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Original poster

Baby cries everytime when being dropped off to nursery- please tell me it gets easier!

12 replies

NoMealNoDeal · 09/09/2019 10:35

It's only been 2 days but she cries everytime dh drops her off. She 18m and Ive gone back to work. It makes me feel so sad and I can't stop thinking about her whilst I'm at work.

Please tell me this is normal and that it will get better for her and me! I'm glad it's not me that's doing the dropping off as I would feel even more awful. Ive even considered leaving work and waiting in 18m when she's 3!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMealNoDeal · 09/09/2019 11:37

Anyone?!

OP posts:
TequilaMockingbird0 · 09/09/2019 11:41

We had tears for the first few weeks, then an occasional lip wobble and now they run in excited! We started nursery at 1 when I went back to work and I found it so hard leaving them crying, but the staff reassured us it stopped pretty much when we left the room. It's horrible when you see the crying but not the fun they're having too. It WILL get better!!

Magneticred · 09/09/2019 11:43

It will get easier she has only been there 2 days and it can take them a little while to get used to the change. My dd2 took a couple of weeks to get used to the staff and the hours, after that she would stand at the door before leaving shouting go mummy friends. Have nursery flagged up she's taking ages to calm down? Sometimes they can kick up a fuss going but then calm down and be happy playing that's when I used to tell myself that the crying would have stopped once I was round the corner.

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ParrotsForLife · 09/09/2019 11:45

Ah it’s shit isn’t it.
I’m sure she’s fine.
I used to stand and peek in (nursery were fine with this, they suggested it!) just to show me how quickly DS settled, maybe you could do that?
DS now runs off with a quick wave to me

Original poster
NoMealNoDeal · 09/09/2019 11:49

She's only there for 2 days a week not everyday so I feel she will take longer to settle in. I'm not sure.

The staff tell dh that she settles after a few minutes but he says she's so happy to see him when he picks her up at the end of the day like she's been waiting for him!

It is shit. Ive always seen threads similar to this before MN and thought I would be totally fine when the day came.

OP posts:
BigusBumus · 09/09/2019 12:00

Yes stand just by the door, where she can't see you and wait 5 minutes.. You will usually hear your child stop crying and being entertained by her carer. Its horrible but she will be OK and this phase won't last. You could always phone when you get to work as well to make sure alls well. (My sons did this too, but its alright after a bit).

feemcgee · 09/09/2019 12:16

It is so rubbish, and you feel terrible, but my DC are now 10 and 13 and haven't suffered any lasting ill effects! Sometimes I had to pry my DD's hands off the side of the car to get her inside! If I waited outside, she almost always stopped quite quickly. Cuddles xx

prettygirlincrimsonrose · 09/09/2019 13:54

Normal. DS had a tough few days at the start (around 11 months) but didn't take long for him to be fine with me leaving and now at 21 months he runs into nursery smiling and I have to remind him to give me a goodbye hug because he's straight off to play with something. It is really tough at the beginning though so lots of sympathy.

Original poster
NoMealNoDeal · 09/09/2019 19:56

Thank you everyone. It's given me some piece of mind knowing. I know she's fine when dh leaves as they always say how lovely and happy she is though dh thinks they say that to everyone.

OP posts:
Sweetooth92 · 09/09/2019 20:02

It gets easier. DS is 20m but started at 6m. Over the time we’ve had a fair few new starters in his room. He’s in 4 days so I see a lot of the kids at drop off. Often there’s a few or two of years and being unsettled, but then they get used too it and settle in-before you know it they’re running in at breakfast to see their friends and hiding under the table at pick up time because they don’t want to go.

Even if you were to wait until 3 there would still be an adjustment period where you had the upset. Any good nursery would be honest and let you know if they were a little unsettled etc-and how they resolved it and so on. Whilst we see some upset with the new starters on drop off-I very rarely see any upset at pick up, the kids do seem to all enjoy it.

Do nursery take photos of DD for their learning records-ours have a digital camera in each room. Ask if they have any photos of her from the day. If you see her engaging in play and activities it may put your mind at rest. Kids are clever, the few times DS has cried at drop off for whatever reason by the time I’m out the door and have stored his bike he’s running around playing-I always have a peer through the window before I go

Sweetooth92 · 09/09/2019 20:03

Often there’s a week or two of tears that should say in the first paragraph!

Wheresmycider · 09/09/2019 20:07

My eldest cried nearly every day for the best part of 4 years.
If I waited out of sight I heard the tears stop within minutes and at the end of the day he usually wouldnt want to leave and would hide in the garden giggling like a loon!
All stopped when he started school.

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