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Original poster

Unwanted lodger I need advice

153 replies

EachandEveryone · 09/09/2019 16:26

I wrote afew weeks ago about my lodger. I am a tenant in a 3 bedded flat I’ve lived here for 23 years in London with a rent that hardly increases. Originally three were on the contract now it’s just me. If someone moves in and wants to be here long term then they go on the contract. If not they just pay a third of the rent and leave with a months notice. I don’t make any money from this and it’s worked out well for 23 years (my own property is up north) my landlord knows and isn’t interested we don’t involve each other as I maintain the flat and she does the big jobs like new windows etc.

Someone moved in four months ago I never knew at the time she has PTSD and other MH issues she’s lived in London awhile but is from Russia. She was fine at first then she lost her job then she would scream if we shut any door no matter how quietly and she literally goes purple with rage. I asked her to leave but she put the rent in as normal so yesterday when it happened again at 2pm on a Sunday she was screaming in my flat mates face saying she’s not well and we are disrespectful I waited for it to die down and emphasised that she has to go in three weeks. And that she has no other rights.

Now she’s sent me a nicey nicey text asking me to answer these questions. I’ve enclosed it. What do you think she is up to? I don’t want to give her any details. I know she is under the new gp and is on meds but do I really need to give her this information when I’ve asked her to leave?

Unwanted lodger I need advice
OP posts:
StormTreader · 11/09/2019 13:51

" I just cant put anyone on the streets."

She will find somewhere, like she found you. She won't do it while she can stay where she is, so she'll stamp and yell in the hope you'll give up and let her stay, which is sounds like is working.

mankyfourthtoe · 11/09/2019 13:51

Was it you who had the lodger problems with the nurse and you struggled to sort it?
I'm sorry I don't think you're up to this, so much worry and it's not your flat.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 11/09/2019 13:53

Call the police and have her removed. Change the locks. She is not your problem.

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Original poster
EachandEveryone · 11/09/2019 13:53

No. Im the nurse. Ive been up to it for 22 years this is the first time anything like this has happened. Its always been a happy household. I dont want to go back up north just yet my pensions not due for six years 😄

OP posts:
Cloudyapples · 11/09/2019 13:57

Op you will not leave her destitute - you’d likely be doing her a favour as with her mental state the council would probably have to house her if she was homeless and she might be then in a better position via the council to access support. Next time she kicks off call the police and ask them to take her away. When she’s gone, you know you need to get the locks changed.

MummytoCSJH · 11/09/2019 14:01

Tell her to sod off. She is and has always been a lodger, not a tenant, and as such she has no tenant rights. Tell her she has to leave and do not let her intimidate you. None of this would be considered a hate crime. She's going to be homeless soon anyway isn't she if she doesn't get her arse in gear and find somewhere else whether she gets UC or not. If she does not leave by the date you have specified then call the police. If she creates a universal credit claim at your address it could cause all kinds of bother for you and others living there - and she isn't entitled to help with housing costs for your property as she isnt actually renting it!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/09/2019 14:03

Email her and state clearly that she is a lodger paying X per period and that she has been give X time to vacate the property.

No ther details, you don't need a reason and she can scream discrimonation, hate crime all she likes.

If she has paid beyond X date, return it and email to tell her that you have done so as you are not accepting payment past the time you gae her notice. Keep screenshots of the return.

On the date, change your locks, call the police if necessary.. You could have had her out in 24 - 48 hours had you chosen to do so! on't back down... you don't have t feel threatened in your own home - and no judge will make you keep her, should she try to take this to any court.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/lodging/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

Redred2429 · 11/09/2019 14:09

Ask her to leave op I understand you feel guilty but you shouldn't she seems very erratic and you need to keep yourself safe don't give her the two weeks the council will help her but not until the day she is officially homeless so it won't matter if you do it tomorrow or in two weeks

DishingOutDone · 11/09/2019 14:12

If you write a letter saying she is a lodger but the "agreement" has come to an end then she can take that to the local authority to register for emergency housing. Surely that would be more help to her? And true.

Donutandcream · 11/09/2019 14:12

OP you sound like a lovely person for caring what will happen to her. It's hard because you know that in London single people (even with mental health needs) are often not housed. But that's not your fault and it must be very hard to live with her. She needs help but it's not your job to do it.

