Should I rehome my cat?

[sadlycindy]

My cat is a beautiful big male maine coon. He is 8 years old. I have had him since he was a kitten and love him to bits. Unfortunately my husband is allergic to him. We have been together for 5 years now, and DH has to take his inhalers every day because my cat brings on his asthma. He also gets itchy eyes and runny nose.

I did feel bad about this from day 1 of him moving in, but couldn't bear to part with my cat. Now I am worrying about what this continued reaction is doing long term to my husband.

To add to it, I have a DS now and feel like I have no time to myself, but as soon as I do, my cat is demanding my attention. He is constantly miaowing because he wants fed, or wants fresh food, or wants something else. He does my head in on a regular basis and I am constantly irritated... yet I still love cuddles with him, and I love him. He is also quite temperamental and has clawed my DS on a few occasions when we have not been fast enough to stop DS from annoying him.

We also have a dog, which I do not like. This is my husbands since before we were together. I don't like her, I can't help it, but I have no feeling other than irritation about her. I don't want to get rid of my cat, who I love and then the dog stays. I know I am not allergic to her, but equally, I am the one that feeds her, takes her out in the day (otherwise she pisses and shits on the floor, despite having used the dogflap fine for years) makes sure she has water and has to put up with her all day (I am a sahm). My husband refuses to rehome her. I really don't like how much I don't like her. I think I am just worn down, and resent having to care for her too...I don't feel good about not liking her

Rehome the partner and his dog.

Job done.

how have you managed to determine its the cat that hes allergic to, and not animal fur in general?
Most people who are allergic to cats, are allergic to furry animals. You might end up getting rid of your cat, to find that he still has exactly the same problem except he gets to keep his dog that you do all the caring for, conveniently.

on the plus side, your maine coon would probably be very easy to rehome. I would love one

God, another case of now I have a baby I have zero interest in my pet. Sigh. Put your tin hat on.

Get rid of your husband! It sounds like even the dog is doing more in your household than your husband. What exactly does he bring to your life?

No way would the cat be going if his dog is staying . It’s not the cats fault that he scratches your child if the child is annoying it . Does your partner take antihistamines as that would make sense .

I feel so sorry for the dog especially who must be aware of your animosity. Best to rehome both animals - if you can . Shelters are bursting at the seams .

Rehome your cat, it’s obvious that you’re going to despite what anyone on here says, just make sure you do it through a reputable charity, Cats Protection. Celia Hammond etc.

Do not put him up for sale or free to a good home on any online selling site. It is a sure way for him to end up as dog bait.

Don’t expect him to have a space immediately as rescues are full to overflowing with discarded pets and it’s likely there will be a waiting list.

If he’s a pedigree you could try asking one of the Maine Coon breed clubs for help with rehoming.

None of these issues are your cat's fault. You made a commitment. Getting rid of a beloved pet because it's no longer convenient is a shitty thing to do and you know it.

I couldn't sleep at night knowing my cat was living in a cage at an animal shelter because I'd lost interest in him.

@Cohle I have not lost interest in my cat. Please get off your high horse and stop judging me. I don't know if I even could rehome him...if it were so easy for me, don't you think I would have done it already?

@Therewere5inthebed I am not going to rehome him regardless of what anyone says. Yet, another person judging me. I am genuinely seeking advice as I can't bear to part with him but I am worried about my husbands health. I can't even put him in catteries when we go away because I hate the thought of him being in a cage, so I wouldn't be able to hand him over to cats protection, it would need to be someone I knew and trusted.

@MrsRufusdog789 I know, I feel sorry for her too. I wish I felt differently about her. My husband won't rehome her though.

@Floralnomad he does when he gets very itchy and sneezing, but it does nothing for his asthma. It's his asthma that worries me, my cat affects his breathing. I hear him taking his inhaler in the morning and I feel so guilty.

@Soola and @HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone I love my husband, and no, he doesn't pull his weight when it comes to the dog. I feel resentful that it is left to me to make sure she has food and water when it's not my dog and I don't like her. He does more than pull his weight in other ways though, so I try not to sweat it too much.

@BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack nice name. How very unhelpful and judgemental, I'm glad your comment made you feel better though.

@Branleuse he has had blood tests and his is massively allergic to cats. I know. he would be so easy to rehome but I don't know if I can do it. I just feel so guilty hearing my husband struggling to breath, yet I love my cat so much.

Yes re-home the cat. It doesn’t sound a great life for it but you can get him out of it.

God knows why you feel sorry for your dh taking an inhaler in the morning though. If he’s struggling to breathe surely he needs an asthma review?.

God, another case of now I have a baby I have zero interest in my pet. Sigh. Put your tin hat on.

bearing in mind she'd kept the more difficult pain in the arse dog that she doesn't even like, how have you worked this out?

OP how old is the cat how much lnger is it likley to live?

I'd suggest putting my foot down about the dog, he actually takes care of it or you leave.

