Child sleeping in parents bed

[Cruddles]

We've got a DS just turned 3. Each night he's put into his own bed, in his own room, at bedtime. But by 11pm he's in bed with us. We should have nipped this in the bud when he was younger but for whatever reasons we didn't. We all sleep well with the three of us in bed.

What i wanted to ask is, for those who have been in a similar situation how did your child end up staying in their own bed, did they grow out of sharing with mum and dad or did you have to force the issue?

We co-slept with our eldest until she was 3.5. We talked about how one day she would sleep all night in her own bedroom. We did the same as you from about 8 months, she would go to bed in her room and then come in to us at some point during the night.

Then one day at 3.5, she just announced that she was going to be a ‘big girl’ and sleep all night in her own room. And she did. The first week sleep was more disrupted and she did wake and needed us there to fall back to sleep. But after that, totally fine. She’s 6 now and has slept mostly great since.

It was truly no big deal. I wish I hadn’t worried as much about how we would make that transition because when the time came, she was ready and it was really easy.

I think keep talking about it so it’s always an option he could choose if he wanted, but I would just wait until it feels like the naturally right time. We have an 18 month old who sleeps with us now and I’m in no rush for him to go anywhere yet. It will happen eventually.

I think I probably win the co-sleeping crown here. My two are 11 and 7 and still sleep in my bed. The 11yo does sleep in her room about half the time but the 7yo had never slept in her own bed. She has her own room, albeit a tiny one, but she doesn't like sleeping in it or sleeping alone.

It doesn't bother me either way, it's not doing them any harm and it's their choice, they have other options available to them.

My husband is currently building a bunk bed with a double on the bottom because we can’t stop our youngest coming through and she won't stop kicking us so then we can’t sleep.

So our solution has been buying a bed one of us can move into when she comes through.

Sorry, that probably doesn’t help you but you have my sympathies!

Our 4 (nearly 5yo) sleeps with us. I sort of want to stop it but also enjoy the snuggles. She is all arms & legs though. We do need to tackle it but I'm hoping it sorts itself out now she's starting in reception

I feel better about it now I've seen this thread!

No human sleeps through the night. How would you stop a child from waking? Chloroform?

Clearly this has become habit- if you want to you have to break the habit. If it works for you great, I was just saying that would be my only concern.

My ds1 stopped at around 4... the same age his little brother was born. Worked out quite perfectly! Ds2 will probably be in with us until he's older, he loves a snuggle/gorging on milk every night!

My DD1 had stopped coming into our bed every night by 3 or 4 and then stopped coming in occasionally by about 7.

My DD2 is 4 and comes in occasionally. Earlier in the year she was in every night.

No force required for either. We couldn't have forced it as we both slept through them appearing in our bed. Apparently I can haul a small child over me in my sleep.

DD2 is a bit wriggly, so DH was woken sometimes later in the night. DH would then switch to her bed. So my main advice is to make sure your DD has a bed that you'd be happy to sleep in.

I'll never understand co sleeping unless a child in poorly. Where is the intimacy if you have a little person in bed with you. Never shared a bed with any of mine and never intend too unless ill.

Where is the intimacy if you have a little person in bed with you.

Where’s your imagination?

We did a reward chart which I didn’t think would work as I didn’t think it was that conscious but it has. Three weeks in and she’s not woken up and come into our bed once!

My youngest is nearly 6 and still comes in with us most nights. His brother is 11 and both of them are in with me tonight because their dad is working away. It's a pain in the arse but they will grow out of it eventually and I don't think I'm going to get to have anymore so I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm so relieved to hear that this happens in other families too. Our DD is 7 and still comes in with us every night. She'll go down in her own bed fine ( we need to read her a story and sing to her. She won't fall asleep on her own) but wakes up at one point during the night and comes through to us. She kicks, punches and lies with her legs stretched in all directions. When we ask her why she doesn't sleep through , she'll say she 'wants cuddles' and that it's not fair her dad and I get to cuddle without her. She also thinks we're warmer. Additionally, we have a baby and have been much stricter about him sleeping in his cot. He sleeps through at 18 months which is something she never did.

When we ask her why she doesn't sleep through , she'll say she 'wants cuddles' and that it's not fair her dad and I get to cuddle without her.

Smart cookie.

I reluctantly let our DD sleep in with us from about 4 months because she woke every 2 hours until she was 1.5 years and I was exhausted, greeting out of bed was just one more hassle.

She continued to sleep in with us most nights until she was 3, occasionally until 4 and then stopped completely of her own accord as she started to sleep through reliably.

I wouldn't do it again because looking back none of us actually slept properly - with her kicking covers off, spinning in her sleep, kicking and punching us through the night and her whinging when she bumped into us 🙄

My youngest DS rarely slept the whole night in his own bed. He stopped coming into our bed when he was about 10ish.

I figured he wouldn't be doing it at 18, well I hoped he wouldn't! He's now 13 and still comes in on a morning for a debrief of the nights sleep/dream and a cuddle.

His argument was that why should me and his Dad sleep together & he had to sleep on his own, which was a fair point.

I did have a lot of dreams involving hanging off a cliff edge

Eldest DS very rarely did unless he was poorly and actually got more mad with his brother for the constant bed hopping than we did.

We've got one of these... DS is almost 4 and goes to sleep in his own bed but will come into us every night/very early morning and go back to sleep. DD (2) comes in about 10 minutes before my alarm goes off for a cuddle.

They like cuddles, I like cuddling them. Everyone's a winner.

I love it. I dread the day it ends.

Mine slept with us for years, we were OK about it but worried a bit that if anyone found out, they'd think it 'odd'. Now I've read this thread I can see it isn't odd, it's natural. Whoopee!

My dc grew out of coming into our bed in time. I am happy that I let them have the reassurance of sleeping with us when they wanted it.