Son’s “friend” opened instagram account in his name without his knowledge

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We found this tonight.
The teenager (aged 13) rather unwisely tagged ds’s
big brother in a stupid rude photograph about our family.
The ten posts are unpleasant and stupid but not totally unlike a similar account that the friendship group set up with DS’s consent. But there was no consent or knowledge here.
It’s been up for a few days. We know who it is: a child who is in DS’s friendship group but who has never been friendly to DS.

Big brother was full of rage and wanting to punch the perpetrator. So tonight was very confusing for ds as big brother was raging and saying “you’re being cyber bullied” and it was almost harder for ds to deal with brother than the Instagram posts themselves (the brothers are very close).

Because of this I’ve undereacted and told ds to take some time to absorb the information and decide what to do.

Any advice welcome.

I think under-reacting was fine. I also don't think this is anything to lose your temper or cool about.

It's not ideal no...the "friend" was mean and stupid...the brother has overreacted.

Make sure your older son does NOT punch the lad.

There's nothing you can do other than inform the school...do you want to do that?

Thank you Henny. I did feel I had to douse the flames as it was becoming more about brothers feelings than DS’s.

I think I’ll be more angry in the morning.

It’s the impersonation element that is very wrong and also slightly sinister.

I think the perpetrator is an attention seeker.

My present inclination is to go to the class teacher (so tell) but to call it impersonation rather than bullying. There are a couple of posts about me and ds so I could use that angle.

The perpetrator deleted the posts whilst we were looking at them (but not before big brother took screenshots), perhaps realising that he had tagged big brother or perhaps as a result of big brother accidentally hitting like.. So he knows we know.

A similar thing happened to DS last year.
He has ASD and just after GCSE exams a fake account was set up to mock DS and his special interests. To start with they put his full name, school and hometown on the bio, but thankfully these were deleted fairly quickly.

DS's older sibling was able to work out which boy in DS's year was responsible and had words with him but was ignored. We couldn't ask the school for help as it was the beginning of the school holidays and in any case the boy we suspected had left school.

I reported the account to Instagram and followed their procedure, but they said the account didn't break their guidelines.

We were cross on DS's behalf but DS himself was not that bothered. So we decided to follow his lead and ignore it.

Thanks.does Instagram delete accounts if they are in a false name with a photo of someone of that name?

I'm sure they will delete the account yes. I think on reflection that telling school is vital.

Your son may not like that though.

Take screen shots. Ask Instagram to delete it and contact the school/police.

Thanks.does Instagram delete accounts if they are in a false name with a photo of someone of that name?
In my experience: no.

We followed the process for reporting an impersonation account. We examined that the account had been set up to mock his disability and that some of his peers had followed it thinking it was his real account.

Instagram (now owned by Facebook) were not willing to delete the account:

We received this response:
"Thanks for your email. We were not able to remove the account you reported. We remove accounts that are meant to mislead, confuse or deceive others."

Thanks for taking the time to reflect Henny.
The account has been deleted but we have the screenshots.
DS still wants to hang out in the same group.he is going to say to the boy “you set up an account in my name without asking me. You shouldn’t have done that”.
DH was initially confused and thought ds had made the posts. Which proves the point really - impersonation is not ok. I think we have to tell the school. I wish we could get theperpetrator moved to a different class :(

I don't think they'll move the perpetrator, but they may move your son, if you asked. At least that's been the policy at the schools I've dealt with!

Be clear with Instagram that this is an account using your sons name and photos without his permission, mention if he is under 13 and say that it was set up the impersonate your son and deceive others into thinking it is him. They should then delete, although don't always, and it can take some time for the request to be reviewed.

Thanks Anchor.
I do think we have to tell school.

We had this. I reported it to Instagram who needed proof of my DD name (photo of birth certificate) and they did quite quickly take it down.

School will do the absolute minimum and try not to intervene and argue it's just a normal boys falling out situation.
It's clearly more sinister than that with regards to the photo's that were published online.
I think you need to report this child's behaviour as bullying and require the school to follow through their procedures on tackling bullying.
If you do nothing, it is far more likely to escalate.

“If you do nothing, it is far more likely to escalate.”

Why do you say that?(not disagreeing)

bump. should we tell?

How long has Child X been a member of son's wider friendship group?
Why isn't he friends with/why doesn't he get along with your son?
Do you think that Child X might believe that your son has usurped his role within the group in some way?

I'm trying to figure out why your child was targeted or has Child X got form for doing silly things without thinking through the consequences generally?

Child X set up a fake Instagram account and posted pictures on it clearly designed to upset and humiliate your son. He has allegedly deleted the pictures and the account, possibly because he was worried he would get into trouble for it.
Maybe the account is still live but your son and others are blocked from seeing it, so I recommend you investigate further and double check that the account has definitely been deleted.

I do think that the school need to be made aware of the situation and as a minimum, to talk to child X about the ramifications of cyber bullying. Don't allow the school the easy option of speaking only to the victim.

With bullying, it is rare for the bully to simply stop targeting their victim without being reprimanded over their actions. You see this often with both child bullies and adult bullies.

If this was my child I would want the perpetrator to acknowledge their actions in order to stop to this situation from potentially escalating.

"How long has Child X been a member of son's wider friendship group?"
since primary - I tried to get them separated in year 6/7 but to no avail.

"Why isn't he friends with/why doesn't he get along with your son?"
I believe him to be jealous (the posts were parodying my son talking about his dad).
My son is a softy and a boy of few words - other child is extremely articulate. I suspect as a small child my son "tagged along" behind the more extrovert other child and annoyed him - but that hasn't happened since year 4 at the latest and they are now 13/14

"Do you think that Child X might believe that your son has usurped his role within the group in some way?"
He sees him as a threat and a rival in relation to certain things they are both good at, yes.

"I'm trying to figure out why your child was targeted or has Child X got form for doing silly things without thinking through the consequences generally?"
Good question: Child X has got form and is widely considered annoying: but has always disliked my son and has often sought to separate others in the group from my son.

"Child X set up a fake Instagram account and posted pictures on it clearly designed to upset and humiliate your son. He has allegedly deleted the pictures and the account, possibly because he was worried he would get into trouble for it.
Maybe the account is still live but your son and others are blocked from seeing it, so I recommend you investigate further and double check that the account has definitely been deleted."
That's a point - we may just be blocked. I may need to contact the parents, whom I know and am friendly with (though perhaps not for much longer....)

"I do think that the school need to be made aware of the situation and as a minimum, to talk to child X about the ramifications of cyber bullying. Don't allow the school the easy option of speaking only to the victim."
Thank you. I did call the head of year today who offered to speak with Child X. We agreed we'd wait to see how much progress DS himself made directly (see below) and I'd report back. I'll do this tomorrow.

"With bullying, it is rare for the bully to simply stop targeting their victim without being reprimanded over their actions. You see this often with both child bullies and adult bullies."
Thank you. eager to hear from those with experience.

"If this was my child I would want the perpetrator to acknowledge their actions in order to stop to this situation from potentially escalating."
if that is considered the most effective way then we'll do that.

Just to update you (as you so kindly wrote), DS did speak to Child X today. He barely remembers his words because the room was spinning as he gets a bit overwhelmed. He knows he told Child X to delete "that account that you sent everyone". Child X said something about it being just a joke and was this "just because your brother found out"

... posted too soon.

So Child X admits it which is good and I think the head of year having a word would be effective.
However I think I need to contact Child X's parents (sad to probably lose a friend) as they may need to verify that the account has been deleted rather than just us being blocked.