Maybe the police (when they come if she wont leave) could contact the Russian Embassy? Would they help, maybe get her home, perhaps to family there who could help? Or if she has dual nationality or settled status or similar, the police can take her to be assessed by mental health services.

DishingOutDone · 11/09/2019 14:19

Also agree strongly with Curious above to return the money she has paid - she can't just say oh here's some money so that now means you can't tell me to go.

Don't get dragged into this elderly neighbour "helping" and other flatmate using weed etc. You really need to get this situation under control.

PencilsInSpace · 11/09/2019 14:58

Call the police to remove her.

She needs to apply as homeless to the council. This is a good idea:

If you write a letter saying she is a lodger but the "agreement" has come to an end then she can take that to the local authority to register for emergency housing. Surely that would be more help to her? And true.

Give the two remaining weeks rent back.

If you let her stay a further two weeks and don't give her the info needed for the UC claim then she is correct she will be up shit creek financially but come on, you can't put up with this for two more weeks anyway.

The hate crime stuff is BS.

Soola · 11/09/2019 15:05

Get the manipulative bitch out NOW.

This is going to escalate because she knows you are fearful.

Call the police and say she is intimidating you and you want her out of the property now.

Being soft with her is aiding and abetting her outrageous behaviour.

Take the hard line and get rid of her.

zafferana · 11/09/2019 15:06

She's playing you like a fiddle OP. She's manipulating you and forcing you into a position you don't want to be in. FGS involve your LL or the police (or both) and grow a spine or you'll be stuck with this woman in your home for ever more. She is clearly trying to get HB to stay in your home - that's what the letter is for!

zafferana · 11/09/2019 15:07

The hate crime stuff is BS.

And this^. Come on OP. If you've been a nurse for years surely you're used to people with MH issues? This woman is a master manipulator.

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 15:07

I agree with all the above, except I wouldn't involve the LL. There is nothing he can do as she isn't his tenant.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/09/2019 15:29

FGS involve your LL or the police (or both)

It is nothing to do woth the LL. They can't and won't do anything, expcet maybe s21 OP!

The police won't do anything, laws may have changed a few years ago but they don't often get involved with such stuff, erroneously citing it as a civil matter!

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 15:33

Well she can change the locks, dump her stuff outside and then call the Police if she kicks off.

Soola · 11/09/2019 17:07

Whilst she is there she can plot against you and carry out anything she chooses to do.

If she is booted out me has no access her time will be taken up with finding new accommodation.

Having her there what she knows you want her out is exasperating the problem.

She is unstable and you have a duty to protect the property from potential damage if she does go nuts.

thecatneuterer · 11/09/2019 18:44

And you also have a duty to protect the cats!

perpetuallyperplexedbylife · 11/09/2019 19:21

You seem determined not to take any of the sensible advice given to get rid of her immediately. This will only get worse - kick her out, change the locks and involve the police if necessary. She has MH problems, but what about your mental health? She is making you ill and to be honest, she sounds like she could be dangerous.

mankyfourthtoe · 11/09/2019 19:29

You have asked and been told by knowledgeable people, yet you want to do nothing and have a miracle cure.

latexsalesman · 11/09/2019 23:30

Op you're making this situation worse for yourself and sitting there wringing your hands like there's nothing you can do.

AcrossthePond55 · 12/09/2019 00:10

As a nurse, you know that there are times you have to cause someone pain to help them. This is one of those times. Stick to your guns. Grant her no more time. If she is forced to leave as planned, she will be forced to get the help she apparently needs. I doubt very much she'll end up sleeping on a park bench.

Original poster
EachandEveryone · 12/09/2019 12:47

Ive contacted the police theyve said its a civil matter. They wont intervene unless it gets violent.

Ive been called a nazi during the war times today 🤔. This is because i said the letter i will write will say that you are leaving here and shes ranted and raved saying i have no good reason, its illegal, its a hate crime etc. I told her to get on spare room theres hundreds of rooms in this area. She said i will pay the price for this. Im not scared of her now its the same old bullshit coming out of her mouth. Im just cleaning furiously.

OP posts:
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