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Original poster

Help! Another childcare dilemma

34 replies

InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 09:00

Nanny or nursery - WWYD?

We have three children of 3.5, 2 and 16weeks.

We have a three days a week placement for the older two in a nursery close by.

We have just been told “there is no space for your youngest to join us in Jan 2020”.

As of Jan 2020 both DH and I will be working FT.

This means our youngest needs a place for 5 days a week in childcare.

The older two need two extra days (not guaranteed to be provided where they are).

We can:

Have the older children in nursery three days a week
Have a nanny for all three the other two days
Have a nanny for all five days for the youngest

(900/month)

Find a three day week nursery place for youngest
Keep older two on their three days at present nursery
Hire a nanny (share?) for two days

(775/month)

Hire a nanny FT for all three and withdraw children from nursery

(600/month)

The oldest starts school in Aug 2020

Both nurseries are en route to what her school will be.

We are lucky in that money is not the primary decision-swinger here.

I am a big fan of the social interaction and learning the children get at their (very good) nursery, and I wouldn’t want our youngest to miss out on that.

However I feel that a nanny would provide consistency and as the oldest will be at school in a year could do school pick ups instead of having to plonk DD in after school club.

WWYD????

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 13/09/2019 09:04

Nanny with morning preschool sessions for the oldest / middle one when the time comes.

However those figures are very low, where do you live?

Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 09:05

Fucking HELL

Those figures should be per week, I’m a knob.

OP posts:
elaeocarpus · 13/09/2019 09:09

I would the older/eldest in nursery/preschool as it will make the transition to school more consistent and use nanny/share around that

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Childcare & nursery Families
Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 09:15

Agreed, it’s predominantly for the eldest I’m keen to hold onto nursery as well but for my son, the middle one, I’m really wary of causing him distress through too many changes, he really does love nursery

OP posts:
ItsReallyOnlyMe · 13/09/2019 09:17

The best and easiest would be to have a nanny for all 5 days and she then takes the older two to nursery for half days ? The youngest gets the advantage of home care with consistency, the older two benefit from this and the social aspect their ages need, without being in an 'institution' environment for the whole day. Is this possible ? I found (and my children are grown now) that it was best to replicate what would be done if I was a stay at home mother, if possible. Having a nanny all week is much easier for you as well, so you can just leave the house without multiple drop-offs and pickups, important for when the older ones start school.

Hoppinggreen · 13/09/2019 09:20

How about nanny but she takes the older one or even both to preschool a couple of sessions a week, possibly even near to the school they will attend
Preschools are great for preparing dc for full time school but not great for wrap around care or holidays but with a nanny that wouldn’t be an issue. They are often run as charities too so cheaper then nurseries.
Depends on what there is in your area

TequilaMockingbird0 · 13/09/2019 09:21

I was about to ask where you're getting such cheap childcare! Per week makes more sense!

I'm in favour of nursery in pretty much all situations as I think they just prepare children so much better and the reliability for working parents is so much better than a nanny or childminder. Splitting between nursery and nanny sounds complicated in this instance, would you definitely be able to get a nanny to cover the days you need?
What about a nanny for now, get the youngest on the waiting list for nursery and once FT spots come up for youngest and middle then move them to nursery? Assuming that's once eldest has started school. Although I guess then you have the wraparound care for school hours to add in... childcare is a bloody minefield for working parents.

BBBear · 13/09/2019 09:22

If money isn’t a problem go for the first option

The two eldest get to stay in the nursery environment they already enjoy but you have the nanny at home with the baby to cover you for any time the older children can’t go to nursery (illness, emergency closure' etc)

Iggly · 13/09/2019 09:27

Nanny for all three, no question.

If money is no object then go for a nanny. We did because it apparently is the best option in terms of childcare and your kids.

If you work FT having a nanny is a godsend because you don’t have to do any pick ups/drop offs, if your kids are sick, the nanny looks after them.

It was rare that our nanny was ill- more often our kids were the ill ones!

I was so much happier having a nanny knowing that my kids were home and cared for at home. We had our nanny from when our first dc was 1 and I went back to work. She took them to playgroups, she socialised them with other kids and they went to preschool when they were old enough. Basically everything that would have happened if I were at home.

Fatted · 13/09/2019 09:29

Personally, I would go for the nanny. Whatever has the DC going to the same place at the same time is much less stressful for everyone in my experience!

