Court order

[0987anne]

I need to apply for a court order for a statement made by my son aged 8 who was sexually abused by his stepbrother.
Can I do this without solicitors?
I need this information ASAP as my exhusband has accused me of lying and contacting the police when it was my son who told his teacher at school who in turn contacted children services and the contacted the police.
After my son was interviewed by the police, they told me they have no doubt whatsoever that he was telling the truth. I have now received a solicitors letter from my ex husbands solicitors stating there is no truth in these allegations and that I was being malicious. He is now applying for joint or possibly full custody of my son which would mean he would be living with the stepbrother that abused him.
I have requested a copy of the statement from the police but they said the case was still open and that I must get a court order for this information. I have also received a letter from a mediator saying that I must attend mediation. I would like this information from the police to take with me to prove that I am not lying, being malicious, and that it was my son telling the school that brought this information into the open.
Please help, I do not qualify for legal aid and am financially struggling.

If the case is still under investigation, I doubt the police will be handing over any statements or indeed other evidence. However, I'm sure children's services would have a view on the child being in contact with the suspected offender

It sounds like you’re being asked to attend a MIAM rather than mediation. As the respondent you can refuse to attend and it will progress straight to court. Cafcass should then automatically complete safeguarding checks with the police and LA, as well as holding a telephone interview with you and your ex. The whole thing will be approached very methodically and you will have the opportunity to clearly explain the situation from your perspective. At the first hearing the court can consider making an order for full police disclosure, but to be honest the info they get from Cafcass might be enough.

It sounds like you’re having a dreadful time OP, but try not to panic.

The charity ‘Rights of Women’ have a family law helpline that might be worth checking out. Good luck

Thank you

You can also post in Legal Matters under Other, OP.

If you attend, the MIAM will be you alone with the mediator and the mediator may decide themselves not to proceed based on the information you provide.

Thank you, my solicitor said I have to attend MIAM or it will give my X leverage to go strait to court. Can I insist on CAFCASS being involved through the mediation session as my son doesn’t want to sleep at his fathers? After the incident, and the authorities being involved, I did email my x to say maybe start with phone calls to our son to build his trust up as his father is taking the side of his new wife’s son? My son apparently told him of the incident when it happened but was ignored. My ex has stated to his solicitor that I have stopped all communication for them but the email I sent shows that I am willing for my son to see his father but not to stay over until this has all been sorted and previously I stipulated that our son must not share a room or shower with the abuser but got the response “my house my rules”
I feel so distressed as our sons welfare should obviously come first. I have also been sending him to therapy so that there is damage limitation for his mental welfare once he is old enough to realise the seriousness of what happened to him 😢😢

Not sure if this is helpful to you or not but my son was aged 9 when his Junior school called me in to say that they had noticed a pattern in his behaviour and that every other Monday he would be attention seeking and disrupting the class.

This coincided with him being away for the weekend at his father’s.

Initially when we split he and his sister had been staying at his grandma’s to allow visits from their father and both children had their own bedrooms and were happy to go away every other weekend.

Then as the years went by he started having them at his house and my son hated going.

To cut a long story short the school referred us to a Family psychiatrist whereby my son sat with the man and spoke about his feelings and I sat in the same room but in the far corner. I could not hear what was said.

It was very upsetting to learn that my son had told the man a lot more than what my son had expressed to me and the psychiatrist recommended that I stopped forcing my son to visit his father.

He told me that in his experience it was usually accepted in Court that a child of 9 years could decided for themselves that they didn’t want to see their father if they didn’t want to.

So he didn’t go anymore to stay at his father’s and was told that I’d he was at Grandma’s and his father showed up he had the option to be polite and say hello and then go up to his bedroom.

Maybe you could find out more about the age thing where a child can decide not to visit as from my memory the psychiatrist assured me that 9 was the age where they let children decide for themselves.

Thank you 😢❤️

Great to hear you have legal advice OP, if they’re advising you to go along to the MIAM there must be a good reason for this but like PP said, this won’t be a full on mediation session with your ex, you will likely see the mediator on your own. You certainly can tell them you want Cafcass involved due to safeguarding issues but unfortunately they can’t become involved until or if the case progresses to court. To be honest you really should be talking all this through with your lawyer.

@Soola there is no one objective age where the court will deem a child’s wishes determinative. It depends very much on the child’s level of maturity and understanding, I would say it’s very rare for a 9 year olds wishes to be determinative, you’re normally looking more into adolescence. But a decent judge should still pay a lot of attention to the child’s wishes, no matter their age.