. It's a ridiculous place to live and God knows what it's going to be like in cold weather. It was the only place I could find where I could take my cat.
But I definitely prefer it to living with 3 blokes ff's.
I do hope things get better for you.

Hi cold I am sat in my house alone as DS is staying at a friend's house tonight. I am alone and it's weird. Exh has never had DS overnight in the 5 years since we separated and he is normally with me. I have been struck with how lonely I am.

How have you ended up in this house? Did you rent previously? Do you have family/kids locally?

@Pieceofpurplesky - we rented previously.
We had it all at one time but due to terrible financial decisions we lost everything.
It’s not that I miss it’s just the everyday rubbish.
For years I’d dreamt of living in a little flat & pottering. Watching what I wanted on tv, walking into town & mooching without having someone to question what was dinner ? What time would I be back ? But now the reality is here I hate it.
I have 2 older DSs who are living their lives.
I got into a shouting match with of the other housemates about a spider the other night.
So trivial but there was a beautiful spider in its web in the kitchen window.
I’m not a spider lover but will put a glass over them & put them outside.
He said ‘I hate spiders ‘
I asked him not to kill it & he swiped it the window & picked up my wine glass & squashed it with the glass.
Probably irrationally I just lost it

No family locally but my 2 DSs do live close by but they are living their lives as they should.
They try but I don’t want to be a burden to them

I used to hate weekend evenings alone

First I got used to them

Now I love them and avoid going out. If I can't avoid it, I hate going. Once there I enjoy it but don't like to be out late. I'm perfectly happy not talking to anyone from Friday to Monday

I've lived alone for over 15 years and you're worried about a Saturday alone. I'm sorry for your situation but after around 700 Saturdays alone I'm struggling to not be a little annoyed at posts like this.

Oh bluetac19 give her a break. It sounds miserable to be in a shared house post divorce. She is allowed to feel shitty right now.

That's not very supportive Bluetac19. Perhaps you have some helpful advice for the OP with so much experience of coping with a tough situation rather than being annoyed by her post.

@Bluetac19 - I don’t know your situation but I know sharing with 3 men with no lock on my bedroom or on the bathroom means I’m feeling miserable.
I’m not sure if you even what to find a partner but if you do I wish you luck & hope you don’t have to reach 800 Saturdays on your own.

Want

You have no lock on your door? That’s way not right. You must have security. Is this a housing association or private rent? If ha get them told to fix it. If not perhaps it’s time to move somewhere nearer to potential work. I don’t know the law about such matters. Good luck. You will get past this and you will get your flat to potter around in, just keep the faith. Sorry you’re having to go through this.

@Bluetac19 your post gives an insight into why your alone.

Op make a plan. Look at how you are going to improve your loneliness. What can you do to get out of this situation?

Thanks. I've just spent nearly 2 hours crying. Sometimes I wonder why I even exist.

Bluetac19 I really hope you feel happier soon.

Bluetac19 to you too. Sorry you are so unhappy. I hope the situation improves for you both soon.