She can always take them to play groups, meet up with other nannies and childminders etc for play dates. So your DC will still socialise with other kids. I've found the childminders I've used have a good social network of other CM and nannies exactly for this reason. And a bit of company for them too I suspect!!

Stompythedinosaur · 13/09/2019 09:38

I would get a nanny, who can take the dc to groups to socialise.

Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 09:47

Nanny appears to be the overwhelming response and I do agree on the consistency factor.

My personal preference is the 2 days/ 3 days arrangement but as I’ve just had an email back from one nursery saying “no space for youngest DD until Aug 2020” I think I know what’s going to happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 10:29

Just out of interest has anyone done the nanny/nursery split and how did that work?

OP posts:
stepmad · 13/09/2019 11:42

A Nanny if you can afford it children go to groups music playgroups meet other children there playdates at others houses.
Children if I'll the nanny will work .
Added bonus the children's washing will be done dentist doctors waiting in for shopping other things thus freeing up your weekend end time
A nanny can focus on the children's interests going to museum's etc

Loopytiles · 13/09/2019 11:45

Nanny, with nanny taking eldest to pre school for part day sessions.

We did a CM/pre school split, she had our youngest all day and eldest for part of day, which we were v v lucky to set up.

Sparrowlegs248 · 13/09/2019 11:46

Couldntyouryoungest take your oldest place at nursery when he starts school?

Loopytiles · 13/09/2019 11:47

IME nursery isn’t great for babies.

Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 13/09/2019 12:01

If only it worked that way @Nottalotta but the rooms are by age as opposed to one in one out universally

OP posts:
RedskyLastNight · 13/09/2019 12:10

Nanny. But put the oldest into pre-school/school nursery on a morning/afternoon/whatever they offer bases with nanny taking them there.
If just makes it more flexible for you all round.

Plus when your oldest does start school next year the nanny can manage whatever awkward settling in routine the school throws at you.

Woolly17 · 14/09/2019 08:12

We've done the nanny nursery split and it is brilliant. DD at nursery 3days a week, 1day with a nanny and a day with Grandma (or unlimited cake day).
Gives a great mix of social interaction with her peers and also the one on one interaction with a nanny (who DD loves). I am now expecting a second so we're changing some of this routine but it really worked for us and we'll probably go back to something similar when I return to work.

flowery · 14/09/2019 08:19

We had a nanny from when DS1 was a year old.

When DS1 was 3 he went to pre school 5 mornings a week. DS2 was then only a few months old. I used to do pre school drop off and nanny would then take DS2 for the morning and also pick up DS1 from pre school. Nanny also did some of the school runs once DS1 started school.

When DS2 was 2, nearly 3, we moved him to nursery.

RandomMess · 14/09/2019 08:48

Having a SAHP and DC to part time pre-school is incredibly common, so Nanny plus part time pre-school shouldn't be an issue?

Plenty of parents juggle part time pre-school plus themselves and grandparents and it all works fine?

Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 14/09/2019 08:54

@RandomMess

We have been through a colossal amount of changes in the past 3 years, the most recent being almost losing our youngest daughter at birth in May. Whilst children are resilient I’m very aware they have been through umpteen changes in their short lives and I’m trying to find the “solution once and for all” to set us up in a pattern and routine for the next 5 years all going well.

It’s heartening to hear a success story about a nanny/nursery mix, we actually have a tour of a nursery on Weds and we hope they will be able to take youngest on the days we need, if that is the case we will then sound out the two nanny agencies local to us to see what their thoughts are on a two day placement

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/09/2019 09:02

If the nursery doesn't work out go with nanny plus keep older ones in nursery (possibly reduce middle child by a day?)

Working full time with 3 DC is a lot! A nanny could be a great asset with nursery chores, sick cover and yes the horrific staggered start to school!

Plus who is going to do before and after school care? Yes school may offer that care but having some days at home to chill more may be better?

If it's the 2 day per week nanny option I guess the tricky part will be getting someone who wants that long term.

Original poster
InfiniteGerbils · 14/09/2019 09:05

Plus who is going to do before and after school care? Yes school may offer that care but having some days at home to chill more may be better?

You got it @RandomMess

That’s the #1 thing that makes me think nanny from the off

OOOH I hate adulting

OP posts: