New mum!

[LeeNat26]

Well. I’m a new mum, gave birth 2 weeks ago to a beautiful girl weighing 6.7lbs & I was 39w6d! I’m finding it a juggle atm, just well it all being new to me & figuring everything out. I’ve had my moments where I’ve just sat & held her, & just cried & during some bad days I’ve just wanted to rip my hair out cos she’s crying & I feel I’m doing wrong. I know I’m probably not & it’s just frustration that my baby girl is crying & idk why. This is not what I expected. But she’s worth it. I just want to make sure im doing right by her, I feel I can’t even take her out cos I’m scared of what may happen - she may cry & kick off & I can’t do right by her & people think I’m a bad mum. It’s all overwhelming! I’m just scared & anxious. It’s awful. X

Congratulations on having your baby! These are normal feelings- as your body recovers from the shock and the well wishers fade away reality sets in. A whole new person to look after and there’s no book so you have to make it up and try different things- put lack of sleep, hormones and a cry hard wired to instantly have you on high alert and this is how you feel.
Make sure you see your Health visitor and tell her how you feel. If baby is feeding, wet and soiled nappies and having some sleep it all sounds normal. Have you got support from family and friends? The big thing is to ask for help eg take baby out in pushchair for 2 hours while you sleep ( not tidy house). Go for a walk with your DD even if for 10 mins, take a pal too, in no time you’ll find your feet. Every mum has felt this way, if DD has you panicking when you are out - every mum would be glad to assist - not judge. All of what you describe is that if a lovely mum wanting to provide for DD in the best way and- you will

^thank you very much! Well yeah they just feel very overwhelming & at times unbearable. I mean the first few days were hard cos even though it felt natural, I was struggling at the same time more trying to juggle everything at once than anything. Oh yes the lack of sleep for sure! I’ve had depression & anxiety in the past & have been off antidepressants during the pregnancy advised by GP but was told I could carry them on if needed. I’ve not felt I actually need them plus I didn’t wanna risk taking them during the pregnancy even though the doctors advised it in the end. They always check up on me & how I feel, I should’ve been discharged by the midwife on Friday but due to my emotional state she wants to see me 1 more time before I’m discharged. I’ve already seen my health visitor, who I’ll see again in 6w. Baby is breastfeeding & feeding fairly well, she’s passing urine & opening her bowels fairly well too! She’s at the yellow seedy stage now. Just today I found she was crying a lot even after every feed she had, at times she’s spit up & id check & change her nappy, I’d nurse her to sleep & after doing everything for her, I didn’t know what more it could be but wind/tummy ache. My sister advised me to give the baby infacol, which tonight I gave her a tiny drop & panicked thinking I was choking her. She swallowed it & I straight away started to breastfeed & she went sleep on my chest. I put her in her crib & I leave the room to come back & she’s awake, grunting, like she’s trying to poo (bare in mind she’s pooed 4x today) so I changed her nappy cos she was wet & I fed her again & now she’s Sleep on me. I need a shower myself but I’m scared to move her in case I disturb her again. I just don’t think I give her enough Infacol, as I only give a small drop. She sleeps well also. Yeah I have support from everyone.

Totally normal to fee this way OP! ☺️
No one will think you're a bad mum because your baby is crying. Especially a new baby.
Try not to let what you think other people might think about you consume you. You are doing great and better than you think.
Your baby is still very new and just wants cuddles from her mummy ☺️. My boy is 9 weeks and still loves to fall asleep on my chest. Treasure all the little cuddles because it goes so fast! 😩
I have my LB infacol around this age but I gave him one whole one. Do it bit by bit before a feed. My boy bagged all the time with it 🙄 or pulled a funny face lol.
She might have a bit of colic so look out for signs of that.
Do you swaddle your baby? Not all babies like it but a lot do. My LO sleeps a lot longer when he is swaddled

Spelling mistakes in that post 😂

Infacol is cumulative, give it every night and it works better as time goes on, My middle one had colic it was really horrendous and I didn't get told about colic for 3 weeks so I just suffered it with him before the HV asked about nighttime and I cried on the poor woman about the hours of crying because he had what I thought were stomach cramps every night. She had infacol in her bag, she is still one of my greatest memories of those first months!

The very worst times are 10-2am so you should be in the clear now.

Yeah the emotional rollercoaster batters all of us, but it does settle down. I took about 6-8 weeks to feel normal with first 2 and had some insomnia, loads of crying and obsessive thinking but I was happy enough though they kept an eye on me but 3rd I was ok in first 10 days. Don't think about it too much, the most stoic women feel every emotion there is at greater intensity for a while after giving birth. The hormones are bastards

Babies are bloody great though!

Oh and when people see a newborn crying they are more likely to reassure you and coo at her then they are to judge you.

Babies cry and every person you walk past was a crying baby once, go out when you fancy it and tell yourself to stop worrying, enjoy these weeks. They fly by

Thanks guys, I literally put her back in her crib & I took the opportunity to go get a shower & I come back & she's grunting & that again & nearly crying for a feed. It's seems now I can't put her down in her crib cos she wakes again. I don't think I've given her enough infacol & how she reacted scared me before thought she was gonna go blue & die but it's obv cos she didn't like it but she swallowed it no problem. But just scary to see her act that way to something she ain't used too. I did give her the tiniest drop! Now she's feeding again probably gonna go sleep but what do I do as I need sleep but can't have her sleep on me & when I move her to her crib she stirs. This is the 1st time doing this, she's so unsettled 😭😭

She's not constipated cos she's had a poo 4x but she's grunting during a feed & doing the leg movement 😭😭😭

When a baby brings their legs up usually is a sign there is a wind. My baby grunts too when he has a little bit of wind. Infacol made my LB go for a poo a lot. Do you swaddle her? And do you use a sleepy head pod?

OP re the cot - try putting a hot water bottle in it when you take her out so it’s warm when she goes back in (remove when she’s in it) also put One of your dirty tops ready for the wash in the cot too so the cot smells of you, also remove when you are not there re suffocation risk. Infacol worked for us too

Hi 👋 @LeeNat26,

Just wanted to be another person to say what you are feeling is normal in my experience.

I found the first few months such a 'rush', in the day time my baby fed every two hours (which I know is pretty good) but she fed for 40 minutes then would have ten minutes rest and then another ten minutes feed and then maybe sleep for 40-50 minutes, then nappy change and repeat and repeat and repeat all day.
It didn't feel like there was anytime to shower, eat or anything else.

I found going out hard work as well, my plan used to be to get myself totally ready while the baby slept including changing bag, pram etc. then when the baby woke feed her and then get her ready for her nap in the pushchair (in her case that meant swaddling her) and then go. I found she would sleep nicely with a full stomach and the motion of the pram. I too feared her crying (at all but especially) in public but when she did I found that strangers were really supportive and I didn't feel any judgement.

The colic/random crying in the evening is a very hard phase, we used infacol as well. It does pass, for us it was 6 weeks in length. What helped for me what my husband holding her in the evening while I cooked simple dinners, he held her on our bed upstairs (while watching TV) so I could still hear her crying but a bit of time slightly removed from the crying helped.

Congratulations on your new baby. Mine is 16 months now and it's a totally different experience (and totally worth it).

Ps. Try swaddling if you haven't already, my baby wouldn't sleep alone without a swaddle at that age (or any age until 1 year) but with a swaddle she slept well in her cot.

Pps. I didn't manage any daytime sleep, the only hope of extra sleep was when my husband could take over. It's really hard.