Today I cried at the bin lorry

[Changingagain]

Since going back to work after ds, I've had Mondays off. This means for the last year or so I've been saying "oo that sounds like the bin lorry" each week to ds who then runs up to the window to excitedly tell me that it is the bin lorry coming. He then waits to watch them empty our bin and waves to the bin men who wave back.
He started school last week and I was fine with it. I've been used to being away from him 4 days a week since he was 9 months old, he's been excited about it, and I have a young baby who's quite distracting, so I thought I coped well while other mum's were getting upset.
Then this morning the bin lorry came past without him to see and I realised that he may never get excited by it again. It makes it feel like the little boy is gone, I now have a school child instead and I suddenly miss all the little toddler things that I didn't realise had stopped.

So tldr, the bin men normally look through our window to wave at an excited little boy, today they saw a middle aged, doused in baby sick, crying mess.

It doesn't get any easier OP. My eldest started at secondary last week, and has been playing minecraft loads over the holiday. I saw an ad pop up for minecraft on my phone on Friday and teared up thinking by next summer she would probably would have grown out of it. Watching the stages of growing up is hard as well as amazing

These milestones and the changes they bring can be really hard, I'm not surprised you were upset. But your post is beautiful, such a lovely cherished memory, described so well. Before you know it you'll have a similar routine with dc2, it might not be the bin men, but something equally special just for the two of you.

Your post reminds me of the poem below. How many times have we carried on and not realised the last time has gone.

My son is now in year 1 and it broke me when he trotted off happily to the corridor (instead of the classroom door where we had left them in reception) where I had to say goodbye to him.

But today, he stopped, and insisted he had a big cuddle and a soggy kiss before he would go anywhere and shouted how much he loved me.

Sometimes we just really do need to stop and take it all in. Even if they can be arseholes at times

The Last Time (author unknown)
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same

You might long for the person you were before
When you had freedom and time
And nothing in particular to worry about

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before
Days will run into days that are exactly the same
Full of feedings and burping
Nappy changes and crying
Whining and fighting
Naps or a lack of naps
It might seem like a never-ending cycle

But don't forget...

There is a last time for everything
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down
And never pick them up that way again
You will scrub their hair in the bath for one last time
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone

They will hold your hand to cross the road
Then will never reach for it again
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this

One afternoon you will sing "the wheels on the bus" and do all the actions
Then never sing them that song again

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time
Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

Awwww OP

@cjt110

That made me cry but its so true.

One of my DSs is with his DF now but reading that made me remember the times before it became difficult . Happy times that passed in the blink of an eye .

I nearly cried at a sleeping toddler in tesco this afternoon as my big boy has started his first proper responsible grown up job today. He went off in a suit and looked sooo grown up How did that time pass?
The mother of the sleeping toddler smiled at me but probably wondered why I was staring at her son.

I get it

That bloody poem gets me everytime!

OP it is totally understandable, and sometimes it's the things you don't expect. I sent my eldest off to primary years ago and did t she'd a tear, never have any other year until this year which I expected to be the same. All of a sudden I'm bubbling like a baby as it hit me like a ton of bricks that she'll never have a first say back at Primary again.

Cherish the memory but don't lose it completely, keep it going in the holidays until he doesnt want to anymore

Apologies for the spelling mistakes, clearly can't work my new phone

Aw OP it could have been me writing your post, though many years ago and not as eloquently. Still have the Playmobil bin lorry and it's occupants that he used to balance on the windowsill for the bin men to see as he waved. That was so look long ago, he's
27 next month!
Brought a tear to my eye and brought some lovely memories back. Thank you

My dm told me the story of being on the bus and seeing a fire engine and saying, oh a fire engine, but having no one to say it to

AHHHHH bless you.
I bet the bin men also missed your sons smile and wave.

My son was fascinated with Eddie Stobbart lorries, i've only just stopped shouting "oh look there's an Eddie" and he's 27. They grow up so quickly. When my daughter was 6 my mum died and my daughter drew me a picture of a lady and wrote that she knew I was sad about my mum and that she was sorry. My girl is 30 now and I still have the note, can't read it without crying buckets.

@lazyarse Same here . My son (and DD) used to call out the Eddie lorries . He is just a year older than your DS at 28.

@EleanorReally , I get that. I was on a train and it went pass a field and I said "Look , some cows" . I was saying it to myself though as youngest DC was at school by then. It leaves a lump in the throat for sure.

Mine has just started saying 'Don't care' when I shout out 'Eddie Stobart!' on the motorway. He's 12. We used to have competitions to see who spotted them first. I suspect it will be a while before I break that habit.

LeysaV I don't know which is worse, the fact that they've grown up or that i'm daft enough to still say it even when i'm alone.

don't know which is worse, the fact that they've grown up or that i'm daft enough to still say it even when i'm alone.

I still say 'echo' every time I walk under a nearby railway bridge, only my little toddlers (now teens) are no longer shouting and listening to their echoes with me 🥺

If you’re covered in baby sick then you can start waving at the bin men again in about 18 months.

I volunteer in a mum/baby group, and whenever we have a child leave to go to the "big school" I come home and have a little weep. You watch the children grow from babyhood to independent 4 years old and then off they go. I should know better at my age - I am a grandma!

Awww this post is making me feel sad. Mine are 17 and 12 and they grow up so fast.

When my children were young my daughter was very fickle with her "favourites". Swapping from Teletubbies to Barney to Toy Story etc etc etc.
But my son was true to Thomas the Tank until he was about 9. Then he decided he was grown up and sold it all at a boot sale. The train bed, bedding, books, clothes, videos. All gone.
I hid behind a tree and bawled my eyes out.

@SquirellTamer If it's any remote consolation, I'm 29 and still play Minecraft haha.

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To everyone struggling, whatever they like that you find lovely now might change, but there will always be something. As they grow, you may grow to enjoy taking them to a certain activity, or having chats with them in an evening. Even when your children are adults there will be new things to cherish and then - hopefully - it all starts again with grandchildren! Change is always hard to adjust to, but adjust we must, or we miss things that are truly good about right now - like his little face when he runs out of school and sees his mum, for example :).

I am bracing myself for DS1 to leave for Uni for the third year.

The first year I cried all day then couldn't go in his room for about 3 weeks. Empty wardrobe etc.

Second year I felt a bit gloomy but stripped his bed and stuck the laundry and the ironing board in there so it looked less like his room.

Well reading all your replies has set me off again lol. Thank you for making me feel a bit less like a crazy woman though ❤️