marriage, have done my time

[Sararhys1]

Hi guys , I have been with my husband for over 24 years we have a daughter 19 and son 18 , over r the years life hasn't been easy what with , miscarriage, bad luck, daughters cancer and sons neurological illness. I have come to a time in my life that I'm unhappy in my marriage my husband is someone who is very needy always wanting sex or attention. and phoning me always asking were I am or how long will I be . even now we are planning to go aboard for the first time together "which I'm dreading " he planning everything instead of just going with the flow . I dont know what has happened to me lately but I dont care any more about us I dont want to done anything with him or even explain how my day has been . I am constantly think what it would be like living alone with the kids planning things in my head .I know deep in sode I will go but do feel guilty for thinking this and worrying how my daughter will react.
life is hard guys. x

Sorry you are unhappy.
You do know that at 18 and 19, your kids will not be living with you much longer?
Also, having travelled a lot, it is actually wise to plan some things out. If you are worried it’s to hectic a schedule, a pattern we always do is an activity day followed by a rest day.

Could you consider counselling for you two? It seems to me that you’ve both weathered more than your fair share of crises and now are facing an empty nest with a “what now” type of feeling. Something brought you together and kept you together through some really rough times. Maybe you can rediscover that?

I totally see were your coming from but I have been feeling like this for many years , as for my children its not the fact they will flying the nest I dont want my daughter to hate me ......

Hi OP. Your daughter won't hate you, and I would guess she has a pretty good idea how you're feeling. If you really want out for your own sanity, she'll be there for you.

As for your husband, is it just neediness? Does he control you as well? I'm thinking of tactical illnesses to stop your nights out, concealing finances, threatening behaviour. I'm guessing he's too wimpy for actual violence. Might be an idea to move this to Relationships.

when we first started dating I was very quite and suppose weak, and was like that for years then I realized that I'm ME .... after everything we have been through it's made me stronger . it feels like the role has reversed in our relationship. he says horrible things about my mental health that really upset me , I'm just done with it all now I have tried but guilty for feeling like this some days a nice but the bad days are more if that makes sense....