When were you happy to leave baby with someone else?

[floravus]

I just can't bring myself to do it! I have an 8 month old baby. He is such an easy little thing and I just haven't felt like I 'need a break' from him. Don't get me wrong, it's nice when DH is home and can give him his dinner or change a nappy or whatever, but I wouldn't want him shipped off to someone else.

I have left him occasionally with MIL for the odd hour here and there, and whenever we have visitors I always let them hold him/play with him/feed him/take him for a walk, whatever they want to do, so he's really happy being with other people. I know he'd be absolutely fine without me for a day or a night but I would just miss him too much!

I'm turning 30 soon and a while back we spoke about going away for a few nights without DS but now I'd just rather take him with us. I don't know if it's just because we haven't really ever been the type to go out a lot in the evenings or what, but it just seems silly to leave DS behind and spend a lot of the time wishing he was around.

I'm not returning to work so I'd sort of just planned to wait until I naturally felt ready to leave him but at this rate I feel like he'll be 25 before I'm ready to is this normal or am I being silly?

Mine both started at nursery at 9 & 11 months. I was absolutely ready to have some time to myself and I really love my job, so it was fine.

But I would say around 2-2.5 with a family member. We don’t really have anyone who is especially good with children, so they really had to be older.

I think do what your comfortable with, but a meal out really is a treat and it’s only a few hours, so might be a nice way to ease into it. I found that daytime was easier though. Evenings are hard around that age, but to start, we just went to lunch while my mum pushed our eldest around the park.

My dd is 3 and we've only ever spent single nights away from her. One night is enough for us. We just miss her! Bit pathetic perhaps, but I don't mind being pathetic!

No need to leave him for a few nights if you don't want to, only thing I'd say is don't make the mistake of neglecting your marriage, make sure you schedule some quality time with dh, even if just a date night from time to time. I know not everyone has this luxury but I think it's a big strain on a relationship to never have any time to the two of you.

I didn't often have the option (living overseas with no family near) esp.. with EBF babies, but did occasionally on summer break leave one with my lovely MiL or dh, or both, to go for a quick shop or haircut.

I do remember a quick shopping trip with elder dd, and telling her we'd better get back in case baby sister (3 or 4 months) was getting hungry.
'Yes,' she said, at the top of her voice on an M&S escalator, 'because Daddy hasn't got any milk in his bosoms!'

Mine was left for a few hours for an evening meal at 1 month and over night at 4 months with grandparents

I haven’t left my 12mo overnight yet, it’s not an experience I’d wish to inflict on others. But I work full time and he spends his days with DH, who is a SAHD. I’ve been working since he was 16 weeks and I can’t say that I’ve really had any difficulties with that.

Left mine with my parents for 3 hours at 2 weeks old and am going away for 4 nights next month and she will be 16 weeks old. Husbands 30th and I want to treat him to a short break. To be fair soon as I booked it I was worried and I'm sure there will be tears (from me not her lol ) but she will be fine.

Mine are 4 and 5, and at school, and I'm still not mad keen leaving with others!

My parents had #1 for the night when #2 was born, and they baby sit periodically. I don't really have a burning desire to offload for a whole weekend or something though.

🤷🏼‍♀️

That’s fine I wouldn’t either

I should have said, we have been out in the evening twice without him. He is really good in the evenings, asleep by 6.45 and doesn't make a sound until morning so we do have evenings together at home which is nice. I think maybe that's why we aren't crawling the walls to get out. But then I think I don't see DS for all that time so surely going away overnight wouldn't be that different?! But of course, somehow it is DH works really long/unpredictable hours and often 7 days a week so we've never really been the date night type, more a takeaway with the TV type!

I left my ds with my sister overnight at around 4 months, but she picked him up at 6pm and brought him home at 9.30 the next morning. My dc are 4 and 5 now and have been left with my sister overnight several times and my niece has babysit for us too. I still wouldn't feel very comfy leaving them for more than one night. I'm a SAHM too and both of mine had to, 3 hour session so at pre school from being 2 years old.

A (non Brit) friend of mine left her 4 week old first baby with her parents while she went on holiday with her dh for a month!

For the life of me I couldn't understand how anyone could do that, but she seemed to think it quite normal. She came from a Mediterranean culture where it was quite usual to park kids with GPs for extended periods.
There was another (same culture, and we were all living far from home) who found her 2 very little boys such a handful (they were!) that she told me, 'I send them to my mother.'
And she did, for the best part of a year!

My MIL has been looking after DS from being just a couple of weeks old and started having him over night from 12 weeks. He's 4 now and he stays out at least once a month and for 2/3 days once a year so DH and I can go away.

I've never seen it as 'shipping him out' more an an opportunity for him to spend quality time with grandparents and for us to have some extended adult time together

At 3 weeks old, DH and I went out for lunch and DM looked after our DD, we were gone around 90 minutes. At 6 weeks old we went to a wedding for the day and again DM had our DD, would have been a few hours. I can't remember how old she was at her first overnight stay but probably around 6-9 months. She is 3yo now and probably stays overnight at either GPs every other month.

I went back to work (part time) when she was 13 months.

I think it all depends on you, your relationship and who is looking after the child. There is no right or wrong answer, you just have to do what feels best for you. If you don't feel ready yet, then you don't feel ready!

About six weeks old, my parents took him out for 3-4 hours so we could get some sleep.

We haven't done an overnight yet (7 months old) as there's been no need but he's frequently (pretty much every day) with his grandparents for a few hours (we live with them).

That's not saying that our way is the only way though. It's just that we're spending a while living with my wife's parents to save for a deposit and the culture where they are is very different to the UK. It's normal that every day different people will drop round to say hi and have a cup of tea and in the evening we sit outside with our neighbours. It's quite normal for me to come down from work to find a neighbour or one of the farm hands playing with our child.

My DS stayed with my sis at about 14 months just for one night. He stayed with my MiL for three nights at 18 months old. It's whatever suits you but don't let anyone tell you what's right or wrong.