How old we dc when they got themselves ready in the morning?

[DeathMetalMum]

Reliably? I mean you could ask them to go and get dressed and have a wash and they'd do it without messing around or playing halfway through or dancing round the bathroom? Trying to work out if my expectations are too high or I need to crack down on dd's a bit. They're 6&8 and unless someone is watching them like a hawk they just mess and it just doesn't happen. Dd1 can just about manage it by herself if she's alone (dd2 is the master at time wasting which doenst help) but if I asked them to go up at the same time then they just piss about until I start shouting someone goes upstairs to officiate and it's driving me insane.

9 and 7 and still need 'bouncering' - i'm upstairs anyway dressing the toddler so just keep sporadically calling out to remind them to get dressed.

My 6 and 8 yo get themselves ready with minimal input (dp wakes them and helps them with their hair). Dp does the mornings, he is just really consistent with what order things are done and how long they have. So, the dc are dressed and downstairs by 7.30, breakfast finished by 7.45, then teeth, then hair, then shoes and coat and out of the door by 8. I do get their uniforms and bags ready the night before.

Mine are a year older than your two. If clothes are laid out - I put them on their beds when I wake up in the morning and usually have to wake dc2 - they get themselves ready.

Most of the time I have to remind re getting shoes on, and always check that they've brushed their teeth and washed their face and hands.

They have breakfast at school during the week. Sometimes they'll have a piece of fruit or will ask for a slice of toast with jam after they've dressed.

I just got rountine chart for my lot in the morning as the faffing was driving me crazy even with me 'bouncering'. albeit mine are a little younger. would second getting clothes out the night before, dressing and teeth down stairs is easier. less distractions.

I think it's a motivation thing. As soon as DD started walking to school without me, she stepped up and took control of her mornings. We helped her with a checklist and a timetable to start her off, but ultimately when it became her problem to get herself to school, rather than my problem, she was a lot more disciplined.

Our other child is autistic and we spend swathes of the morning finessing him and trying to manage his anxiety. We have a timetable and mnemonic so we try to nag him to remember what's on his list, rather than just telling him, but it is still work in progress and he is already 10.

Mine are 9 and 10 and distinctly better at it than last term. They’ve been capable for years but they wind each other up.
Lately though it’s been enough to raise an eyebrow or say “seriously?” so I think they’re growing up.
I have started cultivating an impression of not caring too much about being on time, which works as reverse psychology so they chivvy me along. Ds is not a morning person and getting him up was a nightmare. Lately I’ve told him that sleep is important and I’ll write a note if he’d rather go in later but I’m only calling him once. If he can’t get himself up he must be too tired for school. It doesn’t stop the groaning but he gets up.
Obviously this will all backfire on me but in the meantime it’s working well

Mine are 11 and 8, and all I do is make sure they are up, make breakfast, and remind them when it's time to do teeth and hair. The 8 year old gets herself up (early riser), the 11 year old needs chivvying to get out of bed, but once they are up there is little else I need to do, and it's been this way for a few years. We do have a rule though that they get dressed before going downstairs which helps.

Oh, and in terms of bathing, that is done in the evenings, but again, they do it all themselves. 8 year old has been running her own bath and washing her own hair for at least a couple of years.

Ds is 4 and will get himself dressed, go for a wee, wash his hands, put shoes on, fetch his backpack and put his coat unsupervised and with a minimium of fuss. I'm usually handing around in the background wrangling his 15 month sister into her clothes, new nappy, pushchair but he doesn't need much if any assistance.

I supervise/assist with teethcleaning but everything else he reliable does himself before we leave for preschool.

I started him early though as I had dreadful morning sickness with his little sister and then another emergency section with her. I think it only being him helps too, no distractions.

I've never had to stand and watch them since they've been in school. Mine are 8 and 5, and as I say since reception at least (can't remember what happened when they were in nursery but I assume I got them ready!) don't get me wrong I sometimes have to shout out to shimmy them along if I can hear dawdling (well my youngest, my eldest has always been very obedient and just does what's asked, youngest less so!) but I don't watch them and it doesn't take more than a couple of prompts.

Oh but one trick I have is to call the eldest up first to start getting ready (I'm usually in my bedroom getting ready myself) then when he's done sending him down and then calling my youngest up to get ready, this means no messing around together. They can do what they like before and after that. They also get their own breakfast from the fridge when they wake up (over night oats) and clean up after themselves, and get their clothes out of the drawers themselves.

Dd6 is my youngest and least independent.

She does the routine mostly by herself but needs prompting rather than bouncering! I can give her three instructions at a time eg socks shoes teeth.

She struggles to get her own breakfast so one of us does that and she starts off eating. Then we make her sandwich or main meal for lunch and she packs the rest.

My older dc were pretty much self sufficient at her age although none make their own lunch and the oldest is 14 !!

I have always worked part time and had very limited support from Dh or anyone else between 7 and school time so it's everyone for themselves really !!

My son is four.

In the morning we wake up together for morning cuddles, he knows he can stay in bed or play nicely until I have done my exercise. Then he gets up, goes to the loo, has a go at brushing his teeth brings me his toothbrush so I can finish them to make sure they’re cleaned properly. He then goes to his room and gets dressed, as he now has a uniform I do lay it on his chair before bed as he has a few items to remember.

We have a bath in the evening, he washes himself but as he has long hair I wash that so it doesn’t get all tangled and then I rinse it. He returns the favour and (badly) washes mine. He dries himself after a bath now and can brush his hair if it’s dry.

OP I wouldn't worry about all these 4 year olds. IME the most biddable of 4 year olds can turn into very pleasant 8 or 9 year old who is maddeningly incapable of drawing their nose out of Harry Potter. But she has turned out ok in the long run.

DD is 6. Zero chance of her doing it without me chivvying her along. I go along with it in return for a calm quiet easy morning.