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Original poster

Hand hold please- DH

11 replies

Howmanysleepsnow · 13/09/2019 20:28

DH had a routine hospital appointment today for what our dental thought was an abscess on the inside of his lip. He’d waited 8 months for the appointment. Antibiotics didn’t work.
He has an appointment next week to have it removed and biopsied as it may be cancer. DH wasn’t going to tell me in case I worried (but he obviously did!) I’m trying to act calm...

OP posts:
Original poster
Howmanysleepsnow · 13/09/2019 20:28

Dentist, not dental!

OP posts:
feelingsicknow · 13/09/2019 20:30

There are so many things it could be other than cancer. We've been through a similar scare in the last few months (think, "lumps on three internal organs" type scare).

They mention cancer because they have to. But seriously, there are lots of other possibilities.

hand hold.

feelingsicknow · 13/09/2019 20:34

I didn't mean that to sound cold BTW. I fully understand how terrified you both will be. Cry if you need to but try and stay strong in front of DH. Plus, try and surround yourself with people as much as you can until you find out. Being alone (on Mat leave for me) was the worst. I drove 1.5 hours to my mum's with the baby and the dog almost every day for two weeks until we got the results. It definitely helps not to be alone and stop your mind from going to dark places. X

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Original poster
Howmanysleepsnow · 13/09/2019 20:34

Yes, I’m not convinced it is/ expecting it to be. But I’m blindsided by the consultant’s “obviously you’re worried about cancer”... nope, hadn’t occurred to either of us... and the “we operate within 14 days if we’re concerned, but in your case we need to act quicker than that.”
I don’t really believe it’s a possibility, much less a certainty... but am trying to avoid going into a tailspin...

OP posts:
joystir59 · 13/09/2019 20:36

Try not to worry, but of course you can't help but worry. I hope you get a definite diagnosis really quickly. And I hope it's nothing sinister.

MrsMozartMkII · 13/09/2019 20:40

Handhold from me lass.

feelingsicknow · 13/09/2019 20:57

I can totally empathise. There's nothing I can say which will take the fear and anxiety away, but they are dealing with it promptly and until then, it's very hard.

I was so distressed one day I rang Macmillan support line. We didn't even know if it was cancer, but I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't talk out my thoughts and fears

The man I spoke to was incredibly compassionate and understanding.

Please reach out to someone you can talk to - I'm sure it will help to verbalise some of what you are feeling x

ScatteredMama82 · 13/09/2019 21:11

Handhold from me. I know how worrying it is, I found a lump in my breast a few months ago. I lost my mum to breast cancer when she was just 52, so I was in a complete tailspin, convinced I was dying. I had to wait 2 weeks for a mammogram. I won't lie, it was the longest 2 weeks of my life. It was fine in the end. I think the first couple of days after finding it were the hardest. After that I managed to put it to one side in my head and just get on with things.

All I can say is, tell someone else IRL that you can talk to. It helps massively, and also stops your imagination running away with you.

Keep talking on here too. I started a thread on here about my lump and it really did keep me sane. We're here for you, good luck xx

Pcosmama · 14/09/2019 18:58

Oh there really is nothing scarier than the c word! I lost a close friend to bone cancer when we were 18 and 20 respectively, and became somewhat of a hypochondriac for a while after, but mainly about those around me.

Within the last couple of years ago my other half found a lump on his testicle, my little brother (who was 5) suddenly lost a stone in weight, became very anaemic and was sleeping for about 18 hours a day. Blood tests showed he had a low platelet count and my older sister had a lump in her breast.

In all of these cases, especially my younger brothers (because it took multiple hospitals to diagnose him) the idea of cancer was thrown around by doctors and was a big concern to us all. In all of these cases there was a simple explanation, requiring minimal intervention.

They have to make you aware of the possibilities, but there are many many other things it could be, so please (as hard it is) try not to worry yet.

feelingsicknow · 14/09/2019 19:15

Pcosmama i wish I'd read your account when we were having our scare! It makes so much sense. Thank you.

OP, hope things are going okay today. X

Original poster
Howmanysleepsnow · 14/09/2019 21:45

Today’s been good, been out with dc (youngest is 6, oldest 14). I can’t respond much to posts as don’t want dh to know I’m worried, but I really appreciate each and every one.
Does anyone know how quickly you get results after a biopsy?

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