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Original poster

Unsure about schoolday birthday..

20 replies

ArthurMorgan · 10/09/2019 21:34

Hi there, my dd is turning 5 in a couple of weeks but her birthday is on a Wednesday, so a school day. Basically, I don't know what to do for her.

She's not really enjoying school as it is and she's also understandably exhausted by it all.

If I give her some presents in the morning it'll be even more of a stress getting her to school but if I wait until after she won't have long before she needs to go to bed (about 6 since school started)..

We want to do something nice for her at the weekend, I don't know what yet as money is stretched more than usual this month and my sil has just had a baby so the usual get together is more or less off the cards or minimised at least (they have 3 kids now so they won't all fit in my car like previously)

I really wish I could just give her the day off and make the usual day of it!

What do you all do with your kids weekday birthdays?

OP posts:
rhowton · 10/09/2019 21:37

Maybe she will be "poorly" on her birthday!! She may appreciate a relaxed morning opening presents with a day of doing things with you! I always had my birthday off with my parents until I was a bit older and wanted to spend the day with friends!

Cuddlysnowleopard · 10/09/2019 21:39

It is actually worth asking your class teacher (if this is your eldest DC) to see what they do in school. We usually followed a routine of:

Presents before school over breakfast;
Badge to wear at school so everyone makes a fuss;
Bag of sweets to hand out by the door at pickup;
Special birthday tea and cake for family, maybe a close friend;
Treat or party at weekend after.

BikeRunSki · 10/09/2019 21:39

My DC have always woken up at the crack of dawn on their birthdays, and have had plenty of time to rip open their presents.

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Foxyloxy1plus1 · 10/09/2019 21:41

She’ll going to have more weekday birthdays than weekend ones. I don’t think it’s a good idea to set a precedent for having a day off on her birthday. Especially as she’s having a bit of a problem settling.

School day birthdays can be fun too!

TeenPlusTwenties · 10/09/2019 21:42

As Cuddly says, except we did some presents before school and some after.

bathorshower · 10/09/2019 21:44

Do check about handing things out at school - we are specifically asked not to, but you may not have been told the rules yet!

chipsandgin · 10/09/2019 21:45

I wouldn’t take her out - it sets a massive precedent & is a total pain for teachers (& other kids parents who then have to explain why they don’t get to do it!). Also instils the idea that going to school is optional - which isn’t a great idea, my SIL lets her 9 year old take days off willy nilly & he’s now really struggling- both with keeping up & her mixed signals about having to go the rest
of the time.

Maybe have a special dinner at home, favourite foods, balloons & lots of fuss on the day. As they get older a cheap meal out is nice (meerkat 2for1, Giraffe kids eat free, using Tesco points..etc, when we’re utterly skint we go but either don’t eat or just share a starter & get them food) & at the weekend look up free days out - age 5 a big park and a picnic, especially if you can take a friend is always a hit?

Bunnybigears · 10/09/2019 21:47

Presents on the morning (wake up earlier) Go to school
Straight from school to birthday tea
Bed by the normal time
Do something fun on the weekend

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 10/09/2019 21:51

rhowton the school have already said that if any child is absent on their birthday they'll take it as an unauthorised absence. I'm really not happy about that though because she has been genuinely ill on her birthday twice now and lots of other kids must be as well! I know I certainly have been!

BikeRunSki she won't be, and even if she was, having all her presents opened would make it impossible to get her out of the house to school as she doesn't want to go as it is, I'm dealing with an hour (from getting ready all the way to dropping off and staying extra in the classroom) of tears every morning at the moment.

Cuddlysnowleopard that sounds the best way so far, though you're not allowed to hand out sweets as they are the devil incarnate Hmm.