Once that has been sorted you won't have so much to worry about pet wise.

Can you get a better vacuum with a good filter?

@Fluffycloudland77 what would an asthma review do? It can't stop him being allergic. I don't mean to sound rude I'm genuinely interested.

I did actually ring up an asthma advice line a year back and they said that he should be prescribed sone sort of nasal thing to stop the allergen getting into his nose, and that should reduce the asthma symptoms. I might push him to have a review if they could do they, he's just very difficult to get him to go to the doctors and he doesn't like to think that I'm controlling him. I know I know!

have you looked at or tried petal wipes you get them from zooplus they are wet wipes that take the dander out of the cats fur as there is an enzyme that some cats produce in the fur that is what causes the allergic reaction, and wiping the cat with these reduces the triggers, my husband is allergic to cats luckily not as badly as yours so he tolerates them as long they dont come too close to him, and everyday hoovering with a good hoover, and shampooing carpets with a vax shampooer (cheap in argos) helps to keep the allergens down too

It’s an appointment at your doctors asthma clinic where they discuss the effectiveness of your medications, how often you use them, how you use them too because patients don’t always use inhalers correctly and the medication doesn’t make it into the chest in sufficient quantities.

He’s not going to get anywhere long term with a condition like asthma if he doesn’t attend the doctors. A lot of asthmatics are also entitled to free flu vaccinations & they get rolled out about now. His gp surgery will have ordered & paid for his vaccination regardless of him requesting it so if he is eligible he should go & get vaccinated.

As asthma review is a check of the medication you're on. You're supposed to have them yearly. There's a checklist which covers things such as how many times in the last week you've been short of breath, and how many times you've used your inhaler, and then they check the peak flow. This determines how well your asthma is being managed. Two years ago my steroid dose was increased, last year I was put onto a completely different inhaler.

I don't think you should rehome the cat. Your DS will learn how to behave around the cat, and your DH can manage his condition.

he's just very difficult to get him to go to the doctors and he doesn't like to think that I'm controlling him. I know I know!

Well, if he can't be arsed to go to the doctor he can't be that ill. I wouldn't get rid of the cat I loved and be bitter that I was stuck with a grotty old dog ducks if he can't be bothered to speak to his GP even.

Limit cat to downstairs only (so DH gets hours away from the allergens every night), keep cat to hard floor areas and mop often, and use a HEPA air filter ioniser thing to reduce the airborne allergens.

You need to sort out the dog impasse - I think your DH needs to step up really, he can't just insist the dog stays and not do his bit. He's treating you as a bit of a doormat. Don't roll over and give away your cat so you can concentrate on his dog.

You sound fed up, and I doubt DH dumping all the dog's care on you helps you feel supported too. Agree with PP your cat can't be making him that ill if he cba to go to the Dr's about it and he can't be sure it's the cat not the dog or both - allergies can develop, things you weren't allergic to can crop up out of the blue.

Re: practical advice. I'm asthmatic with a cat, not sure how much she contributes to it as it's not bad and I've had it since childhood and we didn't have pets. Things that work for us is not allowing the cat in my bedroom at all, opening windows throughout the house whatever the weather, hoovering regularly, damp cloth dusting, brushing the cat outside, if possible when decorating in future try to get hard flooring. We also have a really good (large!) hepa air purifier (iirc it was a recommended product on the British allergy foundation website) it was anout £150 new a decade ago has changeable/washable filters and it really helps when my sister pops round as she's definitely allergic to my cat.

Why don’t you like the dog? You knew he had the pets, why live with someone when you clearly don’t like animals.
You sound pretty nasty.

www.strawberrypersianpedigreecatrescue.co.uk/

I would get your husband to an asthma review before I'd rehome the cat. It might be that there's something different that could be done to help him. And I'd also get him to look after his own dog. It's no wonder you resent it if it's been dumped on you. Those would be my first two steps. Then see where you are with it all before you make any big decisions.

And you don't sound nasty at all. Some of the other posters on here though...

Well I have made him an appointment for a review. I asked him last night about him taking his inhalers and he says he only takes them morning and evening as told to by asthma nurse, so I've been worrying over nothing I think.

I've bought some of that petal stuff for my cat so thanks for the recommendation.

We do have hard floors everywhere because of his allergy and keep the cat out the bedroom.

Thanks for the support kind people (not to the judgemental ones - why be so horrible?). I'm getting to keep my cat

Asthma meds can change, dh was on two for years when the asthma review showed he’d benefit from a stronger type and it’s made such a difference to his breathing.

He’s still allergic to our cat though.

Yes I don't think that can change sadly. When I rang the asthma helpline last year, they mentioned a type of nasal spray that he should've been on to actually prevent the allergen getting into his airways. She said he should've on that as that stops it before it can cause the reaction. From my notes last year she recommended avamys nasal spray and MONTELUKAST