This is my first time on mums.net so please bear with me....I'm married to a lovely dh and have a ds aged 15years. A couple of years ago my ds told me he is gay. I have no problem or issue with that other than I can't help feel worried about him for the future. One of the reasons is that we have no extended family we can go to for help/support. My sister has called me names all my life but basically made out it was a joke ie trollop, bimbo, stupid, thick, weird you name it, I was called it. I used to take my 2 nieces away on holiday before my ds was born as it was so important to me to be close to my family. However, when my ds was born I was so scared he would pick up on his mum being called these names and being put down all the time by my sister and brother in law, who was just as bad when it came to calling me names, my sister would allow it. If my dh did that to her I would go ballistic. I would take my nieces to Alton Towers for the weekend as my BIL was in the RAF and wasn't home til the weekends and knew their marriage wasn't in a great place and hoped it would give them space. However, when I brought the girls back, all I got was put downs or called bimbo or just something nasty which quite often had me in tears.
I eventually stopped all contact with my sister for 7 years as the name calling was killing me. After 7 years, my mum called me one day to say my BIL had left my sister and she was suicidal. I genuinely thought enough time had passed and bridges could be built. I called me sister and from thereon and over the past 4 years I was there for her night and day and my son had his aunt and cousins (I knew he adored my sister). I was beyond happy and we had some good times together. My sister eventually met another man and basically started distancing herself and becoming secretive and started putting me down again. I tried to ignore this but did say to her I couldn't put up with how she was with me years ago. She has never taken this on board and says I'm too sensitive or laughs it off. She has always said it would be hard not to be jealous of me as I have everything (my dh has a very well paid job) and that I am much prettier than her. I've never thought that and was shocked to hear her say that. I know she doesn't keep well but I've always been there for her and my nieces as much as is humanly possible but have always been rejected by my sister unless she really needs me. I used to have them all over at Xmas many years running but she has never invited us, but would invite my mum and dad saying there wasn't enough room (that's not true either) although I do have a bigger house, but started to feel as though I was a mug. Anyway, we fell out after exchanging a few brutally honest texts and now I don't see her or my nieces (who have sided with their mum, which I understand) though I thought my nieces would have realised how much we loved them and spoiled them over the years. I am so broken by this. So now my son has no cousins either. My dh's family are abroad and his parents died a few years ago.
Please know I am not bothered by my son's sexuality, only that I am so worried for him as me and his dad won't be around forever and he has no one else to turn to. It's possible he could one day start a family but I'm not so sure realistically if that would happen. My mum is all I have but she is in her 80s and my dad is a nasty piece of work who has always called me a loser and worse, he's the same as my sister. Please know I am not a loser, I dress well, have been told I'm an attractive woman and think I'm kind, very loyal and would help anyone that needed help. I don't have many friends as a lot have moved abroad with their husbands for better work prospects which has been hard. A lot of women can be quite bitchy where I live and I've always had bitchy comments about why I wear make up and always look so "perfect" as some mums have put it. I definitely don't feel perfect and my life is far from perfect. I've been told by friends in the past that I look like I have it all?? I'm incredibly confused by this and maybe I'm blinded or ignorant in some way, but it seems to happen a lot to me and I wonder if I'm putting something out there that I don't mean to, sorry there's so much in my head just now and I don't mean to run off in a tangent.
Is there anyone that has felt/experienced similar situations?? Or am I missing something??