My son, who is 15, decided about twelve months ago that he wanted to live with his dad.
Since then he has been permanently excluded from school. The one good thing about this is that it has kick started some work with CAMHS who have diagnosed him with autism. ADHD and early onset schizophrenia.
As you can all imagine I am desperately worried about my son and his future. He has been accepted into a support centre for his ongoing education as it has been accepted that he cannot cope in mainstream education.
However his father is useless. DS is not eating properly (they are living on ready meals), sleeping properly (he and his dad sit up until the early hours of the morning). His clothes are dirty and crumpled. He has missed three dentist appointments despite me reminding both of them several times of when they are. He needs two fillings so he does need to go to these. The most recent appointment was supposed to be today and DS text me to say he couldn't make the appointment and could I rearrange it.
I asked where his dad was and he said he was in bed (this was at 2pm). He's not working at the moment. DS says he is in bed until that time on most days.
Yes DS is 15 but he has mental health issues as well as autism and ADHD. He cannot simply be left to fend for himself every day. But DS wants to carry on living there and let me sort out his health/CAMHS/dental/key worker appointments, which then don't happen because my ex-husband "forgets" about them.
DS has admitted that he sees his dad as a friend and not a parent but that he worries about his dad and what would happen if he moved out. I just think that DS needs a proper parent and to be looked after.
I know there is nothing that I can do because of his age and that he is old enough to decide where he wants to live but I can see this situation deteriorating, particularly if he doesn't make sure that DS takes his meds.
I want to speak to DS's key worker but I don't want to alienate DS any more than he is already.
I have no idea what to do.