This has upset me even though it should not.

[JapaneseBirdPainting]

DS1 is aged 10.

Tonight he said 'we never do anything 'real' at the weekends'

This has upset me hideously. Every single bloody weekend we do something. For example- last 4 weeks... we spent a long weekend away at a holiday campe on the Isle of Wight. Then the next weekend we spent a day in a city near us and visited a Cathedral, and a museum and an evening show. The weekend after that we visited a farm park and a trampoline centre. Last weekend we did a car boot sale (DS1's favourite) and went swimming. This weekend we have just had- an afternoon at a soft play, and then today Ds did his first gymnastric lesson that he has been wanting for ages.

I have worked fucking overtime to do some of these things.

Ds1 is not usually so ungrateful, and was probabyl speaking without thinkinbg but this ahs upset me immensely. I have told Dh to put the boys to bed because i just need some time to myself.

Just a generic whinge.

What did he mean by real?

What did he mean by real? We plan loads of days out, weekends away, etc. ...in reality too many, as I discovered my 6 year old actually likes down time at home playing with her toys, doing arts and crafts, riding her bikes. If you continuously do planned days out, then they don't get any down time to just chill and go their own thing.

Perhaps he actually means that you do too much. He wants to just slop around, do nothing and meet his friends.
My ds needs to have time doing "nothing" at the weekend.

Things together as a family. Not being on devices(which is his favourite thing).

The weekend on the Isle of Wight was just me and the boys as DH was away for work. The day trip away was all 4 of us. The soft play all 4 of us.

Did he maybe mean jobs like gardening, cleaning etc?

I'd make sure I understood what he meant by 'real' before getting too upset.

'Real' is a funny term to use. What does he mean do you think? Maybe he thinks real is slobbing about in pjs and generally having downtime. Or maybe he means a trip to Lidl's?

I realise the last 4 weekends probably overlap with the school holidays but that's an awful lot of things to have done and quite a lot of things I wouldn't have said would be an average 10 year old's first choice.

How does he want to spend his time? Have you ever asked him? He may feel that he spends a lot of time doing things he's not that bothered about.

Does he want chores to earn pocket money?

I have wondered about over scheudling before. We tend to have a busy day then a slop around day with dvds. This weekend was pretty quiet because we were back at school. i sometimes feel guilty because the boys do nto really have alot of clubs or activities...Neither of them have hobbies per se... but I try and do 'something' every weekend- even if it is ';just' soft play or ;just' the cinema mor something like that.

'Real; is a term I use. Because DS1 likes to be on his computer and tablet. I keep saying 'let's do something real' like- something interactive with the real world.

Yes what does he mean by ‘real’? It sounds like you do quite a lot of fun stuff!

Yes- probably more than usual because of the school holidays and because I had to work all through. So I would 'save' our weekends for 'something'. Day trips and weekends away.

I know the days sound packed- but not really. So, this weekend for example - yesterday we had homes tuff and chores and shopping then soft play in the afternoon for a couple of hours. This monring was gymnastics then dvds. So it sounds packed, but is not really if you know what I mean.

He is always asked about what he wants to do. The museum was his choice. The gymnastics was his choice. The soft play was his younger brother's choice. The weekend away was his choice. (The last weekend we did in Spring was a London weekend- Shrek and the Natural History museum- both his choice). The farm park was both the boys choice.

So has he said what he'd rather do?
how old is your younger child? Are you falling into the habit of doing activities that are more aimed at younger child and the older one just has to go along and take part? Soft play (for example) is not something I'd expect a 10 year old still to be choosing to go to - but maybe you have a local centre that's more aimed at older children.

Does he do things with friends as well as family ? My DC liked a mix of family/friends time at that sort of age.

I'm sorry OP - that must have hurt, especially as you worked so hard to make all thos activities happen.
My kids were lucky if I took them to the local swimming pool at the weekend. XH was the one for always doing things; when with me they had to make their own entertainment, play a board game, go out on their bikes, etc. I was good for cuddles on the sofa, baking together, maybe watching a video.
He was probably quite tired and the comment slipped out so I wouldn't worry too much about it and wouldn't mention it again. However, if he mentions this again try to get to the bottom of what is actually bothering him.

Sorry... I am going to stop posting now as I have to go to shut the house and animals down for the night. Thanks for listening. It helped to vent a bit on here and to let it go a bit. Just blurting it out on the page has helkped calm me down a bit. I usually feel slightly inadequate at this parenting lark so i think DS just pushed my most sensitive button.

Let us know (when you have time) if he gives you any examples of these 'real' activities he'd like to do.

Thanks everyone for replying. I have gently asked. DS is quite keen on the idea of something called a Nintendo switch. I am honestly not 100% sure what it is. We don't have alot of electronic stuff, so I can research as not sure if we need special equipmnet etc.

Except for the computer and wifi I am a Luddite. I am guessing maybe he wants to be a bit more like his friends, or have some more alone / quiet time.