Possible autism

[CJL111]

Hi, is it possible to be slightly autistic. I'm worried about my son, he is 7. He's got an obsession with the weather, and dates and times. He also hates getting his haircut and is very fussy with food. Apart from all this, he is a very loving little boy and loves kisses and cuddles, has plenty of friends at school, and is a member of a gymnastics club, which he loves. Just wondered if there was the possibility that there was something lingering, or am I just being paranoid??!! Thanks for any advice!

I know what you mean by 'sightly' autistic, though no medic would think of it in that way. It's a spectrum, and ranges from people who are unable to tolerate normal life - can't speak at all, can't eat any textured food etc to HFA (high functioning autism) people who function very well within the world - marry, have children, hold down jobs, but for whom neurotypical behaviour is not instinctive and must be learned.

So what you're asking could be rephrased as: might my son have HFA? He might. Or he might have sensory processing issues. Similar but not necessarily connected. One thing that makes me think it's unlikely is you say he has lots of friends. Most autistic children, however HF, struggle to make friends. How friendships work and ebb and flow is a mystery they can't fathom. Long before my DS was diagnosed we knew he had no friends at all. He was kind to other children. He didn't collar them and talk at them like some autistic children do. He just didn't quite fit in some inexplicable way that neurotypical children have of nosing out and snubbing autistic ones.

(I should add that he's now at secondary school that has a high intake of autistic students and he has plenty of good friends, both on the spectrum and neurotypical.)

Our experience was that at a state primary, HFA isn't often picked up. Children can be good at masking. And there are often children with more apparent SENs. If he's meeting average targets academically and has friends, why would school be concerned?

Unless he is having notable difficulties, I'd leave him for now Keep an eye on him. If he starts to struggle with social interaction you could go for a test (about £600.)

As @CarolDanvers has said, they keep changing the terminology. Afaik, HFA is still used, it's Aspergers they now refuse to use (another term for HFA. Lumping it all together as 'autism' is a gross disservice to children with hugely differing needs and levels of care.
My son needed a lot of social interaction guidance and some help with associated processing issues, both mental and physical. But other children are locked into a nightmarish world of constant sensory overload. It's ridiculous this new idea that one size fits all. It fits no one.

milliefiori I completely agree. As I mentioned in my post, think of the adults we all know who are most likely on the spectrum. They might present as anti social/introverted, struggle to read people; yet function "typically" in society. Labelling those people "the same" as people who are severely affected just confuses the condition for everyone, and surely takes support away from the ones who need it most?

If you do decide to go for an assessment and tell people, please bear in mind that school, the SENCO, many of your friends and family and everyone else with an opinion who is also not qualified to diagnose autism is likely to tell you your concerns are unfounded because in their eyes he's "fine"

However, ignore all of them, because their opinion is irrelevant. None of them are qualified to diagnose.

Some GPs sadly aren't as clued up as they could be about the variety of autistic presentation.

You'll be asked about his early development, have a look at the MChat-R online test and try and think back to when he was 2 and see what the score is. These are typical of the questions you'll be asked when providing a history of his early development. If you have other children and have noticed his behaviour is markedly different to theirs at certain stages, make a note of it.

Lots of people don't understand the autistic spectrum, there are lots of myths and fallacies, these two links explain it a lot better than I can.

the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

theaspergian.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

The waitlist for NHS diagnosis is 18 months to 2 years in a lot of areas, so the sooner you start asking for a referral from your GP, the sooner he'll be assessed.

More info from the NAS www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx

You may find as the demands at school increase the wheels start to come off as masking gets harder for them
This is so true, it's doubly hard if you have to start the referral process at this stage and it can happen at any age, there's no set time.

Also, if you notice he appears to be immature in some situations, this is great advice.
DS neurologist advised that as a general rule of thumb we should deduct a third off his chronological age and this would give us an indication of what sort of social and emotional stage he is at.

It's understandable that a lot of people reject the ;you are or you aren't' model because there are huge differences among people with autism. Some will never be able to live independently; massive sensory issues, non-verbal, strong tendencies to lash out when overwhelmed - while others can pretty much pass for 'normal' (though it can cost them; apparently it can be very tiring and distressing to keep up the performance all the time).
DS has always had friends - but they have always nearly all been autistic themselves. One of the reasons I thought he probably wasn't was because some of the behaviours I noted from him being about 6/7 were things I thought he had just picked up from being close friends with three other boys who all had diagnoses of autism (the stimming, for instance). One thing that does seem to be really good for kids with the high-functioning type of autism is hanging out with other autistic kids.. Because it's that huge relief of finding 'someone who is like me and who understands.'

What we also do is keep a list of 'cool people with autism'. Chris Packham, for instance. Einstein. Gary Numan (80s pop star for those of you too young to have heard of him). Various mates of mine that DS knows and liked.

I think it's normal to be unsure if you are barking up the wrong tree before you begin the diagnostic process and during it. Many people talk about the relief of getting a diagnosis for their child as they weren't sure they would.

Given the age of your son I would guess that he doesn't present as different as some people with autism, but that doesn't mean he isn't. Equally he could have one or more autistic traits (which can be very helpful in life!) but not autism.

An educator once said to me that if parents think something is wrong (I prefer different), there usually is.

Many, many people went through life without a diagnosis until very recently. Lots still do, especially girls. It is possible .

I was amazed how the diagnosis processed teased out my DS's autistic traits. It was a real eye opener as to how autistic he was!

I will just say too that some of the things I love about him most are definitely autistic traits, but unless you think about it you don't think about them as being that, they are just part of him.

I was absolutely clueless that DS had autism. I suspected his brother might have (he hasn't) but never DS2. But the in-depth test showed up so many indicators I knew nothing about. E.g. He never learned to crawl properly. He had severe gastric problems as a baby. He never slept as a baby and cried all the time. He refused almost all food and it took 200-500 introductions to new food before he'd tolerate trying it, instead of the usual 20 attempts for weaning neurotypical babies.

Just to chip in with how differently autism presents, my almost 5 year old has classic autism, and is non verbal and still in nappies.
He makes eye contact with family and strangers, he has no problems with food (colours of textures), he enjoys cuddles and seeks affection, he is gentle and never lashes out, he cries for about two minutes if he is told no, (he's never had a 'meltdown'), he doesn't have sensory issues with clothes or lights, although he doesn't like hand dryers..
He has no problems with his coordination or balance, although he mainly walks on his tiptoes. He doesn't injure himself or others. He sleeps for 10 hours solid every night.
He is absolutely disabled by it though, and unless he was stimming a person would have no idea he has autism just by looking.

• colours OR textures.

I think there are lots of autistic traits in him but also a lot of things that aren’t, will speak to GP. Thanks again

See this and other articles on Google:

link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41252-017-0021-9

There is speculated to be the broad autism phenotype, where people exhibit sub clinical symptoms to varying degrees.