What's the kindest way of dealing with this?

[KitKat1985]

It's DD1's 5th birthday today. Every year on one of the DDs birthdays DH's nan (I.E, our DDs great-nan) gives the girls a card with some money in. She's well into her 80's now and clearly getting more confused. When we opened DD1's card pile this morning we realised DH's nan has accidentally sent her two cards, both with £10 in, obviously having written the second after forgetting she had already written one. I genuinely don't know whether it's kinder to return one of the £10 notes or whether that would just be embarrassing for her? But I feel uncomfortable keeping two lots of birthday money for DD when one set was obviously given in error.

If she’s starting to get confused over money I would use this as a gentle and non-judgmental opportunity to talk to her about power of attorney. It could be easy for her to be scammed in the future and if that happens people can be defensive or refuse to address it. Or if she has to take daily medication, making sure she’s getting repeat prescriptions etc. I think it signals she could do with a little bit of help from her family.

Maybe suggest that your DD takes GG out for tea with the £10?

Yes I would return it, and explain that she sent two by mistake.

I'd tell her. £10 might be a lot of money for her. I've inadvertently sent my DIL two birthday cards (not with money in) forgetting I'd posted the first. I told her to keep the second one for next year to save on postage. 😉 Oh and I'm not elderly and confused, just a busy woman with a million thingd going on, trying to remember everything at once.

Thanks for the advice. DH and his nan aren't that close (long story of family disagreements) but things are amicable but he only sees her 3-4 times a year so I don't think we're the people to talk about POA. We could mention it to DH's dad though.

Agree with the first comment, she could easily fall into a scam if shes is showing memory problems. Speak to somebody close to her that you can trust, and give them the £10 to decide what to do with it