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Original poster

How old to let DC come home after school to an empty house?

37 replies

chesterdraws1 · 10/09/2019 13:29

I'm pretty sure DS is too young but just interested in other people's opinions. DS is 9 (Yr5) and has just started walking too and from school with a couple of friends. It's a 500m walk with one road cross.

I work just around the corner and currently finish at 3pm so I am home when he gets home. My work often ask me if I can stay until 4 or 5, and if DS1(20) is around, i's not a problem. Anyway he's back off to uni next week so I'll have to decline the extra hours, which are really handy (finacially) TBH.

What age would you allow DC to have a key and come home to an empty house. Potentially for up to an hour and a half?

Oh and for further info. DS2 usually goes 'out' in the village for an hour or so after school - to friends' houses or to play over the park. There is an after school club that he used to go to but the majority of the kids are a lot younger and he got fed up with it.

TIA

OP posts:

pusspuss9 · 10/09/2019 13:47

I usually go on the rule if an emergency occurs in the home, are they able to deal with it alone.

Yika · 10/09/2019 13:50

I think he should be fine - especially if he's independent enough to go out in the village for an hour by himself.

formerbabe · 10/09/2019 13:55

First year of secondary school

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NameChange84 · 10/09/2019 14:00

I’d say last term of year 6 or beginning of secondary with clear instructions of what to do in an emergency.

MsPepperPotts · 10/09/2019 14:02

He's sounds mature for his age.
Does he have a mobile phone on him so he can text you when he's home or out?...maybe too obvious a question.
I was coming home and letting myself and my brother in at age 8 but that's way before mobile phones and no landline in our house.

BiddyPop · 10/09/2019 14:02

DD (only DC) was able to come home to an empty house in 5th class, aged10 (almost 11 TBH). But she had been building up to that over time, and there were neighbours who also had keys that she could call into if there were any problems.

Does he know how to cope with the regular "arriving in home and unlocking" for himself?

Can he get on with making a snack (cold or hot) and starting his homework?

Does he know what to do if there is an emergency?

Are there others around near the house, or you on a phone and able to drop everything and run if absolutely necessary?

If the answer to all those is basically a "yes", then yep, go for it.
If not, think about what more he needs, build up that knowledge or skill, and then go for it.

BakewellGin1 · 10/09/2019 14:02

Our school dont allow children to walk to and from school until last term of Year 6.

I wanted to allow DS11 to start now as we live a few streets from school but it is not allowed for ours.

BiddyPop · 10/09/2019 14:05

Sorry, I meant to add that DD was already after building up to walking alone while I drove from afterschool club in school, to walking alone at the finish time to meet me at home (within about 10 minutes of her arriving) so when something else happened that she needed to come home herself 90 minutes before me, she was used to that part and only needed to work on actually doing homework and not just watching tv.

But she was still only 10 when that bullying happened and she came home alone 3 days out of 5 for the rest of that year, and 5 afternoons a week in 6th class (last year of primary).

Simkin · 10/09/2019 14:06

When you say 'round the corner' do you mean on foot, so that if there were a problem he could run and get you?

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 10/09/2019 14:06

Well I have a (very mature and sensible) 9 year old and there's no way I'd do this. My eldest was 11 when we gave her a key and started leaving her for an hour or so.

BiddyPop · 10/09/2019 14:07

(And we had a system that she always rang us when she got in home, so we knew she was safe)

AudacityOfHope · 10/09/2019 14:07

DD is 9 and I think we'll probably start letting her do this by the time she turns 10. I am testing her in small ways just now to see how she copes.

Windydaysuponus · 10/09/2019 14:07

My dc 12,13+15 have wholeheartedly agreed they hate coming home when I am not in.
Have changed work hours to be home.
No way at primary school age anyway imo.

Beautiful3 · 10/09/2019 14:31

Wouldnt do it until age 12.

whocanbebothered · 10/09/2019 14:38

My kids are 10 and 11; we live on the same street as the school. They have been coming home on their own for around the last 9 months. They let themselves in using the back door lock box key, have chores to do and I am home approx. 1 hr 25 mins later from them arriving in the house.

They text me to say they are home each day, whether it is straight in from school or some days they visit the library first (pre-arranged in the mornings so I know if they are going)
They know how to cope with emergencies or accidents if they should arise. We have family fairly closeby, and neighbours we could contact if needed.
They know the rules re safety such as no cooking, juggling with knives, that sorta thing. Cereal, sandwiches, crisps etc for snacks.
Honestly, with their ipad and the television, I don't think they even notice when I get home most days.

All children are different; mine are very mature for their age but I do believe that is because I have raised them to be that way, and encouraged their independence and confidence with simple tasks. I don't think it is a good thing to coddle kids and not allow them any time alone at home until they are 12 or 13, like some PP. I think that's a bit mad, actually.

isabellerossignol · 10/09/2019 14:42

My eldest only started doing it in the second year of secondary school, aged 13. She just didn't feel comfortable before then.

My mind is blown at schools not allowing children to walk home unaccompanied until the end of their last year. In my area it's expected that they will do that from the beginning of P4, when most of them are 7.

Sunshine196 · 10/09/2019 14:54

I think my 8yo could do this & be fine but I wouldn't do it. I'd say year 6 but the second half of the year in prep for high school.

InMySpareTime · 10/09/2019 14:54

DS walked home from school on his own from Y3, as I couldn't physically be at both his school and DD's (Y1).
He had one road to cross with a crossing keeper, and plenty of other people walked the same way. He'd meet me at the doorstep.
When he turned 10 I gave him a key to let himself in, which was fine.
I also gave DD a key for her 10th birthday.

RedskyLastNight · 10/09/2019 14:56

If he's happy I'd do this. Particularly if he's used to "playing out" after school anyway, and you are not too far away.

OrangeJustice · 10/09/2019 14:59

I’d be happy with this in yr5 provided he was happy also. Genuinely surprised people wait til secondary to leave children home alone for an hour or so.

Arrowfanatic · 10/09/2019 15:00

My 10 year old has been walking home for the last year alone, however I'm a sahm so I'm home within minutes as i pick her younger siblings up.

I would be happy for her to come home alone, undecided on my 8 year old DS. The walk would be fine, and actually getting in the house no bother (especially as he would be with his sister) but not sure if I'm comfortable him being at home without me for too long, not for him being unsafe but because he argues with his sister.

Original poster

chesterdraws1 · 10/09/2019 15:04

He does have a mobile and by round the corner I mean I'm a 5min drive away. A couple of miles so he couldn't physically get to me.

OP posts:

InMySpareTime · 10/09/2019 15:14

Do you have a neighbour you get on with, that DC could ask for help in an emergency?

Original poster

chesterdraws1 · 10/09/2019 15:15

It would also just be 3 days a week

OP posts:

Original poster

chesterdraws1 · 10/09/2019 15:16

@InMySpareTime yes there's a couple of mums I'm friendly with who live within a few doors of us

OP posts:

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