Really struggling with a difficult baby

[AwkwardAsAllGetout]

And I feel totally rubbish about it. My baby is 5 months old and has always been unsettled. She screamed for the first 3 and a half months of life, the evenings were the worst so everyone’s put it down to colic. I’ve seen a paediatrician and dietician who don’t think it’s allergy related as there are no classic, consistent symptoms and my going dairy free and made no difference. I’ve seen a cranial osteopath who charged me an obscene amount for essentially poking her a little bit. She seems to be in pain with her digestion a lot as she only has a poo every 5 days or so and when she does go it smells awful (she’s still exclusively breastfed). I feel stupid for being at the end of my tether. She’s my 4th baby so I should be able to cope but she’s such hard work. I’ve only been able to put her in her cot for naps in the last three weeks or so as she’s only sleep on me and wake up and scream as soon as she was put down. She screamed for a 40 minute car journey today so that I ended up in tears and she’s been miserable all day. I feel guilty too as I know that something must be wrong for her to be so unhappy, I just don’t know what it is. I’m lucky that dh is amazing with her. But I’m exhausted and beginning to wonder if I have PND. But surely feeling low is totally normal when you spend all day listening to a baby scream? I’m a terrible sleeper at the best of times anyway but I take hours to drift off, by which time she’s awake again. She’s cosleeping and latched on pretty much all night, again if I try to unlatch her she wakes up screaming. I’m sorry for the rambling post. I simply don’t know what to do. I’m starting to resent feeding her as she won’t take a bottle and it means I can’t get any time to myself. I went out for a coffee when we managed to get home today as I felt I was going to explode, but as soon as I walked through the door I was met by screaming again. How am I meant to cope with this

She could have reflux, which will Improve when she starts sitting up.

Nothing particularly helpful to offer, but it does get better, honest!

Pickle, she’s started sitting up this week so hopefully there’s something in that, thank you

My second dd was like this. My first dd was really chilled. It's not you. You aren't doing anything wrong. Babies just have different temperaments. It's a struggle but it does get easier the older they get. Dd is 12 now and lovely and she's been lovely for ages. She was a lovely baby too but bloody hard work! Could you ask about home start or whatever it's called? I didn't but wished I had.

Silent reflux? many of the usual reflux symptoms, without the sick.

Keep going with a bottle. Give her to your other half at a specific time of day (bedtime worked for me) with a bottle. Be consistant. It will almost certainly be a battle but probably worth it for your sanity. Ditto dummy. Unlatch, like dummy in. Ds1 was as you describe, I didn't persist with dummy or bottle (I didn't have it in me) but with ds2 I started both early. Made for a much easier life. Feel for you.

Oooo, I had one of those. He started to improve around 7 months, although is still very highly strung compared to my other totally chilled out child.

ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! Some babies are just like that.

My 3rd was like this, silent reflux. Only real symptom was when she posseted even with minutes of feeding it was already curdled.

It was utter hell, nearly broke DH and I!

OP, I remember feeling a bit like this when my son was a baby and just wanted to say I'm listening.

I don't have many suggestions to offer (I never really sorted out my own difficult baby so probably aren't the person to advise!) but your feelings are absolutely valid, and you sound like a wonderful mother.

Personally, I did have PND and getting support for that helped a lot, but my baby still wasn't an easy child. I still don't know what some of the issues were, but I can say that from 7mths or so gradually bit by bit he moved away from angry baby banshee mode and eventually became the sweetest and most mellow of toddlers. He's still very easy to manage behaviour-wise years later. He just got his awkwardness out early I think 🙂.

I wish you all the best hour by hour, day by day, and tell you that honestly, you can do this xxx.