Is recovery possible? *trigger warning referred to eating disorder*

[bakedbeanzontoast]

Or am I fucked? Posting here for traffic. MNHQ please delete if inappropriate.

Long term ED sufferer here. My question I suppose, is probably something that cant be answered until I go to the doctors but still, any insight would be of use. I have an appointment on the 20th but I need to ask for a full blood test so the results from that will take a while. I've had an ED since 2007. I don't look like I do (I used to, very obviously). I'm als o not your typical ED sufferer as I eat, but the same things (I'm also autistic). however I go to the gym every day, without fail and its something I feel I have to do, and I know some of you will know what I mean.

Anyway, I'm now in my mid thirties and haven't had a period since 2007 either. I wonder if I have fucked myself up from ever having a cycle again. I'm frightened to find out, and I've now been banned from donation blood due to 3 low iron tests which have been done across 3 years.

Do you think there is hope? (Please be as nice if you can).

I had a severe ED when I was younger. It lasted 4 years but I've had a couple of less severe relapses since but not for a while now. I used to think that recovery meant that I would go back to how I was before I had my ED but I've since realised that that's not going to happen. I still think about my body and what I'm eating a lot, and by a lot I mean daily BUT it doesn't dominate my life like it used to. It doesn't stop me doing things and even when I have a bad day and feel bad about myself I still go to work, still manage to function. When I was in the grips of my ED normal life just wasn't possible so when I compare my life now, by comparison I suppose I have recovered it just isn't the ’recovered’ that I once imagined.

I would follow up about your periods. I know it might be scary but it's important to check that there is no other cause. For example, I have friends who have developed cysts that have affected their periods. There might be a treatment to help them start again. Worth investigating but I appreciate it's scary for you.

I'm not really sure what I'm saying in all this other than, since I lowered my expectation of what recovery looks like (eg going back to how I was before I had my ED) I've actually felt happier. I accept that I'll always have a complicated relationship with food and my body and whenever I feel like I wish I was more ’recovered’ I think back to the days when I was in the grip of my ED and I feel proud of how far I'm come instead of feeling bad for not coming far enough. Not sure if any of what I've said helps but I wish you all the best with your recovery.

Yes recovery is possible. You know food is your ultimate medicine and the only way through this. Please see your doctor and get your heart and bloods checked. The gym is bad for you right now but it can be a compulsion.

You may find recovery coach a great help. Have you heard of Tabitha Farrar? She's awesome so look for her videos on YouTube. Full recovery is entirely possible with food and possibly some medication and counselling but without full nutritional rehabilitation you won't get long term freedom from this terrible disease. Please find support, we know now eating disorders are both a physical as well as mental issue. Psycho- metabolic I think the term is. Treatment and knowledge has come on quite a bit recently.

Thank you very much for replying to this. I'm going to read properly tomorrow (long day, just came online to acknowledge you!). Thank you again.

Yes recovery is possible. But you need support to do so. Are you under an ED specialist team? Does your doctor know you have an ED?

My DD1 has been anorexic since 2009. After initial 'recovery' she managed to stay off the radar while still horrifically underweight for the best part of 9 years before finally crashing to the point of being admitted, tube fed and finally..finally given the right support. (Interestingly she is also on the autistic spectrum).

She is now the best she has been for many years. With continued support she actually looks well with a low, but acceptable BMI.. she has energy again. This week indeed she managed her first full week at work..she is a doctor (and was admitted to her own hospital which was hard for her, and also tells you a lot about how doctors are expected to keep going..she was a walking skeleton). Her eating patterns are slowly becoming less rigid and she is managing her anxiety. It isn't easy but she's getting there.

But she needed to admit once and for all that she needed help. She's chronically anaemic but has been forever.. even at 5 stone her periods didn't stop, so I would not assume it is definitely down to your ED.. you want to get that checked out by itself.

But yes you can recover !!!

I forgot to mention In my post that I did receive treatment for my ED - I didn't 'recover' on my own. I was admitted to a psychiatric unit for 6 months and have had various therapies over the years including CBT which was brilliant - especially for breaking obsessive thoughts and a actions. I think getting professional treatment is essential to recovery and I highly recommend it.

I have had support and fully recovered from an ED. Lots of therapy.

Thank you everyone. I finally got round to the bloods today so we will see what is what in a week so trying not to think too much about it.

Yes, recovery is possible. Many have through here. Some need other (professional) support alongside but not necessarily.

Thank you, you are all very kind. I come on periodically to look at responses as I find it hard to think about most of the time but I appreciate it