Daughter crying going to school

[Stephiie]

Hi my 5 year old has just started primary 1 a few weeks ago and she is crying everyday going in she was at nursery for 3 years and she cried everyday going there, every time I spoke to a teacher about it they'd just say aww she'll settle then it was she'll be okay going to school because she'll be in a line with the other children. Just as I thought this isn't the case every morning is getting worse her teacher usually has to take her hand off me and guide her in. This morning we've had to sorta push her in with her screaming I don't want to go to school it breaks my heart i feel so sick leaving the playgroud. I have spoken to the headteacher she advised taking a toy we did this(with no difference) but because she got it took off her at story time she said to me "I'm not taking skye again, what's the point when it'll just get took off me" I spoke to the teacher she said it was because all the boys and girls had a toy and wouldn't listen so they all got asked to put them in their bags but my wee one got very upset about it so was allowed to put it on a table beside her. So I tried explain this to her when we got how but she just kept saying but I wasn't playing I was listening! As soon as she gets home she's so grumpy she screams and cries and is hitting out at me and her sisters. She also has night terrors which were practically non existant during the summer holidays and started again every night since her first day they are also getting longer and more frequently through the night every night. I have found that getting rushed is a trigger for her, like if we need to rush out the door she will strip all her clothes off.. If she's asked to quickly get shoes she'll scream cry say she can't find and and destroy anything in her path.. Also I really don't know if she'll handle christmas concerts at school in nursery she only joined in on her leaving concert but there was only about 20 parents there, she never sang but sat on stage all the other times she's not even made it to the stage the school hall is always packed at Christmas concerts so I really don't know how she'll handle it.

I'm so sorry for the long post just looking for any advice even if you think it's a long shot

This sounds like my youngest. Now year one and it's never really got better.
We try to be very matter of fact about it "it's a school day, you have to go to school I'll be here to collect you at the end of the day" quick hug and off they go. Sometimes 'helped' along by the teacher!
I am reliably informed they are fine once they're through the door but my goodness it's exhausting. I feel like a total failure as a parent because no one else seems to do this past the first couple of weeks.
I'm hoping it will just one day stop.
And I really just came to say hang in there, you're not the only one.

Couple of ideas, a little toy for moral support in a coat pocket. Even sew it in for security.
I also took dd to a market stall to buy a selection of little buttons to sew on the inside of her clothes. She could give it a little squeeze if she needed a hug from mum feeling and no one would know. I once saw her doing it in class unaware anyone could see her.

Your post reminded me do much of my eldest.

Has the teacher said anything about how your DD is during school time? She sounds quite anxious. Are school doing any interventions or small group work to help her?

Is Primary 1 her first or second year of full time school? How was she last year?

I hope school becomes easier for your girl.

Please don't be fobbed off by school. A child can look "fine" but really they are simply keeping it together "masking". Please look at notfineinschool.org and their Facebook group if you do social media. School should be taking this seriously and OP you say your DD didn't settle at nursery either. For that reason I would definitely be requesting a meeting with the SENCO. Anxiety about and in school school and separation anxiety ARE a special educational need as they prevent a child from accessing the curriculum to their full potential.

The SENCO lead at my DD's school was thankfully her Year 1 teacher. Her Reception teacher was shite - barely in for "childcare reasons " but her Year 1 teacher really helped. She flew ahead after that.
My pal's little boy is a lovely confident little lad and you wouldn't know how tearful he was for school to start off.