I'll probably ask my sil if we can all do a pizza and cake at her house, I just feel majorly cheeky asking especially given the circumstances! It makes sense though, they live next to the school, my nephew goes to the same school, they don't drive and I'd have to do two trips to bring them over and my house isn't baby / toddler proofed at all! Gah! (we're very close, as are the kids, if you can't tell)

Thanks everyone, some food for thought :)

OP posts:
TheStakeIsNotThePower · 10/09/2019 21:59

My kids get to choose the menu on their birthday and I put all the presents on the dining room table after they go to bed so they come down, there is a pile of presents to open, some disgustingly sweet cereal or pancakes or something to eat then school has a thing where birthday child can wear own clothes then after school they get to actually open the boxes and play with the presents and dinner is whatever they requested.

Or, often, I've already left for work, they get dragged to the childminder early, get picked up at 6 and have dinner and go to bed and then I get home. So we do presents another day and birthday choices of food another day. And because they are humans capable of rational thought they understand that sometimes birthdays fall on busy days and so we celebrate on a less busy day. But they also have a parent who frequently works Christmas day so maybe they are just used to it.

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 10/09/2019 22:04

"Or, often, I've already left for work, they get dragged to the childminder early, get picked up at 6 and have dinner and go to bed and then I get home. So we do presents another day and birthday choices of food another day. And because they are humans capable of rational thought they understand that sometimes birthdays fall on busy days and so we celebrate on a less busy day. But they also have a parent who frequently works Christmas day so maybe they are just used to it."

Alright then Hmm

OP posts:
theendoftheendoftheend · 10/09/2019 22:05

I do a couple of presents and a birthday breakfast, badge to wear to school (and at that age a suitable present to take in to show), then a birthday tea with family (we have lots of cousins) and a party at the weekend.
However, if you really want to keep her off do, it doesn't cause a huge headache for the teacher, they will get over it. Just bare in mind if you lie, your DC might not and not sure encouraging them to lie at school is a good policy, so you might just have to wing it and recognise you won't be able to do that every year.

NoSquirrels · 10/09/2019 22:05

Special birthday breakfast - set the table the night before with balloons etc and serve pancakes or whatever treat-y thing she’d like. One present to open (that she can take for Show & Tell). Massive birthday badge. Cake/cupcakes to share at school. Big up the specialness of being Birthday Girl all day at school - ask the teacher if they do anything to help.

TheStakeIsNotThePower · 10/09/2019 22:08

What's with the hmm face? They do! Funnily enough I can't always be there for birthdays! If you make a big thing of it being a bad thing that she has school on her birthday then it will become a bad thing. If you treat it as normal and make a plan with her for celebrating either after school or at the weekend then that is what becomes normal.

ASauvignonADay · 10/09/2019 22:09

Don't keep her off on her birthday, that's ridiculous. Plenty of ways to celebrate around school hours

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 10/09/2019 22:15

I'm not making a big thing of anything, I just wanted some input as to what other people do for their kids so I can plan her day as best as I can. I'm sorry you can't always spend the day with your kids but you don't have to get all snotty about it to someone who wants to make the most of a childs day!

As for everyone else, thanks a lot, genuinely, I have a lot more of an idea as to what to do now, and to what schools do and allow.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 10/09/2019 22:17

For clarification, I'm not keeping her off school. I've always planned to take her to school. Apart from anything else the school wouldn't allow it anyway but all I said was that I wish I could keep her home. I'm not actually going to. Nor am I going to ask her to lie about anything to anyone.

OP posts:
Polkadotdelight · 10/09/2019 22:22

Shame it's falling on a Wednesday. DS is turning 5 on a Friday and as he is still too young to understand dares I was planning on 'doing' his birthday on Saturday so he can enjoy his day etc.

BackforGood · 10/09/2019 23:11

On the morning, card and presents only from us / siblings, so they've opened something to answer when people say "What have you had nice for your birthday?"
That evening, something they like for tea, and candles on a cake.

Then at the weekend, 'birthday tea' with extended family that live locally enough (sounds like your SiL and her family ? Maybe Grandparents?), when can stick some more candles in a cake, and when can receive and open any more presents.

By the end of the month, party with friends.

My dc have always loved having "3 birthdays" - what's not to like ? Grin

daisydoooo · 10/09/2019 23:14

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