"If you had been in a Coma for years would you want to wake up...

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..or is it better for your family if you don't?"

This is the really random snippet of conversation I have just overheard as 2 blokes walked past my window.

Initially I thought well obviously I would want to wake up as I would want to see my family and friends and I would hope they would be happy I was no longer in a coma. However, the more I think about it, it almost seems fairer not to wake up?

Surely it would be incredibly difficult to find your place back in everyone's lives when their lives had moved on for the years you had been in a coma. Plus if you had been in a coma for years then surely the likelihood is you would have lots of additional medical needs which could put a huge strain on your family?

Anyway rather than just wonder aloud to the cats, who are not being very talkative. I thought I'd ask here as it sounded like a good topic of discussion and I would look like a loon if I went after the 2 blokes to find out their opinions.

Of course it depends how able I'd be. Unable to move and completely dependent on people even to wipe my arse, unable to swallow etc then no

This is such a British concern. "Oh no I mustn't wake up because I might be a nuisance."

I come from a more selfish tribe. I would want to wake up as long as I could have a decent quality of life afterwards. My family could deal with it.

I imagine the conversation came about because of today’s news story about Michael Schumacher.

If he can awake and regain most of his mental and physical ability he has everything to gain because of his lovely family and his family must dearly want him back.

If I could wake up and be completely as I was, then yes. I would be very pissed off to wake up and find my husband married to someone else though or to find I'd lost a parent or something.

If I could wake up and be normal, I'd want to - but given the level of disability likely to ensue I'm not sure I'd want to, both because I wouldn't want to live like that and because I wouldn't want to be a burden.

I always think it would be better to die than be in a coma for a long time. Schumacher has been in a coma for what... 6 years. Better to be dead.

"Oh no I mustn't wake up because I might be a nuisance."

Its not just that I feel I would be a nuisance although your right it is a very British way of thinking about it. For me I think the biggest hurdle is I cannot imagine waking up and having a huge hole in my life where I had missed years of seeing family grow up and the world changing all whilst I had not been aware of it. It would be pretty difficult to just pick up where you had left off before being in the coma.

I imagine the conversation came about because of today’s news story about Michael Schumacher.

Oh I hadn't seen the story about him, its been a long time since his accident I hope he's making good progress.

Yes I would definitely want to wake up - I do think it would be hard though, have you watched Manifest? Basically the premise is a plane load of people disappeared for 5 years, presumed dead, then out of the blue the plane lands fine, like no time has passed. One of the characters finds her fiancé has married her best friend 😬

sorry - not in a coma, but basically unable to communicate properly or walk. I'd still rather be dead!

I’d want to wake up if fully able. I’d also fully expect that a lot of people in my life would have moved on - my DP would have met somebody else, for example. And I suppose there’d be an element of feeling bad for the likely guilt they’ll feel about that because, you know, in the movies, your loved ones basically sit at your bedside for a decade and wait for you to wake up; they don’t just eventually get on with their lives.

I had a family member wake up after months in a coma.

Sadly it was only a temporary respite and they still died.

As a family we utterly treasured those precious times when we had them back, however brief.

They did too.

Hercules I came on to write a response to the thread but got distracted by your post, it's lovely you got that extra time together

Thank you @BishopFrownofStThigh it was amazing actually.

We were told they were brain dead and in a deep deep coma with nothing but the most basic life instincts - ie able to breathe independently - and that everything else was gone.

As it turns out they were still in there, able to hold a lucid and relevant conversation etc. It was remarkable, albeit just for a few hours.

Hercules how wonderful and precious. Sorry it didn't last longer.

Oh Hercules that was a lovely post. I'm so glad you got extra time with your loved one.

I’d also fully expect that a lot of people in my life would have moved on

That's certainly the part I think I'd struggle most with. How long in years can you reasonably expect someone to put their life on hold. As horrible as it would be t wake up and find they had moved on would it be worse to expect everyone t put their lives on hold.