Abortion, years ago, do you revisit?

[hetookthecorkscrewtoo]

I was 'made' to have 2 abortions as a 20 -24 year old by a very strict mum and boyfriend who had a family wit
hvery strict ideas about who was suitable, not black, mental illness etc.
10 years on and I still struggle because I mourn those children. How do I get over it and not want to search them and him out?

Have you had counselling?
How is relationship with parents now?

No contact with ex or family, I was blocked

It’s difficult because it wasn’t your choice.

I had an abortion over 20 years ago but it was very much my choice and although I have definitely felt sad about it at times or wondered what might have been. I’m completely ok with my choice and know that it was for the best. I’m not sure if it would be as straightforward to feel this way if I’d been forced into it.

The first step is to accept that you can’t change the past so the only thing you can do is move forward. There is nothing to be gained from seeking out your family or the ex-boyfriend. Confronting them won’t make what has happened unhappen. Perhaps you could write a letter to each of them saying what you need to say and then destroy the letters as a way of starting the process of letting go of the anger you are holding inside of you.